'90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?': The Three Types of Marriage (RECAP)
[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 5, Episode 10 of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?]
This week, we learn that there are three types of relationships: one ruled by in-laws, one determined by power dynamics, and one rooted in lust. As we watch Asuelu's mother demand more money, Chuck try to smooth things over with Andrei, and the demonic Debbie witness her breakup plan backfire, it's clear that these couples are trying their best to figure out which type of marriage they want to have. Or in the case of Michael and Angela, perhaps not have one at all.
Push My Buttons
Post-dinner fight, a weathered Elizabeth urges Andrei to apologize to her father and brother. "I've never seen you act that way, I've never seen that look in your eyes before. You were so enraged," she scolds.
Andrei admits he "did too much" at the dinner party, but Elizabeth's family was provoking him. "I'm going to apologize, maybe," he tries to appease her. "But with Charlie, if he pushes my buttons, I'm going to push him back."
Andrei specifies that he regrets being rude to Elizabeth's father Chuck, but her brother Charlie was out of line. Andrei agrees to a sit-down with Charlie, but only if Elizabeth mediates.
Three Types of Marriage
Michael brings Angela to a couples counseling session through the Nigerian marriage registry. "This is a waste of damn time. Ain't nobody who can counsel us. We can't even counsel ourselves," she mutters in the car there. She also gives a preview of their marital sex life, including a "penis warmer" and handcuffs.
While at the registry, the couple are interviewed about their love story. Michael explains he saw Angela on Facebook and sent her a friend request. She also opens up about her first marriage; she wed her husband at age 17 and then was divorced by 20.
The marriage registrar states that there are three types of marriage in Nigeria: a traditional marriage with potentially more than one wife, an Islamic union that is also polygamist, and a legal marriage with one man and one woman. Angela asks if Michael is allowed to have "side chicks," and after some laughter, the female registrar tells her that she needs to satisfy Michael sexually and always have dinner ready. "If you're not ready for the man to be on top, then this marriage will not work," the registrar states.
"I'm going to be honest here. The stuff she talked to me and Michael about is bulls**t," Angela tells the camera after the meeting. "I've told Michael over and over before we got to this step, that if Michael really wants a wife that's totally submissive, he needs to rethink it because that's not me."
"You Stole My Heart"
Larissa confronts Eric once more. "I don't know if this will be the end of Larissa and Eric but I want to talk to him," she tells the camera, in a rare moment of self-awareness. "But at the same time, I understand he is immature and I'm immature too."
Eric tries again to apologize for speaking poorly of Larissa, and yet he still reprimands her for "looking for trouble" by reaching out to his exes. He also asks Larissa to not move out. They agree to stay together and try to rebuild their relationship.
"You're the person I most love in the United States," Larissa coos to Eric in a bout of conditional love. She also said the police should come because he stole her heart.
Drink and Be Merry
Syngin goes out with his friends in South Africa. Even though Tania had asked him to drink in moderation, he smiles that he'll most likely be "smashing drinks until the sun comes up."
The friend group cheers for Syngin being a married man but shares their reservations about Tania. Apparently after Syngin met Tania, she moved into his apartment and stayed for two months. Syngin's friends, who were his roommates at the time, still harbor some resentment for Tania's unexpected arrival and subsequent complaining.
"I didn't like her. I thought to myself, 'who the f**k is this girl, moving into my place, dictating how I'm supposed to act in my country?' It doesn't sit easy, guys," Syngin's friend tells the camera. Basically there needs to be a spin-off with Tania, Syngin, and his pals all living together.
Syngin explains that Tania's "good sex" made him feel in love and their relationship escalated from a "lust bubble" into marriage. He still isn't sure that he should commit to her.
Cats Aren't the Only Animals That Stray
"Last night, Jess and I had a huge fight all over Vanessa babysitting the cats. She told me she was going to go f**k her ex and then she left," Colt recalls. "And at about 2 or 3 a.m., I heard a pounding at the door. It was Jess and some man was with her. I heard yelling and they're talking in Portuguese...I realized it was hotel security. After Jess got into the room, she was screaming and yelling about Vanessa and everything and she wouldn't stop. I just needed to get away from her....I decided best just to get my own hotel room."
The next morning, Colt tries to talk with Jess before he and Debbie fly back to the U.S. Jess asks him why he's a pathological liar, and Colt presses for why she threw high heels at him. Jess assures him she didn't sleep with anyone else the previous night and she respects Colt. "I try and you're crazy, Colt," Jess calmly tells him.
"I didn't tell you about Vanessa because she's just a friend. I met her before you. If I wanted to have a relationship with Vanessa, I would have done it before I met you," Colt pleads to Jess, purposefully leaving out that he did in fact sleep with Vanessa prior to meeting Jess. "I love you. I asked your father permission to marry you."
Jess asks why Colt didn't tell her outright that Vanessa was staying with the cats. Colt counters whether Jess wants to break up over his "good friend" Vanessa. Jess teases that she's prettier than Vanessa so she's not worried about Colt straying. More seriously, she begs him to act like an adult, especially with Debbie and the lying.
Between Two Families
Asuelu tries to explain his financial situation again to his mother and sister. "My family want me to send them whatever they want, but now I have my kids and I can't do this," he tells the camera. "I try to be an American man."
He brings the presents he bought with Kalani to his family. They accept them enthusiastically. Asuelu's sister teases him that Kalani is in charge of him. A trapped Asuelu grows more and more frustrated. His sister accuses him of not being "even" with Kalani and only married to her because she got pregnant.
"My sister hates Kalani and I can't fix it. I just leave the house and go back to see my wife. I love my family, I love my wife, and I think that I can't help both," Asuelu solemnly says in a confessional.
Run, Paul, Run
Karine locked herself in the bathroom before Paul's mother arrives at their house. Paul tells a producer that every once in a while Karine barricades herself for "five to six hours" and has mood swings. Paul's mom Mary attempts to talk to Karine, but she shoos her away.
"Does she want to go back home?" Mary asks Paul. "I understand how she feels. There is so much going on right now and it's just so different."
Paul runs after Karine in the trailer park before finding her alone at a picnic bench. "It's too hot for this s**t today," he tells her before he leaves. He vents to his mother that he takes care of everything with the baby and the house and Karine just wants to relax.
Elizabeth visits her dad and brother at their rented house. She does try to hold her family accountable for their role in Andrei's blowup the night before. "Is Andrei like that normally when you try to ask him about his past?" her brother Charlie counters. "He was trying to control his friends, like he didn't want them to talk."
Chuck and Charlie are adamant that Andrei is hiding the true reason why he moved to Ireland years ago. Elizabeth agrees that Andrei was out of line and there might be something else going on. "If that's the real him, there's going to be a big problem going forward," Chuck tells her, before threatening to not pay for their Moldovan wedding.
The Breakup Plan
Jess accompanies Colt and Debbie to the airport. Debbie is beyond surprised to see Jess in the lobby with the luggage. "I was a little upset that she was back...She has a lot of explaining to do," a peeved Debbie says to the camera. Her sabotage plan had crumbled at the seams, and apparently there is no breaking up Colt and Jess for now.
In the car, Debbie tries again to start some drama. She tells Jess she "hurt Colt," but Jess stands her ground, explaining that Colt lied to her first. The real question is: does Debbie know that Colt slept with Vanessa? That might be the part two of her breakup plan.
Once at the airport, Colt asks Debbie for some privacy while he says goodbye to Jess. "Don't propose, don't propose, don't propose," Debbie mutters to herself while rolling her eyes. Colt kisses Jess and tells her he loves her. They also plan for Jess to visit Las Vegas soon.
Who's on First?: The Submissive Story
Angela and Michael meet with his Aunt Lydia. She asks how their pre-marital counseling appointment went, and Angela immediately starts weighing in on how American women are different than Nigerian women. "Thank God we're living in America," Angela says. Michael defends his culture to Angela, and Angela asks why he's now putting on a different attitude in front of his aunt.
"As a Nigerian culture, the wife has to be very submissive to the husband. The best thing for Michael is if Angela can change her attitude. Then I think they'll be a good couple," Lydia tells the camera.
"I get really frustrated if he's lying to me about being submissive or if he's lying to his family that I will be. So which is it?" Angela seethes. She excuses herself from the table and scolds Michael for raising his voice to her.
Larissa meets with her hot lawyer Adam to check in about her pending case. Her charge was amended down to disorderly conduct, and Colt's case against her is officially closed. "Colt shoot me three times but I dodged a bullet!" Larissa smiles to the camera. "I can finally start living my life again."
Larissa asks Adam about her immigration status. He warns her to not "develop a pattern" with Eric that mirrors her relationship with Colt, but Larissa is hopeful that Eric is becoming more mature.
You Can't Give What You Don't Have
Kalani and Asuelu bring their kids to a petting zoo to meet up with Asuelu's mother. Asuelu didn't tell Kalani about what his sister Tammy said the other night.
Asuelu speaks with his mom at the goat farm. She once again chastises him for not sending her money. "If you had a big heart and are a real Samoan man, you have enough to share for everything," his mother says. He tries to explain that life in America is different than in Samoa; he even points to a homeless camp nearby, saying if he doesn't pay his bills in the U.S., his family could end up on the streets.
"If my family wants money from me, I will send it. But what about my kids? They will die," Asuelu hyperbolically sobs. "I love my family. I want to help."
"I don't want to make you cry....but your sister told you the way to love your mommy and your daddy in Samoa," his cold mother responds. A shocked Kalani tries to clarify what his mother is saying.
"To see your son crying and honestly saying 'I need to take care of my kids,' and then brushing that off like 'yeah, yeah, I don't give a s**t, I still need your money'...this b**ch is crazy!" Kalani tells the camera. She firmly tells Asuelu's mother that they can't give what they don't have.
Agree to Disagree
Andrei meets with Chuck and Charlie to discuss the situation. Andrei blames the alcohol for his behavior, but Chuck isn't having it. "The question really is, do you feel like you should apologize to everybody?" he insists. There is some squabble over whose idea it was to apologize in the first place, but Andrei separately admits he's just trying to mend everything for Elizabeth.
Andrei also says to Charlie that they were both at fault. Charlie stubbornly refuses to admit he had a hand in the argument. After a tense conversation, they all shake hands and agree to move forward.
How Many Times Can a Wedding Be Cancelled?
Michael's aunt tries to understand why he is putting up with Angela's stern refusal to conform to the Nigerian culture. "Is it because you want to marry a white woman that you now bring down your honor?" Aunt Lydia asks Michael. "She's bossy, can't you see that?"
Angela returns to the table and tries to get to the bottom of why Michael is trying to "live two lives."
"I am not lying. Our relationship is going to be fifty-fifty," Michael assures Angela. Aunt Lydia also tells Angela she is now unsure of their marriage. Angela leaves again in anger and says the wedding is off.
Next week, Elizabeth's mother and sisters arrive in Moldova, Colt formally invites Jess to Vegas, and Tania fights with Syngin in front of his parents. Plus, Larissa asks for money from Eric, and Asuelu's sister tries to hit Kalani. The Angela and Michael drama continues, so we'll have to keep ping ponging with threats of their wedding being cancelled.
Until next Sunday!
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC