’90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days’: Emotional Blackmail (RECAP)

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Spoiler Alert

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 4, Episode 7 of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days.]

From Usman and Erika both saying their partners are too controlling to Darcey’s tearful confrontation with Tom, and Williams literally blackmailing Yolanda, this week it’s all about who has the upper hand. Let’s get into the power dynamics of these tumultuous couples.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Usman apparently leaves Lisa alone in their hotel room as he says goodbye to his friend who drove them back. “He’s M.I.A. right now and he’s not responding to my texts,” Lisa tells the camera after Usman is gone for over 30 minutes. “I feel very alone.” Usman eventually returns, and Lisa chastises him for being gone so long.

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“It is not good for me to be saying sorry to you morning, afternoon, and night. You are not a god,” Usman fires back, saying he feels like he lives in a prison. “If this is how you want me to be, I think it’s better we just [go separate ways].”

A Second Chance at Seduction

Ed revels in his “second chance” with Rosemarie, and pampers her with a mini spa day in their hotel room. However Ed still has not yet had his first kiss with Rosemarie. “I haven’t quite gotten a temperature on her yet, so I want to show her how romantic I can be,” Ed explains.

He pours a glass of champagne, gives a toast to his “queen,” and begins to massage Rosemarie’s feet with oil. Rosemarie does not seem as sensually relaxed as Ed was hoping. He asks to kiss her, and she agrees first just for the forehead and then for a quick peck on the lips.

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“Kissing Rose felt like heaven. I’ve dreamt about this night for three months,” Ed gushes in a confessional. Well, heaven was definitely short and sweet, it seems.

“Stop the Car!”

Geoffrey and Varya fly to Siberia to meet Varya’s family. Although Geoffrey was also too preoccupied with broadcasting that they “joined the mile high club” to remember to bring a present for Varya’s mom.

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So Geoffrey requests to pull over on the side of the road to pick flowers along the freeway. Varya is worried about her mom accepting Geoffrey, and says she would “never marry a someone my family does not like.”

Debating Darcey

And finally we’re back to the main attraction: Darcey and Tom’s showdown. The stunning view from the William Vale in Brooklyn perfectly frames their fashionable confrontation, as Darcey flips her hair in annoyance with Tom’s self-described James Bond-like tendencies.

“I have feelings for her romantically, but we have issues and problems that we need to work out. I hope she can attack the problems rather than the person,” Tom tentatively tells the camera.

Tom somewhat admits that simply texting Darcey wasn’t enough for her birthday, and Darcey coldly counters that she just must not fit into his schedule.

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“What actually happened to us?” Tom asks Darcey. She replies that Tom is the one who has been distant, to which Tom says he never wanted to hurt her. Yet Tom admits that he finds Darcey self-centered during their conversations, and that she hasn’t been there for him.

“I think you’re trying to cover up something. Isn’t there something you have to tell me?” Darcey bluntly says, obviously wondering about his photos with the mystery woman.

Getting It Off Their Chest

Erika surprises Stephanie with a visit to The Studio, a place where they can make molds of each others’ breasts. “I think this is the perfect date for us because online Steph presents herself as someone who would love something like this, something fun and silly that we can do to kind of loosen up,” Erika says to the camera.

Stephanie unfortunately has the opposite reaction. “I feel like this is a really strange idea. I don’t know what she’s trying to communicate to me,” Stephanie admits in a confessional.

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“Do you like it? Is it a sexy date?” Erika asks Stephanie as she plasters Erika’s chest while still fully clothed. Stephanie just says it was unexpected.

Stephanie eventually also gets her own mold, but privately says to the camera that she wishes it was instead one-on-one and not in a group setting. Plus it would have been nice if Erika asked her first.

Another woman at the event inquires if either of them have considered moving, and Stephanie says that one of them will have to—implying that it would be Erika—if the relationship is going to continue.

“I’m feeling kind of pressured by Steph…and we’re only on date two,” Erika tells the camera, citing that Stephanie’s hesitation to be intimate further confuses her.

Prank Caller

Yolanda STILL is trying to fly to England to see online boyfriend Williams, even after his Instagram account was completely changed. Yolanda’s daughter Karra says that she’s convinced Williams is catfishing Yolanda, and the two set out to research Williams’ new name on Instagram. Karra believes that Williams’ true identity is actually that of a man in Nigeria, potentially part of a student organization there.

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“It just doesn’t make any sense. Williams is from England. I just need to know what is going on,” Yolanda says. She calls the new number that he posted in his Instagram bio (why she didn’t think to do this earlier is even more of a surprise) and the recipient immediately hangs up.

Don’t Sugarcoat It

Avery and Ash head to a tropical getaway in Australia for a long weekend. While on the coastline, Ash reassures Avery that his brother is supportive of their relationship, but Avery isn’t convinced. “I feel like you’re coming at me with a really rehearsed thing,” Avery says, asking Ash specifically not to “sugarcoat” the custody situation with Ash’s son Taj. “Why can’t you be honest with me about sensitive subjects?”

Ash responds that he’s worried if he shows signs of potential struggles in their relationship, then Avery will just give up. Yet Ash still doesn’t tell Avery the truth about Taj.

Shave It Off

Ed and Rosemarie apparently were intimate during the night, but they both have conflicting stories the next day. In the morning, Rosemarie refuses to kiss Ed, saying she doesn’t like his beard. Ed in turn asks Rosemarie to shave her legs in a fair shave trade.

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“I don’t like leg hair. It’s gross,” Ed tells the camera. He boasts multiple times that their night together was “awesome” though.

The couple travels to meet Rosemarie’s family, and Ed has reservations about seeing Rosemarie’s sister Maria after she asked him for money. Later, following their arrival in Rosemarie’s hometown, Ed has second thoughts about staying there. “This is poverty. This is like a third world country,” Ed stresses.

Come Together

Usman is conflicted over his feelings for Lisa and his goal of moving to the U.S. “I have a fantastic opportunity to go to the United States and be an international musician that I dream to be,” Usman tells the camera. “But I’m worried I’m sacrificing too much to achieve this dream.”

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Basically, Usman can’t get past Lisa’s “bossiness.” Usman confront Lisa about his concerns if he moves to America and is alone in a foreign country. “This is just too much. This trip has been very stressful,” Lisa says, citing jet lag and the travel conditions.

The two reconcile and decide to move forward, despite their communication issues.

Meeting Mother

Geoffrey meets Varya’s mother, and they all make traditional Siberian food together. Her mom tells the camera that regardless of how nice Geoffrey may seem, she’s worried about Varya moving to the U.S. “If you’re over there, I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” Varya’s mother tells her.

“Your daughter already lives a five-hour plane flight away from you,” Geoffrey says back, to which Varya’s mother counters that she doesn’t know Geoffrey and is unsure if she can trust him.

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Geoffrey tells the camera part of his past: he is an ex-convict and was in prison for dealing drugs. Yet we all know there is still even more that Geoffrey is holding back. Let’s just call it mother’s intuition.

Casual Blackmail

Williams continues to ghost Yolanda, but she remains “willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“I want to ask him the big question: is he Nigerian?” Yolanda says as she literally texts him “are you Nigerian…baby?”

A few days later, Yolanda receives an email from a stranger saying that they will release intimate photos of her unless she pays them. They also threaten to harm her at her home. OK, so this is actual blackmail.

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Yolanda insists that the photos are the same ones that she had sent to Williams, solidifying that he is in fact scamming her. “It’s very frightening that a total stranger has my personal pictures,” Yolanda tells the camera. It doesn’t really seem like a stranger, Yolanda. This is obviously Williams.

“This cannot be Williams. He has never talked to me in this tone,” Yolanda insists, still defending him and saying that he must have been hacked. This is not some Girl With the Dragon Tattoo mastermind, but Yolanda seems to be blinded by love.

Not Your Princess

Stephanie treats Erika to a fancy date night, complete with a tiara. Erika though is still worried about how Stephanie’s online personality hasn’t really matched up with her reality.

“To be honest I thought you would be a little bit different but I’m here to reassure you that my feelings are really strong,” Erika tells Stephanie.

To respond, Stephanie asks Erika about a dating app on her phone, and wants to know if she had been with anyone else while they were talking. Erika says she has been faithful, but Stephanie still wants to know why the app is even there then.

“I still have one of the dating apps because there is a business networking side of that app,” Erika tells her. Stephanie asks if she would be willing to delete the app regardless.

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“If you don’t have faith in me then how is this going to work?” Erika admits, saying privately that she thinks Stephanie doesn’t trust her and is going about this in the wrong way.

Erika deletes it in front of Stephanie, and calls her out for suddenly making their big romantic date now incredibly awkward. “Everything makes you uncomfortable!” Erika says almost through tears. “Buying me presents doesn’t mean that you get to control me.”

Stephanie explodes into tearful mess and states that their date is over, literally before it had really begun. “You can seriously f**k off, just go,” Stephanie sputters at Erika. Both are in tears, and an obviously fragile Stephanie tells the camera she just wants to go home.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Ed meets Rosemarie’s family over dinner. He asks Rosemarie’s father specifically if he’s ok with Ed dating Rosemarie given the fact that he’s one year older than the dad. But Ed is more concerned with being Rosemarie’s actual “meal ticket” after seeing her home.

Tom the Terrible

Now back to the drama of Darcey and Tom. Darcey says that she knows about his “new girl.”

“The person you are talking about is from three weeks ago,” Tom matter-of-factly says.

“So you wanted to say it to my face when I already knew?” Darcey chuckles defensively.

“While Darcey and I have been spending time apart, I’ve actually met someone,” Tom tells the camera. “She’s called Shannon. Three weeks ago I was in Milan for Fashion Week, as was she. We shared a drink, we shared the evening together. I haven’t told Darcey that I’ve met someone else because I feel confused about a few things.”

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Yet Tom was sure enough of those things to post photos of him and Shannon on his Instagram page. In this case, Darcey’s right. He should have broken it off officially before pursuing Shannon.

“I met someone that loves me the way I wanted to be loved,” Tom tells Darcey as her lips quiver. So this wasn’t a one-night stand with Shannon. He tells Darcey that she was so preoccupied that she didn’t realize that she had Tom “in her hands” and that it’s Darcey’s fault he left her.

“It was so hard for me to listen to the whole Jesse thing all the time,” Tom understandably tells her. “And I kind of felt jealous because I wish that I loved you the way he did, because your notion of love is not me. You had it with him, and I love you in a different way. I love you like you are my sister.”

Ouch. That is the exact opposite of what any women who has been intimate with someone wants to hear.

“He’s deflecting, he’s gaslighting the situation to make himself feel better,” Darcey says in a confessional. Tom asks to stay friends and Darcey says she wants to walk away completely for a fresh start.

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“I don’t want anything to do with you. You are nothing to me right now,” Darcey concludes. Hold for applause.

And then Tom, in a childish attempt at the last word, opts to insult Darcey as she leaves: “Did you put weight on?”

Tom has officially solidified his status as one of the most hated men in the U.K. this week.

“He’s doing a Jesse. He’s doing it to make himself feel better,” Darcey vents as gets into a car. She’s right but one has to ask: why are you seeking out these type of men?

“No man will ever take advantage of me again,” Darcey says firmly through tears.


Next week, Rosemarie’s dad insists on sleeping in the same room as Ed and Rosemarie, while Avery keeps asking to meet Ash’s son, Taj. Plus, we pick up again with David’s quest to find Lana, and Lisa finally meets Usman’s mother. Erika confronts Stephanie about her control issues, while Geoffrey tells Varya at least part of his criminal history. And, of course, Darcey is in her hotel room, still crying over whether she’ll be alone forever.

Until next time!