’90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days’: The Long Goodbye (RECAP)

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Spoiler Alert

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 4, Episode 12 of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days.]

Everything falls apart with the couples this week, and their goodbyes are as drawn out as David’s saga with Lana. From Rosemarie standing her ground to Varya questioning her future, scorned lovers fly, cry, and lie to escape their exes. David just might be the only one still holding out hope.

No, Thanks

Well we didn’t see that one coming. Varya tells Geoffrey that she can’t accept his proposal because she feels they are moving too fast. “Maybe not now,” she tells him. “I’m not ready to leave everything here” … even though the first half of the season she was saying how eager she was to move to the U.S.

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Varya also says that she feels “embarrassed” and bad for Geoffrey in a confessional: “I love him but I’m not sure I can trust him in everything. … I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to say yes and change my mind.”

He cries that “never in a million years” would he expect her to turn him down. Then they both speculate over soulmates, destiny, and other elusive concepts that are just tangential to the real issue at hand: Geoffrey’s ongoing criminal cases.

Time Out

Ash and his scarf stare in disbelief at Avery, who uncomfortably shifts her gaze over him as though witnessing one of her children’s tantrums. He flutters around her, straddling between saying how “heartless” she is but then begging her for attention and love.

“No matter how much he wants to say ‘I love you, I want to work through things,’ he was extremely worked up and childish when he walked in, and I don’t want that at all in partner,” Avery comments.

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After a strained agreement to communicate more with one another, the couple heads to meet Ash’s ex-wife Sian and their son Taj. Apparently a two-hour drive has to be broken up by staying at a hotel, and Avery says she prefers to stay in her own room. Ash calls her “selfish” and resumes his pouting.

Shark Bait and Switch

The day after Erika introduced Stephanie to her parents, Stephanie is inspired to also come out to her own mom. “Maybe this is the right moment, with my girlfriend next to me and my mom on another continent,” she explains. She FaceTimes her mother while Erika holds her hand.

Stephanie tells her mom that she has a “confession to make” but then just says that she went cage-diving with sharks. “I can’t do it right now. It just doesn’t feel right through a computer screen…I owe it to her to do it in person,” Stephanie concludes. Erika seems somewhat disappointed, and Stephanie explains that she needs to find the right time to come out.

Artificial Intelligence

Back to David’s poor decision-making: he returns to the airport to fly again to Ukraine — for the second time in a matter of weeks and the fifth time in attempt to meet his digital love. The apparent A.I. named Lana has moved in with her sister in Kiev and told David that she got “cold feet” the last time he visited. “We’ve spent such a long time discussing our future. I’m going to do everything I can to make that future a reality,” he says.

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David steps into one type of reality with an ankle-length leather trench coat, borrowed from the set of The Matrix. Lana messages him that she is too busy attending her nephew’s hockey games so she can’t meet with him until after the weekend. “She’s literally like no farther than 10 miles away… If Lana doesn’t show up to meet me on Monday, I have to put my foot down at some point and say ‘this is it,'” David sternly says.

The Big Breakup

After Ed told Rosemarie that he didn’t want to have more children, she tells him that she’s “done” with their relationship. She accurately points out that he didn’t put in any effort to get to know her son Prince and he doesn’t deserve her. “This is a bit of shock to me. I’m very shocked,” Ed responds. “I fell in love with you on Facebook, and I came here with love in my heart.” He tells her that he had planned to propose back in Manila.

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“Your behavior is not good. I always try to understand you … it’s too much,” Rosemarie states, saying that he’s lied to her too many times. “I want to end this relationship. I don’t want to waste my time with a person who doesn’t appreciate me.”

Rosemarie expects both her family and her son to be disappointed with her decision to break it off with Ed. She heads to the airport to fly back home. “I meet my true king in the future,” she says as she departs.

Never Going Back

Varya and Geoffrey fly from Siberia to Moscow, but he is still reeling from his failed proposal. Twelve hours later, they head back to the airport for Geoffrey to travel back to the U.S. On the way Varya points out a bar and says that should go next time he’s in Russia. “Why would I come here again?” he wonders aloud.

Varya asks if Geoffrey will try to find another girlfriend when he gets back to America. “Right now I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again,” she cryptically comments.

Ukraine Confidential

David meets up with Sergey, the private investigator that he had previously hired to track down Lana. You know, the one he accused of conspiring against him last episode. Sergey reminds David that Lana has various dating profiles on multiple websites and warns him that there very well could be eight other men just like him. “He’s not leaving any room for a positive outcome from this girl,” David relays to the hired translator.

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“The lady appears to be a scammer,” Sergey says, but David just argues that that is his opinion.

“You, sir, are fired,” David matter-of-factly states in a GIF-worthy reaction before re-cloaking himself in his own faux hardboiled detective leather trench coat. “The heart wants what the heart wants. I’m going to give Lana every chance that I can.”

Wine Time

Ash introduces Avery to his ex-wife Sian and mini-me son Taj. After the usual pleasantries (including a cat eating cats “cat-abolism” joke), Sian and Avery head to a wine bar to get to know one another better.

Sian confirms that what broke up her marriage with Ash was his inability to convey his real emotions. Avery asks when they exactly got divorced, and Sian says a year ago, not a decade ago, as Avery was led by Ash to believe. They were separated for years prior to their divorce, but regardless, Ash and Sian were still married up until only a few months before he began dating Avery.

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She also asks Sian about her feelings regarding Ash potentially moving to America with Taj. “Taj is my world, I cannot even fathom being in a different country … I just can’t,” Sian says, explaining that she told Ash he should be the one commuting back and forth from the U.S. to Australia, not Taj. Avery empathizes, being a mom herself, but now has to rethink her plans to be with Ash.

Love Actually

Geoffrey pleads with Varya one last time before entering the airport. “I don’t feel like this is the end,” she reassures him, but he cannot get past the fact that he’s leaving Russia.

“I’m going to live my life apart from you,” Geoffrey says. “Thanks for the adventure and good luck.” Was that a real break up, or just a dramatic goodbye?

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Varya runs into the airport, crying, and kisses him. Geoffrey just says that they had their “chance” and he needs someone to love him unconditionally. “You second guess the situation. I don’t know what you expect me to do or expect me say. … I’m hurt,” he tells her. “I’m going home, OK? So thank you for everything.”

Ex Marks the Spot

Stephanie only has two days left with Erika in Australia, and the couple reflects on the past few weeks together. Erika tells her that she doesn’t want to be “kept a secret” and she wonders if Stephanie will ever be ready to open up about their relationship to her mom. “It scares me a little bit that I might just always be ‘the friend,'” Erika tells Stephanie.

“I need time. At the end of the day I know I have to do it, but it’s going to happen on my own terms when I’m ready,” Stephanie responds. Erika explains that she had a past decade-long on-and-off relationship where a girlfriend lied about who Erika was, and it hurt her deeply. Stephanie of course is more concerned about the fact that Erika is talking about an ex rather than why Erika brought her up in the first place.

“She’s the reason why you are now pressuring me to come out to my mom!” Stephanie yells.

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“Your first reaction is to raise your voice at me … as soon as I have a problem you just do this,” a vulnerable Erika tears up. Stephanie throws a dish and storms off yet again, leaving Erika crying in bed.

“To just have this bombshell be dropped on me right before I leave to go back home … it’s just a lot for me to process,” Stephanie tells the camera, not realizing her sentence is riddled with self-centeredness: “I” and “me” and no mention of Erika at all.

“This whole trip has been about Steph’s past and the things that have traumatized her, and the second that I bring up something that’s traumatic for me and explain to her why something that she’s doing is traumatic for me, she yells at me and then says she’s not yelling at me. It’s just awful,” Erika explains. Can we just hug her through the TV?

Stephanie returns to their hotel room and apologizes for yelling but says she didn’t even realize she was doing it and she thinks she’s in a “manic state right now.” Stephanie just doubles down in her confessional, explaining that she regrets breaking the bowl but she feels “completely betrayed” by Erika. How, again?

“I have no idea how you expect me to be honest with you if you’re just going to use it against me,” Erika rightfully states. “Why are you playing with my heart just because you can’t figure your own out?”

“That’s it. We’re done,” Stephanie breaks up with Erika. She leaves Stephanie alone in the hotel and drives back to her parents’ house.

Looking Good, David

David coifs his hair, spritzes on what we can only hope is cologne, and prepares to hug Lana for the first time. He even irons his shirt and muses over how she promised she would steam his clothes once they move in together. In David’s most romantic move thus far, he brings amazingly delicious See’s Candies wrapped in a Victoria’s Secret bag for his meeting with Lana. “Looking good,” he tells himself in the mirror before heading out the door.

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Lana is seven minutes late before David’s crumpled face erupts into an elated smile, and it seems like we might finally catch a glimpse of Lana in the next episode.


Varya apparently has been texting Geoffrey nonstop, but he wants to “put that whole situation” behind him. It looks like he is actually going on a date with a new potential girlfriend too. Erika agrees to meet with Stephanie to discuss things, and Yolanda is still pining over Williams.

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Darcey does a “miracle mask” with her daughters, and Avery second guesses if she should file the K-1 visa for Ash. Also, Ed realizes that Rosemarie has already left, and Lisa is shown leaving Usman saying she doesn’t need his “whores.”

See you next week, 90 Day fans!

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC