Two and a Half Men
TV14
Sitcom
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Cast & Crew
Jon Cryer Alan Harper
Charlie Sheen Charlie Harper
Ashton Kutcher Walden Schmidt
Conchata Ferrell Berta
Angus T. Jones Jake Harper
Holland Taylor Evelyn Harper
Marin Hinkle Judith
Melanie Lynskey Rose
Chuck Lorre Executive Producer
Don Reo Executive Producer
Jim Patterson Executive Producer
Chuck Lorre Creator
Lee Aronsohn Creator
⨁Full Cast & Crew
Upcoming TV Airings
The airings below are based on a generic national schedule. Times and dates can vary by TV provider.
Tuesday, March 24
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 • Episode 22
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
Tuesday, March 24
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Season 1 • Episode 15
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie (Jenna Elfman).
Tuesday, March 24
Aye, Aye, Captain
Season 7 • Episode 15
When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help.
Tuesday, March 24
Tinkle Like a Princess
Season 7 • Episode 16
Charlie returns from Las Vegas with the woman he married there, who is not Chelsea.
Tuesday, March 24
I Found Your Mustache
Season 7 • Episode 17
Charlie and Chelsea get together for one night, despite having ended their relationship.
Tuesday, March 24
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Season 7 • Episode 18
Charlie has a return engagement with Gail; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.
Tuesday, March 24
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Season 7 • Episode 19
Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldridge's attractive mother.
Tuesday, March 24
I Called Him Magoo
Season 7 • Episode 20
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend.
Tuesday, March 24
Gumby With a Pokey
Season 7 • Episode 21
Alan and Jake go on a road trip; Charlie finds himself haunted by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.
Tuesday, March 24
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 7 • Episode 22
Charlie's license is suspended; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.
Tuesday, March 24
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Season 8 • Episode 1
Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom.
Tuesday, March 24
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Season 8 • Episode 2
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get him to agree to it.
Wednesday, March 25
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Season 11 • Episode 10
Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.
Wednesday, March 25
Arguments for the Quickie
Season 3 • Episode 23
Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
Wednesday, March 25
That Was Saliva, Alan
Season 1 • Episode 16
Frankie (Jenna Elfman) divulges her big secret, then falls for one of the brothers.
Wednesday, March 25
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Season 8 • Episode 3
After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
Wednesday, March 25
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Season 8 • Episode 4
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.
Wednesday, March 25
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Season 8 • Episode 5
Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
Wednesday, March 25
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Season 8 • Episode 6
Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.
Wednesday, March 25
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Season 8 • Episode 7
Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.
Wednesday, March 25
Springtime on a Stick
Season 8 • Episode 8
Charlie and Alan try to set Evelyn up with the pharmacist, Russell.
Wednesday, March 25
A Good Time in Central Africa
Season 8 • Episode 9
Charlie falls for the woman who replaces Berta on her days off.
Wednesday, March 25
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Season 8 • Episode 10
Charlie goes on a spending spree for old fling Courtney when she is released from prison.
Wednesday, March 25
Dead From the Waist Down
Season 8 • Episode 11
Ashamed that he can't afford to buy a birthday present for Lyndsey, Alan gets creative.
Wednesday, March 25
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Season 8 • Episode 12
Depressed after his breakup from Courtney, Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist.
Thursday, March 26
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Season 11 • Episode 12
Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.
Thursday, March 26
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 • Episode 24
Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
Thursday, March 26
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Season 1 • Episode 17
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
Thursday, March 26
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Season 8 • Episode 13
Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.
Thursday, March 26
Looking' for Japanese Subs
Season 8 • Episode 14
Charlie stalks Rose; Eldridge and Jake begin videotaping dangerous stunts.
Thursday, March 26
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Season 8 • Episode 15
Charlie and Rose continue their affair; Alan's business becomes a Ponzi scheme.
Thursday, March 26
That Darn Priest
Season 8 • Episode 16
Rose discovers Alan's Ponzi scheme; Charlie tries to get time alone with Rose.
Thursday, March 26
Pilot
Season 1 • Episode 1
Charlie discovers that a man raising a 10-year-old boy attracts the attention of women.
Thursday, March 26
Big Flappy Bastards
Season 1 • Episode 2
Charlie does not know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room.
Thursday, March 26
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Season 1 • Episode 3
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
Thursday, March 26
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Season 1 • Episode 4
Alan tries to take over the housework after his neurotic demands scare away Charlie's cleaning lady.
Thursday, March 26
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Season 1 • Episode 5
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
Thursday, March 26
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Season 1 • Episode 6
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up.
Friday, March 27
Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Season 11 • Episode 14
Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.
Friday, March 27
Working for Caligula
Season 4 • Episode 1
Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.
Friday, March 27
An Old Flame With a New Wick
Season 1 • Episode 18
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
Saturday, March 28
Who's Vod Kanockers?
Season 4 • Episode 2
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.
Saturday, March 28
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Season 1 • Episode 19
Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.
Monday, March 30
The Devil's Lube
Season 6 • Episode 11
When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.
Monday, March 30
Thank God for Scoliosis
Season 6 • Episode 12
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.
Monday, March 30
Apologies for the Frivolity New
Season 4 • Episode 6
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
Monday, March 30
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head New
Season 4 • Episode 7
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter; Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
Monday, March 30
Release the Dogs New
Season 4 • Episode 8
Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
Monday, March 30
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour New
Season 4 • Episode 9
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
Monday, March 30
Kissing Abraham Lincoln New
Season 4 • Episode 10
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper.
Monday, March 30
Walnuts and Demerol New
Season 4 • Episode 11
Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party.
Monday, March 30
Castrating Sheep in Montana New
Season 4 • Episode 12
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter.
Monday, March 30
Don't Worry, Speed Racer New
Season 4 • Episode 13
Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb making out.
Monday, March 30
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami New
Season 4 • Episode 14
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor.
Tuesday, March 31
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Season 4 • Episode 3
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
Tuesday, March 31
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Season 1 • Episode 20
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist.
Tuesday, March 31
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Season 1 • Episode 7
For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.
Tuesday, March 31
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Season 1 • Episode 8
Charlie uses his ability to write jingles to produce Jake's school musical.
Tuesday, March 31
Phase One, Complete
Season 1 • Episode 9
Charlie suspects a woman is using Evelyn and Jake to get to him.
Tuesday, March 31
Merry Thanksgiving
Season 1 • Episode 10
In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Tuesday, March 31
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Season 1 • Episode 11
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau.
Tuesday, March 31
Camel Filters and Pheremones
Season 1 • Episode 12
The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.
Tuesday, March 31
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Season 1 • Episode 13
Charlie drags his ailing brother to a men's steam room.
Tuesday, March 31
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Season 1 • Episode 14
Charlie's accountant (Richard Lewis) tries to explain his financial woes.
Tuesday, March 31
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Season 1 • Episode 15
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie (Jenna Elfman).
Tuesday, March 31
That Was Saliva, Alan
Season 1 • Episode 16
Frankie (Jenna Elfman) divulges her big secret, then falls for one of the brothers.
Wednesday, April 1
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Season 11 • Episode 16
Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister.
Wednesday, April 1
A Pot-Smoking Monkey
Season 4 • Episode 4
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
Wednesday, April 1
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Season 1 • Episode 21
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's settlement by sleeping with his attorney.
Wednesday, April 1
Pilot
Season 1 • Episode 1
Charlie discovers that a man raising a 10-year-old boy attracts the attention of women.
Wednesday, April 1
Big Flappy Bastards
Season 1 • Episode 2
Charlie does not know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room.
Wednesday, April 1
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Season 1 • Episode 3
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
Wednesday, April 1
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Season 1 • Episode 4
Alan tries to take over the housework after his neurotic demands scare away Charlie's cleaning lady.
Wednesday, April 1
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Season 1 • Episode 5
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
Wednesday, April 1
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Season 1 • Episode 6
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up.
Wednesday, April 1
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Season 1 • Episode 17
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
Wednesday, April 1
An Old Flame With a New Wick
Season 1 • Episode 18
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
Wednesday, April 1
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Season 1 • Episode 19
Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.
Wednesday, April 1
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Season 1 • Episode 20
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist.
Wednesday, April 1
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Season 1 • Episode 21
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's settlement by sleeping with his attorney.
Wednesday, April 1
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Season 1 • Episode 22
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking.
Wednesday, April 1
Just Like Buffalo
Season 1 • Episode 23
Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Wednesday, April 1
Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 1 • Episode 24
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
Wednesday, April 1
Back Off Mary Poppins
Season 2 • Episode 1
Alan begs Charlie to let him join his exclusive men's group.
Wednesday, April 1
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Season 2 • Episode 2
Alan is upset that Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician.
Thursday, April 2
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Season 11 • Episode 19
Walden reconnects with Kate and becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets Vivian.
Thursday, April 2
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Season 4 • Episode 5
Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
Thursday, April 2
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Season 1 • Episode 19
Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.
Thursday, April 2
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Season 1 • Episode 20
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist.
Thursday, April 2
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Season 1 • Episode 21
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's settlement by sleeping with his attorney.
Thursday, April 2
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Season 1 • Episode 22
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking.
Thursday, April 2
Just Like Buffalo
Season 1 • Episode 23
Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Thursday, April 2
Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 1 • Episode 24
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
Thursday, April 2
Back Off Mary Poppins
Season 2 • Episode 1
Alan begs Charlie to let him join his exclusive men's group.
Thursday, April 2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Season 2 • Episode 2
Alan is upset that Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician.
Thursday, April 2
A Bag Full of Jawea
Season 2 • Episode 3
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher.
Thursday, April 2
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Season 2 • Episode 4
Charlie's mother borrows the Mercedes to impress a Saudi prince.
Thursday, April 2
A Bag Full of Jawea
Season 2 • Episode 3
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher.
Thursday, April 2
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Season 2 • Episode 4
Charlie's mother borrows the Mercedes to impress a Saudi prince.
Thursday, April 2
Bad News From the Clinic
Season 2 • Episode 5
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
Thursday, April 2
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Season 2 • Episode 6
Alan fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits to a nasty trick.
Thursday, April 2
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Season 2 • Episode 7
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party.
Thursday, April 2
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Season 2 • Episode 8
Alan meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
Thursday, April 2
Yes, Monsignor
Season 2 • Episode 9
Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right.
Thursday, April 2
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Season 2 • Episode 10
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics.
Thursday, April 2
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Season 2 • Episode 11
Jake discovers an angry Website devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
Thursday, April 2
A Lungful of Alan
Season 2 • Episode 12
The brothers compete for the attentions of Alan's high-school friend.
Friday, April 3
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Season 11 • Episode 21
Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a trip.
Friday, April 3
Apologies for the Frivolity
Season 4 • Episode 6
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
Friday, April 3
Just Like Buffalo
Season 1 • Episode 23
Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Friday, April 3
Bad News From the Clinic
Season 2 • Episode 5
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
Friday, April 3
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Season 2 • Episode 6
Alan fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits to a nasty trick.
Friday, April 3
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Season 2 • Episode 7
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party.
Friday, April 3
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Season 2 • Episode 8
Alan meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
Friday, April 3
Yes, Monsignor
Season 2 • Episode 9
Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right.
Friday, April 3
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Season 2 • Episode 10
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics.
Friday, April 3
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Season 2 • Episode 11
Jake discovers an angry Website devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
Friday, April 3
A Lungful of Alan
Season 2 • Episode 12
The brothers compete for the attentions of Alan's high-school friend.
Friday, April 3
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
Season 2 • Episode 13
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
Friday, April 3
Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts
Season 2 • Episode 14
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
Friday, April 3
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Season 2 • Episode 15
Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.
Friday, April 3
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Season 2 • Episode 16
Alan and Charlie spend an eye-opening week caring for Jake.
Friday, April 3
Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
Season 2 • Episode 17
Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor.
Friday, April 3
It Was Mame, Mom
Season 2 • Episode 18
Charlie and Alan pose as a gay couple in order to impress a gay ad executive.
Friday, April 3
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Season 2 • Episode 19
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.
Friday, April 3
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Season 2 • Episode 20
Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.
Friday, April 3
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Season 2 • Episode 21
Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died.
Friday, April 3
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Season 2 • Episode 22
After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her.
Friday, April 3
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Season 2 • Episode 23
Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.
Friday, April 3
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 2 • Episode 24
Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.
Friday, April 3
Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts
Season 3 • Episode 1
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.
Friday, April 3
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Season 3 • Episode 2
Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.
Friday, April 3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Season 3 • Episode 3
Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.
Friday, April 3
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Season 3 • Episode 4
Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.
Saturday, April 4
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Season 4 • Episode 7
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter; Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
Saturday, April 4
Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 1 • Episode 24
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
Saturday, April 4
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Season 3 • Episode 5
Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.
Saturday, April 4
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Season 3 • Episode 6
Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
Saturday, April 4
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Season 3 • Episode 7
Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.
Saturday, April 4
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Season 3 • Episode 8
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
Saturday, April 4
Madame and Her Special Friend
Season 3 • Episode 9
Alan is propositioned by one of Charlie's elderly neighbors; Charlie tries to stop Jake.
Saturday, April 4
Something Salted and Twisted
Season 3 • Episode 10
Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.
Saturday, April 4
Santa's Village of the Damned
Season 3 • Episode 11
Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.
Saturday, April 4
That Special Tug
Season 3 • Episode 12
Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
Saturday, April 4
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Season 3 • Episode 13
Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.
Saturday, April 4
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Season 3 • Episode 14
Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in hopes of consummating their relationship.
Saturday, April 4
My Tongue Is Meat
Season 3 • Episode 15
Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.
Saturday, April 4
Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 • Episode 16
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
Sunday, April 5
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Season 3 • Episode 17
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.
Sunday, April 5
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Season 3 • Episode 18
Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend.
Sunday, April 5
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Season 3 • Episode 19
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell.
Sunday, April 5
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Season 3 • Episode 20
Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.
Sunday, April 5
And the Plot Moistens
Season 3 • Episode 21
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.
Sunday, April 5
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 • Episode 22
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
Sunday, April 5
Arguments for the Quickie
Season 3 • Episode 23
Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
Sunday, April 5
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 • Episode 24
Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
Sunday, April 5
Working for Caligula
Season 4 • Episode 1
Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.
Sunday, April 5
Who's Vod Kanockers?
Season 4 • Episode 2
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.
Sunday, April 5
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Season 4 • Episode 3
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
Sunday, April 5
A Pot-Smoking Monkey
Season 4 • Episode 4
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
Sunday, April 5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Season 4 • Episode 5
Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
Sunday, April 5
Apologies for the Frivolity
Season 4 • Episode 6
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
Sunday, April 5
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Season 4 • Episode 7
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter; Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
Sunday, April 5
Release the Dogs
Season 4 • Episode 8
Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
Monday, April 6
I Think You Offended Don
Season 6 • Episode 13
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father.
Monday, April 6
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Season 6 • Episode 14
Melissa thinks Alan is not appreciated by his family.
Monday, April 6
Walnuts and Demerol
Season 4 • Episode 11
Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party.
Monday, April 6
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Season 4 • Episode 12
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter.
Monday, April 6
I Merely Slept With a Commie New
Season 4 • Episode 17
Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.
Monday, April 6
It Never Rains in Hooterville New
Season 4 • Episode 18
Alan tries to bond with Jake; Kandi's new career.
Monday, April 6
Smooth as a Ken Doll New
Season 4 • Episode 19
Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.
Monday, April 6
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot New
Season 4 • Episode 20
Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.
Monday, April 6
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous New
Season 4 • Episode 21
Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.
Monday, April 6
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag New
Season 4 • Episode 22
Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Monday, April 6
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' New
Season 4 • Episode 23
Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.
Monday, April 6
Prostitutes and Gelato New
Season 4 • Episode 24
Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.
Monday, April 6
My Damn Stalker
Season 4 • Episode 15
Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London.
Monday, April 6
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Season 4 • Episode 16
A more mature woman helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.
Monday, April 6
I Merely Slept With a Commie
Season 4 • Episode 17
Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.
Monday, April 6
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Season 4 • Episode 18
Alan tries to bond with Jake; Kandi's new career.
Monday, April 6
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Season 4 • Episode 19
Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.
Monday, April 6
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Season 4 • Episode 20
Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.
Monday, April 6
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Season 4 • Episode 21
Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.
Monday, April 6
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Season 4 • Episode 22
Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Monday, April 6
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Season 4 • Episode 23
Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.
Monday, April 6
Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 4 • Episode 24
Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.
Monday, April 6
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Season 5 • Episode 1
Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.
Monday, April 6
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Season 5 • Episode 2
Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother.
Monday, April 6
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Season 5 • Episode 3
Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.
Monday, April 6
City of Great Racks
Season 5 • Episode 4
Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.
Monday, April 6
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Season 5 • Episode 5
Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.
Monday, April 6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Season 5 • Episode 6
Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.
Monday, April 6
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Season 5 • Episode 7
Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.
Monday, April 6
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Season 5 • Episode 8
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.
Monday, April 6
Tight's Good
Season 5 • Episode 9
Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.
Monday, April 6
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Season 5 • Episode 10
Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.
Monday, April 6
Meander to Your Dander
Season 5 • Episode 11
Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.
Monday, April 6
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Season 5 • Episode 12
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
Tuesday, April 7
Release the Dogs
Season 4 • Episode 8
Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
Tuesday, April 7
Back Off Mary Poppins
Season 2 • Episode 1
Alan begs Charlie to let him join his exclusive men's group.
Tuesday, April 7
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
Season 2 • Episode 13
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
Tuesday, April 7
Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts
Season 2 • Episode 14
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
Tuesday, April 7
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Season 2 • Episode 15
Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.
Tuesday, April 7
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Season 2 • Episode 16
Alan and Charlie spend an eye-opening week caring for Jake.
Tuesday, April 7
Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
Season 2 • Episode 17
Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor.
Tuesday, April 7
It Was Mame, Mom
Season 2 • Episode 18
Charlie and Alan pose as a gay couple in order to impress a gay ad executive.
Tuesday, April 7
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Season 2 • Episode 19
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.
Tuesday, April 7
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Season 2 • Episode 20
Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.
Tuesday, April 7
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Season 2 • Episode 21
Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died.
Tuesday, April 7
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Season 2 • Episode 22
After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her.
Wednesday, April 8
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Season 12 • Episode 1
After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life.
Wednesday, April 8
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Season 4 • Episode 9
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
Wednesday, April 8
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Season 2 • Episode 2
Alan is upset that Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician.
Wednesday, April 8
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Season 2 • Episode 23
Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.
Wednesday, April 8
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 2 • Episode 24
Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.
Wednesday, April 8
Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts
Season 3 • Episode 1
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.
Wednesday, April 8
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Season 3 • Episode 2
Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.
Wednesday, April 8
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Season 3 • Episode 3
Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.
Wednesday, April 8
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Season 3 • Episode 4
Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.
Wednesday, April 8
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Season 3 • Episode 5
Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.
Wednesday, April 8
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Season 3 • Episode 6
Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
Wednesday, April 8
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Season 3 • Episode 7
Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.
Wednesday, April 8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Season 3 • Episode 8
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
Thursday, April 9
Glamping in a Yurt
Season 12 • Episode 3
Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with a social worker.
Thursday, April 9
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Season 4 • Episode 10
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper.
Thursday, April 9
A Bag Full of Jawea
Season 2 • Episode 3
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher.
Thursday, April 9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Season 3 • Episode 9
Alan is propositioned by one of Charlie's elderly neighbors; Charlie tries to stop Jake.
Thursday, April 9
Something Salted and Twisted
Season 3 • Episode 10
Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.
Thursday, April 9
Santa's Village of the Damned
Season 3 • Episode 11
Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.
Thursday, April 9
That Special Tug
Season 3 • Episode 12
Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
Thursday, April 9
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Season 3 • Episode 13
Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.
Thursday, April 9
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Season 3 • Episode 14
Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in hopes of consummating their relationship.
Thursday, April 9
My Tongue Is Meat
Season 3 • Episode 15
Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.
Thursday, April 9
Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 • Episode 16
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
Thursday, April 9
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Season 3 • Episode 17
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.
Thursday, April 9
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Season 3 • Episode 18
Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend.
Friday, April 10
Oontz Oontz Oontz
Season 12 • Episode 5
Walden takes in a foster child named Louis, but they don't bond as he expected.
Friday, April 10
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Season 4 • Episode 12
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter.
Friday, April 10
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Season 2 • Episode 4
Charlie's mother borrows the Mercedes to impress a Saudi prince.
Friday, April 10
The Soil Is Moist
Season 5 • Episode 13
Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.
Friday, April 10
Winky-Dink Time
Season 5 • Episode 14
Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.
Friday, April 10
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Season 5 • Episode 15
Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.
Friday, April 10
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Season 5 • Episode 16
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.
Friday, April 10
Fish in a Drawer
Season 5 • Episode 17
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.
Friday, April 10
If My Hole Could Talk
Season 5 • Episode 18
Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.
Friday, April 10
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 5 • Episode 19
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.
Friday, April 10
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Season 6 • Episode 1
Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.
Friday, April 10
Pie Hole, Herb
Season 6 • Episode 2
Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.
Friday, April 10
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Season 6 • Episode 3
Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.
Friday, April 10
The Flavin' and the Mavin
Season 6 • Episode 4
Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.
Friday, April 10
A Jock Strap in Hell
Season 6 • Episode 5
The guys run into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie.
Friday, April 10
It's Always Nazi Week
Season 6 • Episode 6
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.
Friday, April 10
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Season 6 • Episode 7
Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.
Friday, April 10
Pinocchio's Mouth
Season 6 • Episode 8
Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.
Friday, April 10
The Mooch at the Boo
Season 6 • Episode 9
Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter.
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