‘The Bachelorette’ 2019 Episode 5: Luke P. Says Everybody Loves Him… and Wait, What? (RECAP)
Last week, we were left off with the first “To Be Continued” of the 2019 Bachelorette season (thanks a lot, Chris Harrison), and I’ve had many sleepless nights since. So many questions are left unanswered. How will Hannah Brown handle the Luke P. vs. Luke S. drama? Will Luke P. finally be sent home?
There’s lots to unpack this week, so let’s jump right into what happened on tonight’s episode with the latest recap.
Luke vs. Luke
So, Hannah pulls Luke P. and Luke S. aside to figure out which Luke is the right Luke for her. (Spoiler alert: Neither Luke.) Once again, we hear about how Luke P. told Hannah that Luke S. was only on the show to promote his non-existent tequila company. THE LIES! Luke P. sticks with his lies and says that Luke S. “forced” him to tell Hannah good things about him. Are we really doing this again, boys?
Hannah gets up and walks away because clearly she’s the only sane person in this room. Chris Harrison then breaks up the Luke vs. Luke chat and tells them that the cocktail party is getting cut short and it’s time for the rose ceremony. Dun dun DUN.
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Just as the rose ceremony is about to start, Luke S. asks Hannah to talk. He tells her to keep her eyes open in this process and then eliminates himself. He must’ve known his chances of getting a rose were slim.
Hannah comes back and lets the guys know that Luke S. is a goner. One of the guys says, “Nice one, Luke P. I hope you got what you wanted.” Uh, yeah actually I’m pretty sure this is *exactly* what he wanted.
The last rose is on the table and it’s down to Luke P. (surprise), John Paul Jones (don’t go!), and Matteo (who?). Luke P. gets the rose and I think I can hear the screams of all of Bachelor Nation from my living room.
Hannah announces that they’re headed to Scotland and, because we don’t hate him enough just yet, Luke decides to make an unnecessary toast.
“To finding your forever, and having the time of our lives while on the hunt,” he says. DO LESS, LUKE.
Mike’s one-on-one date
Mike gets the first one-on-one date and he and Hannah explore Scotland. They stumble into a book store and Mike reads to Hannah. Then, they walk into a candy store and they try really sour candy. ABC is clearly pulling out all the stops for this date.
Later at dinner, Hannah reveals that she’s struggled in relationships in the past because she didn’t love herself. Mike admits he hasn’t been in love in years and he’s terrified. Honestly, I’m kind of bored.
“I could see myself getting down on one knee in a few weeks if I’m so lucky,” he says. Literally all they did was eat sour candy and now he’s in love. Cool. Needless to say, Mike gets the rose.
The group date
So, on the group date, the guys find out that they’re going to be throwing axes, and screaming, and running with buckets of milk.
Jed wins because he’s the best at being manly. Hooray for Jed. Hannah kisses him right in front of everyone. Scandalous.
Later that evening, Hannah gets some quality time with the guys. And by quality time, I mean quality physical time.
Hannah and Peter give us a glimpse of what could happen in their fantasy suite by making out aggressively on the pool table. Isn’t this a family show? This is getting a little intense. Peter admits the make out is “hot” and “sexy”.
Jed and Tyler C. also get pretty intense kisses from Hannah, but Jed ends up getting the group date rose. Big day for Jed.
Hannah comes to the realization that this group date didn’t contain any drama when Luke P. wasn’t around. She’s finally starting to realize that he’s the problem. Nice work, Hannah. Baby steps.
Luke P.’s one-on-one date
Luke gets the one-on-one date and tells the guys that he’s plans to use this date to figure out how he feels about Hannah. This is still the guy that said he was falling in love with her on day two, right? OK, just checking.
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Garrett warns Luke that he better keep their names out of his mouth while he’s on the date with Hannah. Luke agrees. Something tells me this is foreshadowing.
Hannah admits she has a lot of anxiety for her date with Luke. This is clearly off to a great start.
Hannah asks Luke why the guys don’t like him. He ONCE AGAIN brings up Luke S. and how he didn’t have good intentions. The guy isn’t even here anymore and he’s still getting thrown under the bus. He also says the guys are always on his case and questioning everything he says and does. Fair, but that’s because you’re an a**hole, Luke.
To make matters even worse, Luke says that he doesn’t understand why the guys don’t like him, because in his real life, everyone loves him. Everyone. LOVES. him. How? Who are these people? I would like to meet them.
He admits that the guys in the house aren’t affecting his feelings for Hannah. Hannah doesn’t seem impressed.
“There’s no feelings behind the things that he’s saying,” she says. Hannah walks away and vents to a producer who tells her she needs to make him feel human emotions. This should be a challenge.
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Hannah gives up on trying to make Luke be less like a sociopath. Later at dinner, Hannah continues to tell Luke why he sucks so bad.
“I don’t want to come off like I’m trying to be perfect. I just want to be me,” he says. Sigh. Hannah admits this was the worst date of the season and she tells Luke she can’t give him the rose.
The episode ends without a rose ceremony and in the clip for next week, we see Hannah have a mental breakdown, Chris Harrison questioning if she’s still willing to “do this” (LOL, every season), and Luke P. praying in church. There’s definitely more drama to come. Until next week!
The Bachelorette, Mondays, 8/7c, ABC