’90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?’: Ultimatums (RECAP)

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 5, Episode 6 of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?]

It’s all about catering to the Americans this week as Elizabeth searches for cheeseburgers in Moldova and Debbie uses her camera time to audition for ICE. In the words of a newly-baptized Elizabeth, “holy crap” indeed.

“Baby Man”

With his mother Debbie tucked in for a nap, Colt and Jess go to dinner in Brazil. He also booked a separate room for more privacy. “I like sex. You like sex. So your mom here, no sex,” Jess summarizes.

“I got a second room just to make everyone comfortable,” Colt confirms. Jess dubs Debbie’s behavior as “crazy,” which obviously offends mama’s boy Colt.

“[Debbie] is doing the same s**t she did with Larissa,” Colt admits in a confessional, but he defends his mother to Jess at dinner. Jess privately says she’s starting to believe Larissa’s warning that Debbie is not “old lady ‘cute.'”

Colt tries to relate to Jess: both of them lost parents, and he is now overly protective of his mother. Jess points out that losing his father is not an excuse for Debbie’s attitude towards her, and she expects that her family will not mesh with Debbie’s coldness. Colt argues to which Jess calls him “a baby man.” They just agree to wait and see and go off to have “sex all night.”

What’s a Wedding Without Cheeseburgers?

Elizabeth and Andrei start their wedding venue search in Moldova. They tour a casino in a strip mall, which automatically is not up to Elizabeth’s standards. “I didn’t really have any specific idea of what I’m looking for in a wedding venue here, but it’s kind of tacky. The furniture is outdated and this just isn’t doing it for me at all right now,” she complains to the camera.

Elizabeth also is adamant about having non-traditional Moldovan food since it will “weird out” her family that the dishes “look weird.” Andrei jokes that her family will only want fried chicken, and while Elizabeth feigns offense, she suggests cheeseburgers instead. Can they be any more American? “It’s not about her family. It’s about our wedding…if they don’t like it, they can go around the corner and eat some American fast food,” Andrei says in a confessional.

Elizabeth shoots down the first casino option, and of course this sparks an argument between her and Andrei. She uses the fact that she couldn’t taste the venue food as an excuse, when in reality, the selection of entrées wasn’t up to par. Andrei calls her annoying, she snaps that he should shut up, and Elizabeth storms off.

Adam at Law

Larissa visits with her attorney Adam Vander Heyden to prepare for court. She hopes that her domestic violence charges will be reduced to disorderly conduct, especially since she’s finished her community service and anger management therapy classes. Her lawyer checks in about Larissa’s rekindled romance with her ex Eric to make sure she’s not repeating the same mistakes. After Adam’s multiple appearances on camera, can Larissa just finally date him instead?

Adam tells Larissa that her relationship with Eric, if it becomes as violent and toxic as her marriage to Colt, could potentially lead to her deportation. “I need to stay out of trouble,” she concludes.

American Woman

Angela shows fiancé Michael the suits she had bought him for their wedding. He is so touched by her choices and keeps repeating “oh wow” before dancing. Even though they’re getting married in Nigeria, Angela wanted an American style wedding, hence the non-traditional suits for Michael. He is beyond overjoyed though, and the happy couple continue with their wedding planning.

Michael brings Angela to meet with some American expats in Nigeria. He is also hoping that she will consider living in Nigeria until his spousal visa is approved. “I cannot live here. I’ll listen out of respect to your friend but I am not moving here,” Angela replies. “I can’t just up and move. My family depends on me…Not only that, I’m an American woman. I can’t give up hot water, electricity. I’m spoiled. I can’t live like that.”

It’s tense when Angela and Michael arrive to meet his friends. However, Michael had made it seem like the person they were meeting was a man; as soon as Angela spots three pretty young women, she refuses to speak with them. It’s clear her doubts about Michael’s fidelity have resurfaced. “That’s a wrap Mike,” she yells. “I’m done…Take your a** to the apartment. I want to be away from you. There’s not going to be a marriage.”

Father-in-Law Advice

Asuelu and Kalani returned to Utah after a tumultuous weekend in California. Kalani’s father Low asks Asuelu to walk their dog with him for some alone time. “I’m a little nervous,” Asuelu admits.

He tries to defend his behavior, even having the audacity to blame his mother-in-law Lisa. Low though does empathize with Asuelu’s assumption to “control women” in America and the cultural shift between Samoa and the U.S.

“I don’t like you cussing in front of my wife and daughter, and besides it was Oliver’s birthday that day and everything went to s**t,” Low scolds Asuelu. “I’m trying my best to not get violent but you’re going to have to learn how to treat your wife because I’m not having that.”

Asuelu promises to apologize to Kalani. “I know that I have really bad issues with my temper, but I want to prove to Low that everything I say to him today, I mean it,” he tells the camera.

Homesick

Syngin just learned that his brother was in the ICU in South Africa with a blood clot in his lung. He FaceTimes his brother, who thankfully is healthy and out of the hospital. Syngin also opens up about being in America on the K-1 visa last year when his grandmother passed away. Syngin tells his brother that he hopes to go back to South Africa as soon as possible and potentially without Tania.

Syngin meets up with Tania at a café after her physical therapy. “This whole thing gave me a fright,” he confides in her. “I would love to go see [my brother], like fly out ASAP. But I have to hear about you. Can we do it with the budget right now?”

In a confessional, Tania admits it’s not the best time for Syngin to leave but she understands that it’s a family emergency. He asks her to accompany him, but she points out their current marital issues. “I hear your concerns and I know that changes need to happen otherwise this isn’t going to work,” he tells her. Tania also fears that if Syngin returns to Cape Town, he’ll not want to come back to America.

Weird Looking Food aka Not Cheeseburgers

“I’m seriously going to punch you in the face. Can we get through this?” Elizabeth screeches.

“You’re being a brat,” Andrei mutters. “You’re just a magnet for bad. What’s the problem?”

They get back in the car to visit a second venue, all while calmly arguing about which of them is more patient with the other. “I’m just brushing it off. We have enough stress going on right now,” Elizabeth tells the camera as they enter another wedding venue.

This time, she likes the equally tacky auditorium. “It’s clean, it’s inviting, it’s upscale,” she coos. They sample the food (still no cheeseburgers in sight) and while it’s “really weird looking,” it tasted good. Yes, Elizabeth, this is called another culture. Not everything you don’t recognize is immediately disgusting.

Now in good spirits, Andrei and Elizabeth dance in their new wedding venue. “This is so romantic!” she smiles.

First Impressions

“I feel like my mother is not a fan of Jess. It concerns me that my mother and Jess will not get along,” Colt tells the camera as he goes to check on Debbie the next morning. Over breakfast, Debbie admits to having a “meltdown” after they arrived. Of course she also pushes Colt to talk to Vanessa, the other woman in his life whom Jess forbade Colt from speaking with.

Despite her initial complaints, Debbie seems pretty pleased to be in Brazil, eating guava on a balcony overlooking the ocean. She thanks Colt for getting a separate room for him and Jess to have sex in. “I’m thankful too because Jess is pretty loud,” he brags to his mother. Anyone else think this is insanely creepy?

Colt also confronts Debbie about her behavior the night before. “I know you were tired, but you don’t have to be an a**hole,” he tells her. In the next breath, he also asks what she thinks of Jess, which makes no sense since Jess barely had any interaction with Debbie aside from getting the door slammed in her face.

“She seems to have a goal, she seems to have a plan,” Debbie conspiratorially retorts. “I think you’ll find out. There were warning signs and you ignored them. So give me more than 30 minutes being in the same room as her to give my opinion.”

She believes that Jess wants to marry Colt and have children as soon as possible to ensure her citizenship in the U.S.

“Let the Money Flow”

Larissa goes on another date with Eric. She blows kisses to him and flirts over dinner. Eric confirms that Colt is out of Larissa’s life, but he still has his doubts about her changed behavior. Larissa asks Eric what he didn’t like about their past relationship so they can move forward. He says that they spent too much time together, and Larissa criticizes him for being cheap. “Now I feel like it’s time to let the money flow a little bit,” she smiles. She asks him to buy her new breasts.

“I feel like she keeps my life interesting,” Eric tells the camera. “I just figure roll with it, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.” Sounds healthy.

Larissa believes that her friend Carmen will be upset if she knows that Larissa and Eric are back together. Carmen also let Larissa live with her, and so Carmen has known all about how toxic Larissa is with Eric. “So you threw me under the bus and now she just would be totally against you seeing me while living in her house?” Eric clarifies. “You’re going to eventually have to tell her if you want to continue seeing me.”

Far From Home

Angela presses Michael why he wanted her to meet his female friends. “You go to hell. They can’t tell me what goes on in my life in America,” Angela screams. “You think you were going to sit with three women at a table, in person, without me? B***h, you caused this argument. I’m not a stupid woman. And if I’m a freakin’ stupid woman, why would you want to marry a stupid b***h? Those women can’t tell me about my household…Maybe you need to marry them, Michael!”

Michael insists that his male friend was just running late. Angela’s daughter Skyla calls her and explains that Angela’s elderly mother has the early signs of dementia. Also apparently the oxygen wasn’t on properly the night before, and Angela, being across the world in Nigeria, panics at how Skyla is caring for her mother. “I don’t have the energy right now to worry about my mom and fight with you about these girls. I’m stressed out trying to figure out what to do when I’m stuck over here. She was fine when I left and now she’s having problems,” Angela opens up to Michael. “Damn you and those women. I’m done talking about it.”

Michael says to the camera that he’s worried about Angela being under stress. He pulls over the car so she can smoke. He apologizes to her and asks if she still wants to get married. “Are we made for each other?” Angela asks him.

“I know you love me, and I know I love you too,” Michael comforts her.

“Holy Crap”

Elizabeth goes to a church to be baptized and officially convert to Andrei’s religion. She doesn’t understand the ceremony due to the language barrier, plus a lack of prior research. Elizabeth admits that she hasn’t told her family yet about the conversion because she expects them to say, “holy crap, what did you get yourself into?” Her baptism is necessary though to marry Andrei in Moldova and also baptize their daughter Eleanor.

Andrei, meanwhile, is very proud of Elizabeth accepting his religion. In a confessional, she is concerned about how conservative the rules are for women in the religion, but he assures her to just follow them.

Later at a celebratory dinner with Andrei’s brother, Elizabeth admits to not wearing her cross. She thinks of it like a funny joke post-baptism, but her sister-in-law explains the importance of the cross. Andrei says this is Elizabeth’s attempt to prove she’s independent, and Elizabeth counters that it’s symbolic of their lack of communication. They delve into the same conversation about gender roles and how Andrei stays home while Elizabeth works. The intersection of both differing cultures and religions culminates in a “man as the brains, women as the neck” metaphor, which offends Elizabeth.

“I really don’t want to have to call Andrei out right now and embarrass him in front of his family, but if he keeps doing this, I’m going to have to put him in his place,” she threatens in a confessional.

Beach, Please

Debbie goes to the beach to meet up with Jess. After the usual pleasantries, Debbie apologizes. Jess tells Debbie that her family is very excited to meet her, but Debbie judges her for coming up with names for Colt’s future children. Debbie asks when her visa expires; Jess says it feels like an interrogation. “I’m just trying to be myself. So if Debbie like me, okay. If no like, f**k her because I’m Jess,” she tells the camera.

Debbie questions Jess’ intentions after her visa is up, and Jess says she might go back to Brazil or might marry Colt. “I’ve been through this with Colt once before. His ex-wife is from Brazil and she kind of used Colt to get into the United States. You understand why I’m concerned?” Debbie asks Jess.

“Maybe you’re mad because I’m Brazilian too?” Jess responds. Separately, she says she believes Larissa entirely regarding Debbie.

“Colt and I have a very close relationship and we have to get along so he’s not put in the middle,” Debbie explains to Jess. “His last relationship he was made to choose…so we just need to get along.”

Surprise Moving Day

Larissa tells her best friend and roommate Carmen about reuniting with Eric. “We are back together,” she announces.

“When she’s with a man, she doesn’t think straight,” Carmen tells the camera. She urges Larissa to not “beg for love” and learn the importance of dignity. “You don’t need a man to exist.” Carmen overall believes that Larissa will probably self-destruct and be deported. Carmen asks Larissa to leave by the end of the weekend.

“So now I’m going to have to figure out what I’m going to do,” Larissa says in a confessional. “I didn’t come to America to be homeless. F**k my life.”

Previews

Elizabeth’s family arrives in Moldova, Paul and Karine move into an apartment, and Asuelu finally apologizes to Kalani. Larissa also finds out that Eric was texting another girl behind her back, while Angela prepares to see Michael’s mother.

Finally, Debbie meets Jess’ family and inevitably butts heads with them. It’s all next week!

90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC