'90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?' Tell All Part 1: Laugh Now, Cry Later (RECAP)
[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Season 5, Episode 16 of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?]
Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, but at least we know now that Colt is a confirmed liar and cheater. That's the biggest takeaway from this week's cringeworthy Part 1 of the Season 5 Tell All, hosted once again by the radiant Shaun Robinson, who looks better than ever. The Zoom reunion—sans Paul and Karine, amidst abuse allegations—kicks off the longest Tell All in 90 Day Fiancé history with three parts spanning a total of five hours. Let's dive into the first course.
Colt & Debbie & Larissa & Jess: The More, the Un-Merrier
Colt immediately expresses discomfort at the idea of confronting both his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend. "It's not fair," he jokes, citing that everyone else has "at least one person there that likes them." Instead, he says both Larissa and Jess hate him. It's still unclear whether that is rightfully so or not.
Debbie chuckles upon seeing Larissa's new face and physique. Colt grins and mutters that he thinks Larissa is emulating Dolly Parton. His references are a little out of date, especially since Larissa looks nothing like the iconic queen Dolly Parton. This is the first time they've seen one another since the Season 4 Tell All. Even Shaun points out that Larissa looks "very different." While Colt says he barely recognizes his ex-wife, Larissa jokes that she could always spot him. "You look fatter than ever," she grins.
"She's just being really a b**ch," Debbie jumps in. Andrei also calls Larissa "Michael Jackson 3.0," but she fires back that at least she has a job. Syngin asks if Larissa is sending money back to her family in Brazil, especially for her three kids. Andrei agrees that he can't relate to her priorities.
A Michigan-based Jess compliments Larissa's new look and announces that her goal is to "destroy" Colt and Debbie. She disses Debbie's bright red shirt, claiming the color suits her because she is the Devil. Debbie voices her conspiracy that Larissa and Jess are out to get Colt because they are both scorned women. Jess just thanks Colt for their breakup, saying she's much happier now.
Elizabeth & Andrei: Moldovan Memories
Elizabeth and Andrei open up about how quarantine has affected their relationship. While he is still a stay-at-home father (although at this moment, everyone is stay-at-home), she slams him for not doing enough to help out.
Shaun also asks how things have changed with Elizabeth's family since their second wedding in Moldova. Chuck, Charlie, and Jenn join the Tell All, but not all of them agree that their relationships have been moving in the right direction. "He just has a cold heart," Jenn insults Andrei.
"He can be aggressive and mean, and there's no excuse in that," Elizabeth responds, shaking her head. Andrei admits that he has to work on himself but doesn't think he's the only one to blame for the rocky status with his in-laws.
Shaun plays back clips of Elizabeth's family insulting Moldova during their trip. Andrei echoes many fans' responses: "it means they don't have a culture, because that pig fat is the bacon that you eat every morning...[they] don't have respect at all." Elizabeth claims it is the first time she's seen the footage and defends Andrei's home country from the accusations by Chuck that the cuisine is "peasant food."
Meanwhile, Charlie doubles down on his take on Moldova. "He's just pointing out facts," Jenn fires back. Syngin, Tania, and even Debbie agree that Elizabeth's family was rude; later, though, the Happily Ever After? cast states that Andrei has an anger problem.
Shaun brings up the argument between Charlie and Andrei at the wedding. Andrei reminds everyone that Charlie was the one who escalated things. Then Andrei's brother and friend Marcel join the Tell All. They both state that Charlie was the one to provoke Andrei.
Jenn claims that even after hearing Marcel's reasoning for Andrei leaving Moldova, the facts are still unclear. Andrei's brother drops a bombshell: "I know for sure that he didn't go from Moldova because he had some issues with the police or issues with the law. I would have known that. He didn't do anything wrong." So who is telling the truth? His brother or Marcel? His brother says that Andrei was "searching for a better life," but it turns out that Andrei didn't even tell his brother the truth. Only Marcel could confirm the story of corruption.
"It raises more questions," Charlie chimes in. However, it very well could be a safety issue for Andrei's brother to even be involved.
Later, Shaun asks if Chuck believes Andrei is using Elizabeth and their family. "I hope not," Chuck says. "I don't want to believe that because that would really crush me."
It turns out that Chuck didn't pay for Jenn's wedding but did foot the bill for Elizabeth's two weddings and her other sister's nuptials. Andrei dubs Jenn a manipulative sh*t-stirrer, and Elizabeth states that the only money she receives from Chuck is her official paycheck from working for him. Andrei does not currently have a job but wants to enter into real estate. He even says he would be willing to work as a "partner" for Chuck but not an employee. Charlie responds with "absolutely not" before Chuck says Andrei will have to prove himself first. Let's be real, who really cares?
Angela & Michael: Newlywed Trust
Shaun beams when looking back on Michael and Angela's relationship. After multiple 90 Day Fiancé spinoffs and seasons, the couple have finally wed. While they are awaiting their spousal visa approval, the two discuss how much they've grown in terms of trust. Angela also is wearing a mask during the Tell All while inside; she says it is not for the pandemic but because she has upcoming dental work.
Shaun confronts Michael for taking Angela to a strip club for their joint bachelor and bachelorette party. Michael claims that his friends selected the location and he was unaware there would be strippers there. Angela opens up about her insecurity around her age and that she felt Michael was looking at younger women. Angela even says she purposefully flirted and danced with Michael's friend Dre at the club to make him jealous. They eventually laugh about it, and Shaun transitions into talking about their wedding.
Angela tears up at the footage of the marriage ceremony and excuses herself for a moment. Michael explains that she got emotional because she was thinking about her deceased mother. Even now she's also mourning the fact that Michael is not by her side.
Colt & Jess: Choking on a Sour "Sweetheart"
Colt and Jess haven't spoken in 10 months. "She might as well be a stranger," he states before accusing Jess of wanting to change him and not really loving him. "What did you love about me, sweetheart?"
After Debbie calls Jess a liar, Debbie walks away from the camera. Jess reminds the cast that Colt was the true liar, who told her that he wanted to marry her and have children with her. "Jess, come on sweetheart," Colt continues with his condescending pet names. "You manipulate men, sweetheart. You throw around sex like it's going out of style...You had me in bed before I even knew your name."
"LIAR!" Larissa jumps in to defend Jess.
"Well clearly lying has been a theme in this relationship," Shaun sums up, calling out Colt's infidelity. Jess diagnoses Colt as a narcissist and says he gets with women to boost his ego without caring about them as people.
"I sent my dick to women because that's what I do for affection when I think my girlfriend has broken up with me," Colt argues. Jess points out that he began sending inappropriate photos before he even went to see Jess in Brazil.
"You have no morals, b**ch!" Larissa claps back.
"I wish you would have sent me one of it," Angela jokes in front of Michael. Shaun asks for the logistics behind these dick pics. Colt says he thinks it's only "polite" to return the favor of nude photos because so many women reach out to him on social media.
Larissa also states that one of Colt's women messaged her with screenshots that he had sent her while he was still married to Larissa. It's clear Colt is a cheater, and once he's cornered with the facts, he throws up his hands literally begging for Jess and Larissa to stop.
Debbie is back, ready to throw daggers. She blames Larissa for ruining Colt's relationship with Jess, but Jess just laughs, citing the multiple times Debbie intervened. "You play with women's minds, Colt. You always want to say the woman is crazy," Jess states. Shaun even asks what really happened between Colt and his former friends with benefits, Vanessa.
"Colt, did you and Vanessa have a sexual relationship?" Shaun asks. Colt smiles. He finally tells Jess that he slept with Vanessa before he met Jess and was with her after Jess left him.
Kalani & Asuelu: Blame & Shame
Shaun asks what led to Asuelu returning to Utah and moving back with in with Kalani. Apparently Asuelu just showed up at the house without speaking with her first. "Today we are together and we are living together. But we aren't anywhere near where we used to be," Kalani explains. "We're just in a really rocky place right now."
Their cycle of separation was started once the pandemic hit. Apparently the couple is still arguing about Asuelu playing volleyball and potentially exposing himself to COVID by socializing and not wearing a mask. Volleyball also allows him to avoid parenting. He also is still hosting dance classes, for which he gets paid. "I feel like it's not really necessary. It doesn't bring that much money in, so for me it would just be better for him to stay home," Kalani stresses. "Because of how much money he makes versus how many people he's around, it's not worth the risk."
Kalani is worried about living with her parents and Asuelu's exposure, especially since her mother has a pre-existing heart condition. "I feel like [Asuelu's actions] are irresponsible," Kalani's mother Lisa explains. "He doesn't care about anyone but himself...Going to things that he doesn't need to go to is not OK."
Kalani's sister Kolini says that Asuelu's actions are learned behavior and he doesn't think about his family first. "He can't stand anything. He doesn't know how to cope with anything," Kolini tells him.
Asuelu states that he doesn't believe there is a difference between playing volleyball and going to the grocery store. Tania has to explain how those two activities are very dissimilar. Asuelu's superstitions are also an excuse for him to "prove" that his ideology is more accurate than hers.
Asuelu later tries to storm off in a literal tantrum, and Kalani has to hold him down like a child. Even Shaun rolls her eyes a little. Then we have the wonderful additions of Asuelu's mother and sister Tammy. Of course Tammy says that Asuelu is being "attacked" but then contradicts herself by saying Kalani should be the one to stand up to him. Kolini points out the double standard, and Tammy is not having it.
The issue of money is brought up once more. The now-iconic clip of Kalani calmly walking away as Tammy threatens to "beat her up" is played. Asuelu says he is upset after viewing the footage and starts to tear up especially after it's shown that Asuelu's mother was on camera saying she didn't care about her grandchildren. Yikes.
Next week on Part 2 of the Tell All, Asuelu stands up for Kalani and their children. Tammy takes on Kolini and even tries to intimidate her with physical violence as well. Shaun later brings on Syngin's former roommates to speak out on Tania. Michael's aunt also asks Angela when she'll go through the IVF process, to which Angela asks how that'll even be financially feasible. "Michael, I am 54 for crying out loud!" she yells.
Vanessa also seems to confirm that she had sexual relations with Colt during his relationship with Jess. Larissa makes a secret announcement about Colt, no doubt involving sex. Colt is shown just putting his head in his hands. We can't wait to find out what that's about....
Until next time!
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC