Oriana Schwindt

Oriana Schwindt never met a low-rated show she didn't like (alas, poor Firefly/Terriers/Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23, we knew you well!). Her career trajectory can be traced back to the tender age of 13 when she fell in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and began studying ratings to figure out whether her favorite show stood a chance of renewal; she's been plotting her House of Cards-style ascension to Ruler of Television ever since. Her byline has appeared in Rolling Stone, BusinessWeek, and Entertainment Weekly and she is a former TV Guide Magazine staff writer.