’90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days’: Is It Worth It? (RECAP)

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Spoiler Alert

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 4, Episode 9 of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days.]

This week tests every couple and ultimately asks if love is worth so much heartache. From Yolanda and David’s catfish chases to Stephanie’s tantrums and Ash calling himself single, let’s see who gives in or gives up on love. We all know Darcey sure won’t.

Tea & Sympathy

After finally telling Varya about his prison past, Geoffrey spent the night alone at a hotel. She meets him for tea the following day. “I’m here and I’m mad,” she tells him.

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Geoffrey explains that he only opened up about his history because he feels like they’re getting closer. “I regret not telling you but I regret my past as well,” he says. Yet Varya is worried about how his past will affect her future. He tries to convince her that his past hasn’t even affected his own future and after prison he’s been relatively successful, received both college and graduate degrees, and is looking ahead.

“I’m asking you with everything that I am to please, please forgive me,” Geoffrey begs her. She agrees and says she believes he is honest but wants him to tell her family the truth.

A Bouquet of Doubt

Stephanie and Erika have still been clashing over their personalities and trust issues. “I don’t trust her enough to want to have sex with her,” Stephanie tells the camera. “I’m beginning to see that this is something about us that is kind of incompatible.”

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Erika brings Stephanie flowers as a “peace offering” to dissipate the tension. She tells Stephanie that she doesn’t know what she’s doing to make her uncomfortable and why there is even a trust issue to begin with. Stephanie explains that her past history with exes has affected her confidence in romantic relationships.

“There are certain things about your lifestyle that really scare me, like the nature of some of your friendships really make me uncomfortable,” Stephanie says to Erika. “It’s because you’ve had intimate relationships with some of your friends.”

Erika suggests that if Stephanie meets her friends, it might ease her mind. “I’m going to try my best,” Stephanie snips. Erika tries to reassure her that she can trust Erika and her friends and eventually she will have to work on her jealousy problems.

Pray For a Blessing

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Usman and Lisa meet with his brother Muhammed in hopes that he can change his mother’s mind to give a blessing. “Mom doesn’t want Usman to marry Lisa because she’s an old woman, she’s not a Nigerian, she’s from the far country,” Muhammed explains. Usman stresses that he and Lisa love one another and reminds his brother America is “the number one country in the world.”

Lisa calls Usman her “destiny,” and Muhammed eventually agrees to help them convince his family. Yet Usman privately admits that this feat could be impossible.

Fizzled Out

David chats with Lana through the dating site and invites her to meet at a café in her hometown later that afternoon. She somewhat agrees, and David goes off to buy red roses and champagne. “I want it to be as romantic as possible,” he says in a confessional. “The fact that we’re about to have our first date in person is incredible.”

David is so nervous that he sweats through his shirt. He even packed an extra one knowing he would probably ruin what he was wearing out of excitement. But once again, Lana is a no-show. “I’m starting to get nervous that all of this was for nothing,” David admits. Oh, really?

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After two hours of waiting, he sadly pops the champagne for himself and leaves the dozen red roses at the table as he heads back to the hotel empty-handed.

Diving In

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Ash and Avery go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, but she is distracted about how to confront him about his business. She asks him what his typical client is like, and he explains that he works mostly with successful women who don’t have time for men outside of their work.

“This morning, Ash was showing me something in his phone and I saw 68 text messages and they all appear to be from different women. It’s alarming because I have no way of knowing who’s a client and who isn’t,” Avery tells the camera. “I don’t know if I can date a relationship coach if they’re being accessible to women all the time.”

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Ash fires back that it’s not her place to tell him that, which Avery says is unfair. “Baby, I myself am gradually understanding what works best for me,” he counters. “I’m single right now.” Wait, what?! She understandably does not take it well.

Sexting Gone Wrong

Yolanda is adamant that Williams was hacked, which to her explains his changed Instagram page and the threatening email. She confides in her daughter Karra, who seems to be the only voice of reason in her life. Karra tells Yolanda that Williams most likely won’t contact her again and it’s obvious he was a catfish.

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Yolanda then mentions the blackmail and awkwardly has to admit to Karra that she was sending nudes to Williams. “Someone who hacked his account must have gotten a hold of my address…I’m still in love with him,” Yolanda says. Karra scolds her for giving out her address, but Yolanda says it was for Williams to send flowers, which obviously never happened.

“When a scammer gets caught, personalities change,” Karra quips, convinced that Williams is the one who sent the email.

“She doesn’t know Williams like I know him. Williams will have an explanation for what’s going on,” Yolanda tells the camera, in full on denial. So this is what happens when you sext a ghost.

“I Don’t Give Up On Love”

Darcey blocked Tom on her phone and all social media accounts. “Wish I never met him,” she mutters in the limo back to Connecticut.

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Twin sister Stacey comforts Darcey over lunch. “I really feel deep down inside that he felt guilty for already moving on, and at the end I just didn’t want to hear it anymore,” Darcey vents. Stacey applauds her for walking away. “I gave him my heart and once again it gets broken. I don’t understand why this keeps happening,” Darcey cries, and Stacey tears up too.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. You deserve better and what’s meant to be, will be,” Stacey tells her. “I’ll always have your back and I know you’ll always have mine, no matter what anybody says.”

“I don’t give up on love,” Darcey triumphs.

It’s Not My Party, I Can Yell If I Want To

Erika and Stephanie seem to be back on track with their relationship, calling one another “beautiful” while getting ready to go to a party with Erika’s friends. However once there, some of Stephanie’s old insecurities return. “I want to have fun at this party but I can’t help but think she’s hooked up with a lot of these people,” she tells the camera.

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Erika admits to kissing her best friend Adam before but hopes that he and Stephanie will get along regardless. “It’s a weird friendship…now maybe it’s time to see what’s really going on between the both of them,” Stephanie provokes.

She bluntly asks Adam if he has “feelings in any other way other than friends,” and he says not at all. Stephanie calls herself a “prude” when watching Adam and Erika touch. He says that it’s more about a “level of respect when you sit there and go, ‘I can believe what she’s saying.'”

“I’m just sick of the jealousy thing coming up over and over again,” Erika tells her. It eventually blows up in a huge argument with Stephanie screaming in front of Erika’s friends, ultimately ruining the party.

Avery’s Intuition

Back to the boat where Ash called himself single. Apparently that was just a Freudian slip. “The fact is that I want to spend time with you,” he says. That’s all he has to say?

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“It’s like an instant punch to the gut,” Avery tells the camera, unconvinced by his apology. She thinks that he’s hiding something from her, especially when he defensively explains his business. She isn’t wrong: there is definitely something off with their relationship.

Ash believes that he’s always been honest with her and he can’t control what she thinks. “I just hope that he’s being true to me,” Avery states.

Family Matters

Varya requests Geoffrey tell both her brother and her mother about his past. He has never met her brother before, so it’ll make for an awkward first impression. “I just hope that her family will see that I’m a completely different person now,” Geoffrey tells the camera.

After the usual pleasantries, Geoffrey explains that he “got mixed up with a bad crowd” and became a drug dealer. “To hell with this fairytale,” Varya’s mother responds. “This is exactly what I was afraid of.” Her brother agrees that it’s a bad sign.

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Varya asks her family to look past Geoffrey’s history, but her mother is adamant that Varya should not continue the relationship. Geoffrey leers in the corner as her mother comforts Varya.

Rethinking Romance

Stephanie awkwardly tries to defend herself at the party after Erika walks off, but Erika’s friends are charmed by her. “Steph’s caused a lot of drama,” Adam tells the camera. Erika’s pals all rally around her and tell Stephanie that her response was not ok. Stephanie says in a confessional that she’s controlling due to her illness and tells Erika that she came to the party with a “motive.”

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“There’s no f**king winning here, I’m just going to be the bad guy,” Stephanie cries as she retreats to call her friend. “I feel confused, I feel like a monster, I don’t know. I kind of just want to remove myself from all of this and leave [Erika] alone. I kind of just want to go home now….I’m not even sure if I want this relationship anymore.”

No Changing Her Mind

Usman’s brother Muhammed didn’t succeed in getting his mother to give Lisa and Usman her blessing. As a last resort, Usman suggests that Lisa go to a mosque with his mother to prove how devoted she is to making it work.

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“I want to go to America, so I’m willing to do anything possible to make it happen,” Usman tells the camera, seemingly less concerned about actually being married to Lisa. Usman’s mother meanwhile says that she is not giving her blessing precisely because of him moving to the U.S. She thinks that America will “turn Usman into a servant.”

While inside the mosque, Lisa follows Usman’s mother in prayer. She urges Usman to ask his mother again for the blessing following the service. “She is not your mate,” Usman’s mother responds.

“I love Usman more than life. I want to marry him but it’s looking grim, and at this point, our relationship could be over,” Lisa say in dismay.

Knock, Knock

After being stood up for the millionth time, David resorts to going to Lana’s supposed address. “There’s a chance she’s going to be angry but she’s got to understand she’s left me no choice…I need her to tell me what we’re doing with this relationship,” he tells the camera.

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In a long sequence of David expressing his anxiety, the episode ends with him waiting for someone to open Lana’s door. Guess we’ll also have to wait until next week for the moment of truth.


Other than finding out if Lana is a real person, we see Ash give a relationship seminar next week, plus Varya wrestling with whether or not to trust Geoffrey. Erika and Stephanie have a heart to heart, and Ed tries to decipher his feeling for Rosemarie. Usman asks his mother once again for her blessing because third time is the charm, and Yolanda searches Williams’ photos for answers. Oh, and Tom apparently “still loves” Darcey?! He drives to her house in Connecticut, and Darcey just says “oh f**k.” Seems about right.

Until next time!

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC