Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men - CBS

CBS

Series

2003

TV14

Sitcom

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

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IMDB
7.1
Rotten Tomatoes
65%
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#6

15 Best Chuck Lorre TV Shows

#8

10 Worst Series Finales of All Time

Where to Stream

2003–2015 Series 12 Seasons288 Episodes

Upcoming TV Airings

The airings below are based on a generic national schedule. Times and dates can vary by TV provider.

Thursday, November 20

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 3 • Episode 1

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.

Thursday, November 20

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Season 3 • Episode 2

Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.

Thursday, November 20

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Season 4 • Episode 14

Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor.

Thursday, November 20

My Damn Stalker

Season 4 • Episode 15

Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London.

Thursday, November 20

Young People Have Phlegm Too

Season 4 • Episode 16

A more mature woman helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.

Thursday, November 20

I Merely Slept With a Commie

Season 4 • Episode 17

Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.

Thursday, November 20

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Season 4 • Episode 18

Alan tries to bond with Jake; Kandi's new career.

Thursday, November 20

Smooth as a Ken Doll

Season 4 • Episode 19

Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.

Thursday, November 20

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Season 4 • Episode 20

Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.

Thursday, November 20

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Season 4 • Episode 21

Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.

Friday, November 21

Another Night With Neil Diamond

Season 10 • Episode 21

Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.

Friday, November 21

Gumby With a Pokey

Season 7 • Episode 21

Alan and Jake go on a road trip; Charlie finds himself haunted by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.

Friday, November 21

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Friday, November 21

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Season 3 • Episode 3

Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.

Friday, November 21

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Season 3 • Episode 4

Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.

Friday, November 21

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Season 3 • Episode 5

Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.

Friday, November 21

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Season 3 • Episode 7

Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.

Friday, November 21

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Season 3 • Episode 8

Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.

Friday, November 21

Madame and Her Special Friend

Season 3 • Episode 9

Alan is propositioned by one of Charlie's elderly neighbors; Charlie tries to stop Jake.

Friday, November 21

Something Salted and Twisted

Season 3 • Episode 10

Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.

Friday, November 21

Santa's Village of the Damned

Season 3 • Episode 11

Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.

Saturday, November 22

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 7 • Episode 22

Charlie's license is suspended; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.

Saturday, November 22

Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Saturday, November 22

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Season 11 • Episode 19

Walden reconnects with Kate and becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets Vivian.

Saturday, November 22

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Season 11 • Episode 20

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

Saturday, November 22

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Season 11 • Episode 21

Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a trip.

Saturday, November 22

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 11 • Episode 22

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Saturday, November 22

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Season 12 • Episode 1

After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life.

Saturday, November 22

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Season 12 • Episode 2

Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a pre-nup.

Saturday, November 22

Glamping in a Yurt

Season 12 • Episode 3

Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with a social worker.

Saturday, November 22

Smooth as a Ken Doll

Season 4 • Episode 19

Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.

Saturday, November 22

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Season 4 • Episode 21

Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.

Saturday, November 22

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Season 4 • Episode 22

Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Saturday, November 22

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Season 4 • Episode 23

Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.

Saturday, November 22

Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 4 • Episode 24

Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.

Saturday, November 22

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Season 5 • Episode 1

Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.

Saturday, November 22

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Season 5 • Episode 2

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother.

Saturday, November 22

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Season 5 • Episode 3

Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.

Saturday, November 22

City of Great Racks

Season 5 • Episode 4

Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.

Saturday, November 22

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Season 5 • Episode 5

Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.

Saturday, November 22

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Season 5 • Episode 6

Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.

Sunday, November 23

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Sunday, November 23

Tight's Good

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Sunday, November 23

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Sunday, November 23

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Sunday, November 23

If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 • Episode 18

Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.

Sunday, November 23

Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season 5 • Episode 19

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.

Sunday, November 23

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 6 • Episode 1

Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.

Sunday, November 23

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Season 6 • Episode 3

Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.

Sunday, November 23

The Flavin' and the Mavin

Season 6 • Episode 4

Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.

Sunday, November 23

A Jock Strap in Hell

Season 6 • Episode 5

The guys run into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie.

Sunday, November 23

It's Always Nazi Week

Season 6 • Episode 6

When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.

Sunday, November 23

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Season 6 • Episode 7

Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.

Sunday, November 23

Pinocchio's Mouth

Season 6 • Episode 8

Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.

Sunday, November 23

The Mooch at the Boo

Season 6 • Episode 9

Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter.

Sunday, November 23

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Season 6 • Episode 10

When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.

Sunday, November 23

The Devil's Lube

Season 6 • Episode 11

When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.

Sunday, November 23

Thank God for Scoliosis

Season 6 • Episode 12

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.

Monday, November 24

Just Like Buffalo

Season 1 • Episode 23

Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Monday, November 24

Can You Feel My Finger?

Season 1 • Episode 24

A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.

Monday, November 24

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Season 12 • Episode 4

A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.

Monday, November 24

That Special Tug

Season 3 • Episode 12

Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.

Monday, November 24

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Season 3 • Episode 13

Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.

Monday, November 24

My Tongue Is Meat

Season 3 • Episode 15

Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.

Monday, November 24

Ergo, the Booty Call

Season 3 • Episode 16

Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.

Monday, November 24

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Season 3 • Episode 17

Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.

Monday, November 24

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Season 3 • Episode 18

Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend.

Monday, November 24

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Season 3 • Episode 19

Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell.

Monday, November 24

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Season 3 • Episode 20

Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.

Tuesday, November 25

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Season 8 • Episode 1

Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom.

Tuesday, November 25

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Season 5 • Episode 10

Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.

Tuesday, November 25

And the Plot Moistens

Season 3 • Episode 21

Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.

Tuesday, November 25

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

Season 3 • Episode 22

Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.

Tuesday, November 25

Arguments for the Quickie

Season 3 • Episode 23

Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.

Tuesday, November 25

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Season 3 • Episode 24

Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.

Tuesday, November 25

Working for Caligula

Season 4 • Episode 1

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.

Tuesday, November 25

Who's Vod Kanockers?

Season 4 • Episode 2

Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.

Tuesday, November 25

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Season 4 • Episode 3

Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.

Tuesday, November 25

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

Season 4 • Episode 4

After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.

Tuesday, November 25

Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 4 • Episode 24

Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.

Tuesday, November 25

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Season 5 • Episode 1

Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.

Tuesday, November 25

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Season 5 • Episode 2

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother.

Tuesday, November 25

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Season 5 • Episode 3

Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.

Tuesday, November 25

City of Great Racks

Season 5 • Episode 4

Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.

Tuesday, November 25

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Season 5 • Episode 5

Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.

Tuesday, November 25

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Season 5 • Episode 6

Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.

Tuesday, November 25

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Season 5 • Episode 12

Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.

Wednesday, November 26

Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

Season 10 • Episode 23

Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old, but ends up being more interested in her grandmother.

Wednesday, November 26

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Season 8 • Episode 2

When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get him to agree to it.

Wednesday, November 26

Meander to Your Dander

Season 5 • Episode 11

Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.

Wednesday, November 26

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Season 5 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.

Wednesday, November 26

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Wednesday, November 26

Tight's Good

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Wednesday, November 26

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Season 5 • Episode 10

Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.

Wednesday, November 26

Meander to Your Dander

Season 5 • Episode 11

Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.

Wednesday, November 26

The Soil Is Moist

Season 5 • Episode 13

Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.

Wednesday, November 26

Winky-Dink Time

Season 5 • Episode 14

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.

Wednesday, November 26

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Wednesday, November 26

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Season 5 • Episode 16

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.

Wednesday, November 26

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Wednesday, November 26

If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 • Episode 18

Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.

Wednesday, November 26

Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season 5 • Episode 19

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.

Wednesday, November 26

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 6 • Episode 1

Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.

Wednesday, November 26

Pie Hole, Herb

Season 6 • Episode 2

Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.

Wednesday, November 26

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1 • Episode 10

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Wednesday, November 26

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Season 4 • Episode 5

Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.

Wednesday, November 26

Apologies for the Frivolity

Season 4 • Episode 6

Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.

Wednesday, November 26

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Season 4 • Episode 7

Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter; Alan satisfies a secret fetish.

Wednesday, November 26

Release the Dogs

Season 4 • Episode 8

Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.

Wednesday, November 26

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Season 4 • Episode 9

Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.

Wednesday, November 26

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

Season 4 • Episode 10

Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper.

Wednesday, November 26

Walnuts and Demerol

Season 4 • Episode 11

Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party.

Wednesday, November 26

The Devil's Lube

Season 6 • Episode 11

When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.

Wednesday, November 26

Thank God for Scoliosis

Season 6 • Episode 12

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.

Wednesday, November 26

I Think You Offended Don

Season 6 • Episode 13

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father.

Wednesday, November 26

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Season 6 • Episode 14

Melissa thinks Alan is not appreciated by his family.

Wednesday, November 26

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

Season 6 • Episode 15

In an attempt to prove he has changed, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.

Wednesday, November 26

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

Season 6 • Episode 16

Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

Wednesday, November 26

The Ocu or the Pado?

Season 6 • Episode 17

When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea, her response is nothing like what he'd expected.

Wednesday, November 26

My Son's Enormous Head

Season 6 • Episode 18

Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick.

Thursday, November 27

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Season 11 • Episode 2

Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (Carl Reiner).

Thursday, November 27

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

Season 8 • Episode 3

After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

Thursday, November 27

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Season 5 • Episode 12

Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.

Thursday, November 27

The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 • Episode 19

Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.

Thursday, November 27

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 • Episode 20

Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.

Thursday, November 27

Above Exalted Cyclops

Season 6 • Episode 21

Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.

Thursday, November 27

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Season 6 • Episode 22

Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.

Thursday, November 27

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

Season 6 • Episode 23

When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.

Thursday, November 27

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

Season 6 • Episode 24

Charlie begins to question his relationship with Chelsea.

Thursday, November 27

818-jklpuzo

Season 7 • Episode 1

Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.

Thursday, November 27

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Season 7 • Episode 2

Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.

Thursday, November 27

Mmm, Fish. Yum

Season 7 • Episode 3

Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.

Thursday, November 27

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Season 7 • Episode 4

Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.

Thursday, November 27

For the Sake of the Child

Season 7 • Episode 5

After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.

Thursday, November 27

Give Me Your Thumb

Season 7 • Episode 6

Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.

Thursday, November 27

Untainted by Filth

Season 7 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.

Thursday, November 27

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Season 7 • Episode 8

Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.

Thursday, November 27

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Season 7 • Episode 9

Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair.

Thursday, November 27

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Season 7 • Episode 10

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

Thursday, November 27

Warning, It's Dirty

Season 7 • Episode 11

Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Thursday, November 27

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Season 7 • Episode 12

Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship.

Thursday, November 27

Yay, No Polyps!

Season 7 • Episode 13

Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents.

Thursday, November 27

Crude and Uncalled For

Season 7 • Episode 14

A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested someone else.

Thursday, November 27

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1 • Episode 10

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Thursday, November 27

Aye, Aye, Captain

Season 7 • Episode 15

When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help.

Thursday, November 27

Tinkle Like a Princess

Season 7 • Episode 16

Charlie returns from Las Vegas with the woman he married there, who is not Chelsea.

Thursday, November 27

I Found Your Mustache

Season 7 • Episode 17

Charlie and Chelsea get together for one night, despite having ended their relationship.

Thursday, November 27

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Season 7 • Episode 18

Charlie has a return engagement with Gail; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.

Thursday, November 27

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Season 7 • Episode 19

Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldrigdge's attractive mother.

Thursday, November 27

I Called Him Magoo

Season 7 • Episode 20

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend.

Thursday, November 27

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 7 • Episode 22

Charlie's license is suspended; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.

Thursday, November 27

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Season 8 • Episode 1

Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom.

Thursday, November 27

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Season 8 • Episode 2

When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get him to agree to it.

Friday, November 28

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Season 11 • Episode 4

Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.

Friday, November 28

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1 • Episode 10

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday, November 28

Oontz Oontz Oontz

Season 12 • Episode 5

Walden takes in a foster child named Louis, but they don't bond as he expected.

Saturday, November 29

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

Season 8 • Episode 4

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

Saturday, November 29

Winky-Dink Time

Season 5 • Episode 14

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.

Saturday, November 29

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1 • Episode 10

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Saturday, November 29

Santa's Village of the Damned

Season 3 • Episode 11

Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.

Saturday, November 29

Walnuts and Demerol

Season 4 • Episode 11

Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party.

Saturday, November 29

I Think You Offended Don

Season 6 • Episode 13

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father.

Saturday, November 29

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Season 6 • Episode 14

Melissa thinks Alan is not appreciated by his family.

Saturday, November 29

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

Season 6 • Episode 15

In an attempt to prove he has changed, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.

Saturday, November 29

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

Season 6 • Episode 16

Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

Saturday, November 29

The Ocu or the Pado?

Season 6 • Episode 17

When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea, her response is nothing like what he'd expected.

Saturday, November 29

My Son's Enormous Head

Season 6 • Episode 18

Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick.

Saturday, November 29

The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 • Episode 19

Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.

Saturday, November 29

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 • Episode 20

Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.

Saturday, November 29

Above Exalted Cyclops

Season 6 • Episode 21

Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.

Saturday, November 29

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Season 6 • Episode 22

Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.

Saturday, November 29

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

Season 6 • Episode 23

When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.

Saturday, November 29

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

Season 6 • Episode 24

Charlie begins to question his relationship with Chelsea.

Saturday, November 29

818-jklpuzo

Season 7 • Episode 1

Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.

Saturday, November 29

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Season 7 • Episode 2

Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.

Saturday, November 29

Mmm, Fish. Yum

Season 7 • Episode 3

Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.

Sunday, November 30

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Season 7 • Episode 4

Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.

Sunday, November 30

For the Sake of the Child

Season 7 • Episode 5

After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.

Sunday, November 30

Give Me Your Thumb

Season 7 • Episode 6

Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.

Sunday, November 30

Untainted by Filth

Season 7 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.

Sunday, November 30

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Season 7 • Episode 9

Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair.

Sunday, November 30

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Season 7 • Episode 10

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

Sunday, November 30

Warning, It's Dirty

Season 7 • Episode 11

Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Sunday, November 30

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Season 7 • Episode 12

Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship.

Sunday, November 30

Yay, No Polyps!

Season 7 • Episode 13

Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents.

Sunday, November 30

Crude and Uncalled For

Season 7 • Episode 14

A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested someone else.

Sunday, November 30

Aye, Aye, Captain

Season 7 • Episode 15

When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help.

Sunday, November 30

Tinkle Like a Princess

Season 7 • Episode 16

Charlie returns from Las Vegas with the woman he married there, who is not Chelsea.

Sunday, November 30

I Found Your Mustache

Season 7 • Episode 17

Charlie and Chelsea get together for one night, despite having ended their relationship.

Sunday, November 30

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Season 7 • Episode 18

Charlie has a return engagement with Gail; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.

Sunday, November 30

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Season 7 • Episode 19

Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldrigdge's attractive mother.

Sunday, November 30

I Called Him Magoo

Season 7 • Episode 20

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend.

Monday, December 1

Back Off Mary Poppins

Season 2 • Episode 1

Alan begs Charlie to let him join his exclusive men's group.

Monday, December 1

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 3 • Episode 1

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.

Monday, December 1

Castrating Sheep in Montana

Season 4 • Episode 12

Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter.

Monday, December 1

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Season 4 • Episode 13

Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb making out.

Monday, December 1

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Season 4 • Episode 14

Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor.

Monday, December 1

My Damn Stalker

Season 4 • Episode 15

Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London.

Monday, December 1

Young People Have Phlegm Too

Season 4 • Episode 16

A more mature woman helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.

Monday, December 1

I Merely Slept With a Commie

Season 4 • Episode 17

Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.

Monday, December 1

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Season 4 • Episode 18

Alan tries to bond with Jake; Kandi's new career.

Monday, December 1

Smooth as a Ken Doll

Season 4 • Episode 19

Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.

Tuesday, December 2

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Season 8 • Episode 5

Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.

Tuesday, December 2

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Tuesday, December 2

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Season 4 • Episode 20

Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.

Tuesday, December 2

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Season 4 • Episode 21

Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.

Tuesday, December 2

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Season 4 • Episode 22

Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Tuesday, December 2

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Season 4 • Episode 23

Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.

Tuesday, December 2

Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 4 • Episode 24

Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.

Tuesday, December 2

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Season 5 • Episode 1

Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.

Tuesday, December 2

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Season 5 • Episode 2

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother.

Tuesday, December 2

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Season 5 • Episode 3

Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.

Tuesday, December 2

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Season 8 • Episode 5

Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.

Tuesday, December 2

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Season 8 • Episode 7

Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.

Tuesday, December 2

Springtime on a Stick

Season 8 • Episode 8

Charlie and Alan try to set Evelyn up with the pharmacist, Russell.

Tuesday, December 2

A Good Time in Central Africa

Season 8 • Episode 9

Charlie falls for the woman who replaces Berta on her days off.

Tuesday, December 2

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

Season 8 • Episode 10

Charlie goes on a spending spree for old fling Courtney when she is released from prison.

Tuesday, December 2

Dead From the Waist Down

Season 8 • Episode 11

Ashamed that he can't afford to buy a birthday present for Lyndsey, Alan gets creative.

Tuesday, December 2

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

Season 8 • Episode 12

Depressed after his breakup from Courtney, Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist.

Tuesday, December 2

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

Season 8 • Episode 13

Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.

Wednesday, December 3

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Season 11 • Episode 6

Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her.

Wednesday, December 3

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Season 8 • Episode 6

Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.

Wednesday, December 3

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Season 5 • Episode 16

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.

Wednesday, December 3

City of Great Racks

Season 5 • Episode 4

Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.

Wednesday, December 3

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Season 5 • Episode 5

Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.

Wednesday, December 3

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Season 5 • Episode 6

Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.

Wednesday, December 3

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Season 5 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.

Wednesday, December 3

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Wednesday, December 3

Tight's Good

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Wednesday, December 3

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Season 5 • Episode 10

Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.

Wednesday, December 3

Meander to Your Dander

Season 5 • Episode 11

Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.

Wednesday, December 3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Season 1 • Episode 3

One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.

Wednesday, December 3

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Season 1 • Episode 4

Alan tries to take over the housework after his neurotic demands scare away Charlie's cleaning lady.

Wednesday, December 3

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

Season 1 • Episode 5

Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.

Wednesday, December 3

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Season 8 • Episode 2

When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get him to agree to it.

Wednesday, December 3

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Season 8 • Episode 6

Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.

Wednesday, December 3

Looking' for Japanese Subs

Season 8 • Episode 14

Charlie stalks Rose; Eldridge and Jake begin videotaping dangerous stunts.

Wednesday, December 3

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

Season 8 • Episode 15

Charlie and Rose continue their affair; Alan's business becomes a Ponzi scheme.

Wednesday, December 3

That Darn Priest

Season 8 • Episode 16

Rose discovers Alan's Ponzi scheme; Charlie tries to get time alone with Rose.

Thursday, December 4

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room

Season 11 • Episode 8

When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's help.

Thursday, December 4

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Season 8 • Episode 7

Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.

Thursday, December 4

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Thursday, December 4

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Season 5 • Episode 12

Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.

Thursday, December 4

The Soil Is Moist

Season 5 • Episode 13

Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.

Thursday, December 4

Winky-Dink Time

Season 5 • Episode 14

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.

Thursday, December 4

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Thursday, December 4

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Season 5 • Episode 16

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.

Thursday, December 4

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Thursday, December 4

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 6 • Episode 1

Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.

Thursday, December 4

Pie Hole, Herb

Season 6 • Episode 2

Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.

Thursday, December 4

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Season 1 • Episode 8

Charlie uses his ability to write jingles to produce Jake's school musical.

Thursday, December 4

Phase One, Complete

Season 1 • Episode 9

Charlie suspects a woman is using Evelyn and Jake to get to him.

Thursday, December 4

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Season 1 • Episode 11

Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau.

Thursday, December 4

Camel Filters and Pheremones

Season 1 • Episode 12

The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.

Thursday, December 4

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Season 1 • Episode 13

Charlie drags his ailing brother to a men's steam room.

Thursday, December 4

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Season 1 • Episode 14

Charlie's accountant (Richard Lewis) tries to explain his financial woes.

Thursday, December 4

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Season 1 • Episode 15

Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie (Jenna Elfman).

Thursday, December 4

That Was Saliva, Alan

Season 1 • Episode 16

Frankie (Jenna Elfman) divulges her big secret, then falls for one of the brothers.

Friday, December 5

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

Season 11 • Episode 10

Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.

Friday, December 5

Springtime on a Stick

Season 8 • Episode 8

Charlie and Alan try to set Evelyn up with the pharmacist, Russell.

Friday, December 5

If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 • Episode 18

Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.

Friday, December 5

If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 • Episode 18

Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.

Friday, December 5

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Season 6 • Episode 3

Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.

Friday, December 5

The Flavin' and the Mavin

Season 6 • Episode 4

Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.

Friday, December 5

A Jock Strap in Hell

Season 6 • Episode 5

The guys run into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie.

Friday, December 5

It's Always Nazi Week

Season 6 • Episode 6

When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.

Friday, December 5

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Season 6 • Episode 7

Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.

Friday, December 5

Pinocchio's Mouth

Season 6 • Episode 8

Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.

Friday, December 5

The Mooch at the Boo

Season 6 • Episode 9

Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter.

Saturday, December 6

A Good Time in Central Africa

Season 8 • Episode 9

Charlie falls for the woman who replaces Berta on her days off.

Saturday, December 6

Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season 5 • Episode 19

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.

Saturday, December 6

Pilot

Season 1 • Episode 1

Charlie discovers that a man raising a 10-year-old boy attracts the attention of women.

Saturday, December 6

Big Flappy Bastards

Season 1 • Episode 2

Charlie does not know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room.

Saturday, December 6

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Season 1 • Episode 3

One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.

Saturday, December 6

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Season 1 • Episode 4

Alan tries to take over the housework after his neurotic demands scare away Charlie's cleaning lady.

Saturday, December 6

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

Season 1 • Episode 5

Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.

Saturday, December 6

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Season 1 • Episode 6

After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up.

Saturday, December 6

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Season 1 • Episode 7

For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.

Saturday, December 6

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1 • Episode 10

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Saturday, December 6

Camel Filters and Pheremones

Season 1 • Episode 12

The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.

Saturday, December 6

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Season 1 • Episode 13

Charlie drags his ailing brother to a men's steam room.

Saturday, December 6

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Season 1 • Episode 14

Charlie's accountant (Richard Lewis) tries to explain his financial woes.

Sunday, December 7

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Season 1 • Episode 15

Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie (Jenna Elfman).

Sunday, December 7

That Was Saliva, Alan

Season 1 • Episode 16

Frankie (Jenna Elfman) divulges her big secret, then falls for one of the brothers.

Sunday, December 7

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Season 1 • Episode 17

Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.

Sunday, December 7

An Old Flame With a New Wick

Season 1 • Episode 18

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).

Sunday, December 7

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Season 1 • Episode 19

Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.

Sunday, December 7

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Season 1 • Episode 20

After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist.

Sunday, December 7

No Sniffing, No Wowing

Season 1 • Episode 21

Charlie jeopardizes Alan's settlement by sleeping with his attorney.

Sunday, December 7

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Season 1 • Episode 22

Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking.

Sunday, December 7

Just Like Buffalo

Season 1 • Episode 23

Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Sunday, December 7

Can You Feel My Finger?

Season 1 • Episode 24

A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.

Sunday, December 7

A Bag Full of Jawea

Season 2 • Episode 3

Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher.

Sunday, December 7

Go Get Mommy's Bra

Season 2 • Episode 4

Charlie's mother borrows the Mercedes to impress a Saudi prince.

Sunday, December 7

Bad News From the Clinic

Season 2 • Episode 5

Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.

Sunday, December 7

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

Season 2 • Episode 6

Alan fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits to a nasty trick.

Sunday, December 7

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

Season 2 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party.

Sunday, December 7

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

Season 2 • Episode 8

Alan meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.

Sunday, December 7

Yes, Monsignor

Season 2 • Episode 9

Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right.

Monday, December 8

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Season 3 • Episode 2

Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.

Monday, December 8

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Season 3 • Episode 3

Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.

Monday, December 8

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Season 6 • Episode 10

When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.

Monday, December 8

The Devil's Lube

Season 6 • Episode 11

When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.

Monday, December 8

Thank God for Scoliosis

Season 6 • Episode 12

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.

Monday, December 8

I Think You Offended Don

Season 6 • Episode 13

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father.

Monday, December 8

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Season 6 • Episode 14

Melissa thinks Alan is not appreciated by his family.

Monday, December 8

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

Season 6 • Episode 15

In an attempt to prove he has changed, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.

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