’90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days’: Let Him Explain (RECAP)

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Spoiler Alert

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 4, Episode 10 of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days.]

It’s all about “masculine energy” this week, thanks to Ash’s insightful seminar. From romantic gestures like Ed telling Rosemarie her breath stinks to Tom penning passive aggressive letters to Darcey, the 90 Day men sure know how to woo a lady. We just might need Ash’s Venn diagram to explain it.

Meanwhile, is it just us or is Stephanie and Erika the most in love couple this season? Let’s not consult Ash on that one.

Desperately Seeking Lana

Behind the cliffhanger apartment door is a kind yet confused older Ukrainian gentleman who has no idea who Lana is. David desperately shows him a photo but to no avail. This man has lived in the building for 25 years, and Lana has never been a tenant.

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“Seven years and just one lie after the other. I don’t know what she’s doing,” David tells the camera. “I don’t know that there’s anything left to say. The whole thing has been a huge disappointment….I’m done.”

Brush It Off

Ed and Rosemarie leave her village after only being there for a day. She says bye to her son Prince and tells him to also hug “daddy” Ed. They fly to an island getaway, marking her first time on an airplane.

Once at the resort, Ed gifts Rosemarie with a bikini and lingerie. He has to explain to her what both are. “Rose and I have only made love once so being intimate is still quite new for us. But all in all I think Rose and I have good chemistry…I think now is the time to give her her lingerie,” he tells the camera.

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In a similar romantic vein, Ed gives her a toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash. Rosemarie explains her bad breath is due to a stomach ulcer and she brushes her teeth every day already. “I think Ed is a rude person,” she states. She calls him ugly as she heads into the bathroom.

All the Single Ladies

Avery only has one week left in Australia to decide if Ash is trustworthy. “She may feel intimidated or threatened by [my clients] but it is not fair. I feel she is not trusting which is very destructive in a relationship,” he tells the camera, only a day after telling Avery that he in fact considers himself single.

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Ash invites Avery to sit in on his seminar to prove that his interactions with single women are strictly professional. “If Ash has been lying to me about his relationship with these women, he can’t hide that tomorrow because his actions are going to be on full display,” she asserts.

Hear Me Roar

Darcey finishes unpacking from her one night in New York. “I’m just emotionally drained,” she tells the camera. “But moving on for me feels really empowering.”

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Meanwhile back in the Big Apple, Tom announces that he’s heading to Connecticut. He wrote a letter to Darcey and plans to presumably hand-deliver it. “I only have a short window of time left in New York and I want to see if I can make things better with Darcey,” he explains, hoping to apologize to her face-to-face since he’s blocked on all her accounts. “I still love Darcey a lot and she needs to hear what I have to say to her.”

Isn’t that what their lunch was for? Tom also talks about how this might start their “happily ever after” before comparing Darcey to a lion in a zoo. Classy as always.

Forgive and Move On

Stephanie meets with Erika at botanical gardens to discuss what happened at the party the night before. “I really hope we can work this out and that she doesn’t break up with me,” Stephanie tentatively confesses.

Erika tells Stephanie that she’s exhausted from talking in circles with her. “I’m sorry,” Stephanie shrugs before doubling down on her mission to inspect Erika’s friendships at the party. Erika points out that all of Stephanie’s causes for concern were things that she was aware of before she came to Australia.

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“At this point, I’m upset and frustrated and the issues that have arisen have all been from insecurities she has that she didn’t tell me about,” Erika states. Stephanie just calls herself a “screwed up” person since she’s “imperfect.” She apologizes again and says that she loves her. Erika compassionately agrees to have a clean slate moving forward, giving Stephanie yet another chance.

Back to the Future

There is more talk of Geoffrey’s past and how that will affect Varya’s future. It all seems pretty clear but they discuss it yet again, plus she hasn’t told him all of the things her mother had said in Russian. “I want to be confident in my future,” Varya says, worried that her mom will never accept him as a potential son-in-law.

Bless This Mess

Lisa and Usman try one more time to receive his mother’s blessing before leaving. “I want Mommy to understand that you are coming to America to be with me as my husband and that she needs to understand that the jobs in America are much stronger for you. And let her know that you are going to return to Nigeria. We just have to get you to the States to start your life,” Lisa prompts Usman.

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He tells his mother that he will visit Nigeria once a year if she gives her blessing for him to leave. Finally, she agrees. Lisa is ecstatic but Usman still has reservations about their marriage.

Catching a Catfish

It’s been a week since Yolanda has last heard from Williams. Recently, she was contacted by a woman speaking on his behalf, claiming to be a friend of his and that Williams misses Yolanda and lost his Instagram data. “So it’s kind of confirming to me that he’s not a scam,” lost cause Yolanda quivers.

Her son calls her naive and Karra echoes the sentiment. It’s time for them to get to the bottom of what actually is going on. “Williams is not real and a huge scammer,” Yolanda’s daughter exclaims.

Mansplain It to Me

Ash begins his seminar on how women can identify their “Mr. Right.” He starts schmoozing with beautiful women while Avery uncomfortably looks on. “Seminars are great because you’re touching more people,” he explains, no doubt later regretting his word choice. Ash then goes on to lecture about how male brains are different than female minds, which Avery somewhat accurately deems as sexist. His seminar goes into fishing, “nothing boxes,” and how women are shopping, basically.

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“Do you recognize that we all have both inside of us, like we are both masculine and feminine?” an audience member asks. Later she says that he is “quite out of his depth, talking to us as if we don’t understand the brain of the man.”

Ash’s response: men are more logical. Well his seminar sure isn’t.

Poolside Proposal?

After Rosemarie leaves the metaphorical dentist’s chair, she and Ed head to the beach for a boat tour. The couple visits a national park and snaps photos with monkeys. Ed quickly becomes terrified after one chases him. “These aren’t the cute monkeys I was expecting,” he stresses. “I don’t like the monkeys anymore….I want to go back to the hotel.”

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Later Rosemarie and Ed dine poolside at the resort. Rosemarie bonds with Ed and says she hopes he proposes that night, which is very fast given all of their miscommunication. He also wants to confirm Rosemarie wasn’t involved in her sister Maria asking him for money. He confronts her, but only her nervously shaking legs are visible.

P.S. I Still Hate You

“Are you kidding me right now?” Stacey immediately lets Tom know he’s not welcome at her and Darcey’s home. He apologizes to Darcey and acknowledges that he disrespected her.

“I am shocked that Tom showed up. I completely blocked him out of my life,” Darcey speaks on the last 24 hours. “I don’t need any fake apology.” Tom assures her that he never intended to hurt her. Darcey bluntly says that she was in love with him but thank you, next.

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“I wanted to tell you how I felt and I never seem to get the chance because I can’t find the words,” he tells her as he hands her the letter. “Take it.”

“There’s nothing in there that’s going to convince me he ever cared…At some point you have to say no,” Darcey states. She turns down the note that he drove to deliver, but he tucks it under her windshield wiper on her car.

“Same old Darcey, just a different day,” Tom smugly mutters as he leaves.

Sealed With a Kiss

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Erika takes Stephanie to meet a boomerang maker. If you throw it with care, it will come back to you. Almost seems like a metaphor for love, imagine that! Stephanie also kisses Erika on the cheek and says in a confessional they both need to come out to their families in order to move their relationship forward.

Convincing Camp

The obsession with Geoffrey’s drug dealing past continues. “I’m willing to give him a last chance but right now it’s hard for me to see a future with Geoffrey,” Varya tells the camera.

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They go to meet with his Russian friend in the woods to camp. His friend tries to reassure Varya that Geoffrey is worth it to get to America. She believes that Geoffrey is her “destiny,” so it seems like their relationship will survive another day.

Opposites Attract

Ash’s male power energy seminar is still going strong. “I’m starting to worry that he actually believes some of things he’s saying right now,” Avery tells the camera as he explains that women belong at home like in their grandparents’ era. “As the women are starting to challenge him, he’s going in defense mode. It’s alarming he’s not backing down.” It’s almost like a snake oil salesman might be a snake himself!

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“I honestly heard nothing that Ash said that was useful for a modern woman,” one of the seminar participants vents. At least Avery’s fears that Ash is attracting women in his seminars might be thwarted: the audience seems to despise him.

“This is the first time I’m literally rethinking who this guy is,” Avery concludes.

Who’s The Boss?

Speaking of gender roles, Lisa and Usman argue over her power in the relationship. Although she calls him her “best friend” and they plan to wed in three days, he voices his issues with her jealousy. “Don’t think you’re going to be a leader,” he tells her, adding she tries to control him like a child. “You can only advise me.”

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Lisa walks away as Usman speculates that if they get married, he might be “unhappy forever.”

A Truly Hopeless Romantic

“I really really thought she was going to be there,” David laments as he packs to go to the airport. “She hurt me….What signs was I ignoring?” Too many to count, David. Anyone want to interject while he’s at the airport and direct him instead to Las Vegas to be with Yolanda?

David even admits that if Lana messages him, he’ll be “hooked again.” So there really is no reaching this guy it seems.

Shark Tank

Stephanie and Erika go on a diving expedition, and Stephanie finds the perfect moment to announce that she’s afraid of boats and open ocean. Umm, did Erika just say shark cage diving? “Sharks are one of my top 10 fears but things are back on track with me and Erika so I want to show her that we can have fun together,” Stephanie says in a confessional.

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The couple hold hands while underwater, and Erika tells her that she does see them going the distance together. Yet the question is still whether or not to share their relationship with their respective families. “I think it’s the right time to tell them,” Erika shares, wanting to introduce her parents to Stephanie before she leaves. Stephanie is worried that if she opens up, her mother won’t speak to her.

Sister Sister

Ed asks Rosemarie if she knew anything about her sister Maria asking him for money. “Do you think I not love you because I love your money?” Rosemarie asks. He pushes further and wants to know why Maria said not to tell Rosemarie about her request. “I’m hurt because I think you not see my love,” she counters, saying she wants to hear her sister’s side of the story.

Ed believes her but still doesn’t trust Maria. Rosemarie promises that she’ll talk to her sister about it, and he requests that they speak to her together. She agrees and slips in that she hopes to have another child with Ed. He doesn’t tell her that he’s hoping to get a vasectomy, and they cheers to love.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Tom is still huffing and puffing in his car ride back to New York. “I actually found some happiness with Shannon. God knows after putting up with Darcey I deserve it,” he smiles. OK, Tom, whatever makes you happy. “When she wakes up as a 55 year old woman alone, she’s only got herself to blame.” Ouch.

Back in Connecticut, Stacey consoles Darcey, who accurately says that Tom always wants the last word. She asks Stacey to rip the letter up and throw it away.

The Waiting Game

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Yolanda is still waiting for a response from Williams’ friend. She keeps repeating that her children don’t know Williams like she does, forgetting that she also doesn’t know Williams at all. Karra asks if Yolanda knows how to reverse image search, and they investigate Williams’ photos. “Oh my gosh!” Yolanda exclaims at the results.

Men Are From Mars

Avery asks how Ash thinks his seminar went. “I think people actually did not understand what I was trying to do or say,” he responds. She has to explain to him why feminine and masculine energies are more complex than just gender roles, and he tells her that she’s wrong.

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“When you point fingers and say ‘this is how it is,’ a person will fight you,” Avery says. Ash in turn calls her patronizing which is laughable. He then brings up female hormones and that men are stronger to protect women.

“The thing is, I was not wrong,” he tells the camera. “She’s not hearing me out. Everything is my fault now. I don’t like it.” He says he’s “done” and walks away. Maybe his masculine prideful energy got the better of him.


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Later we see Ed telling Rosemarie that he doesn’t want more kids, Erika introducing Stephanie to her parents, and Darcey sending Tom’s key back. Also, Ash tells Avery he feels attacked, while David hires a private investigator to find out the truth about Lana. And Usman and Lisa apparently cannot get married? Finally we see the results of the reverse image search on Williams, and Geoffrey might propose to Varya.

Lots to look forward to!

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC