'The Bachelorette' 2019 Episode 4: If You're Looking Up the Definition of Psychopath, You're a Psychopath (RECAP)

Stefanie Parker
Spoiler Alert

We're officially four weeks into this season of The Bachelorette and time sure does fly when you're watching grown men make fools of themselves having fun. It seems like only yesterday Hannah Brown was giving the first impression rose to Cam on the After The Final Rose special. LOL, memories. Clearly, a lot can change in a matter of weeks. (Sorry, Cam.)

But even with ABC gone, it doesn't look like the drama is going to slow down any time soon. The group heads to Newport, Rhode Island for the first stop of their journey, so let's dive right in and find out what happened on tonight's episode with the latest recap...

Jed's one-on-one date

Jed gets the first one-on-one date this episode and he and Hannah explore the city of Boston together. Hannah proves that she remembers literally nothing from middle school history class and makes up "fake facts" about America. They head to the Cheers bar and make out in front of strangers. Fun!

Who Is Hannah Calling Out for Sex-Shaming Her in the 'Bachelorette' Trailer?

Who Is Hannah Calling Out for Sex-Shaming Her in the 'Bachelorette' Trailer?

'I have had sex and Jesus still loves me. How dare I be judged by a man?' she says through tears in the new clip. 

"Being with Jed feels natural. There's no pressure to be perfect," Hannah says. Well, duh, you literally just made up fake historical facts and the guy is still doting over you.

Hannah and Jed end up meeting with the Boston Celtics to shoot a few hoops and it's nice to see that Hannah's basketball skills are a bit better than her history lessons.

 

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Later in the evening, the two have dinner and a very honest conversation. Jed opens up about how passionate he is about being a musician, and admits that when he initially signed up for the show, he was hoping he could use it to further his music career. (I mean, duh?) However, fear not! He apparently no longer cares if the show catapults him to fame (that was quick), because he's now 100 percent invested in Hannah. Jed gets the rose and they live happily ever after.

"I feel something growing inside of me that I've never felt before" he admits. "It's beyond a show at this point."

How to Follow 'Bachelorette' 2019 Contestants on Instagram (PHOTOS)

How to Follow 'Bachelorette' 2019 Contestants on Instagram (PHOTOS)

Sure, we know the basics from their ABC bios, but what do we really know about them? A good place to start is social media.

The rugby date

OK, so Hannah takes the boys — Peter, Luke P., Luke S., Garrett, Dustin, Devin, John Paul Jones, Dylan, Matteo, Grant, Kevin, and Mike — to play rugby and I'd like to personally shake hands with the producer who decided that Luke P. should be on the most aggressive Bachelorette date possible, because they clearly deserve a raise. Hannah seems to really enjoy watching the boys throw one another to the ground, and I'm no psychic, but it's pretty easy to figure out what's about to go down here. Foreshadow alert: Any date that starts with Hannah listing "being safe" as a priority will obviously end in an injury of some sort.

Oh, would you look at that? Luke S. gets thrown on his back and a knee to the face by everyone's favorite stage five clinger, Luke P.  You know what, maybe I am a psychic.

 

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At the cocktail party, Hannah pulls Luke P. aside and in an effort to divert any negative attention away from himself, he proceeds to throw Luke S. under the bus, claiming that he's only on the show to promote his brand. (What brand, you ask? Well apparently Luke S. has a tequila line that he hasn't even launched yet. Thinking it should be called "Luke P.'s tears".)

Luke S. shares his side of the story with Hannah and reveals that Luke P. picked him up, threw him to the ground, knocked the wind out of him, and kicked him in the head. Yikes, rough. But, lucky for Luke P., he "doesn't remember" doing anything and therefore it didn't happen. Convenient!

What Happened to Tyler G. on 'The Bachelorette'?

What Happened to Tyler G. on 'The Bachelorette'?

Tyler G. mysteriously left the show during Episode 3, but it was never addressed why he made his exit.

Tyler C.'s one-on-one date

Hannah's clearly distraught over the drama with Luke P., so her date with Tyler C. starts off a bit rocky. Tyler ends up consoling Hannah and reassuring her that he wants to be by her side lifting her up. Pretty sure every woman in America is falling in love at this very moment.

The two go fishing for lobster and Tyler asks if she wants some tail. Yes, a thousand times, yes.

Later at dinner, Tyler opens up about how his father previously had a health scare and that it almost prevented him from joining the show. He admits that he watched Colton's season of The Bachelor with his dad and had his eye on Hannah from the very beginning. Funny that this is similar to what Luke P. said to Hannah on night one, except this seems real and authentic and not at all creepy. Keep it up, Tyler.

The two head to a Jake Owen concert and dance to "I Was Made For You" in front of a crowd of screaming fans. My heart is exploding.

What Happened Between Luke P. & Luke S.? Examining the 'Bachelorette' Body-Slam (VIDEO)

What Happened Between Luke P. & Luke S.? Examining the 'Bachelorette' Body-Slam (VIDEO)

The Battle of Lukes started during last night's fourth episode of Hannah's season.

The cocktail party

At the cocktail party, Pete the Pilot pulls Hannah aside and, because he's the most adorable guy ever, asks her to be his girlfriend. While they're basically already boyfriend and girlfriend at this point (just not exclusive, obvs), it's kind of precious of him to ask. TBH, if any of the other guys asked Hannah the same question, I can see it being a little cheesy, but it's Peter so therefore it's sweet and endearing.

"I'm OK with you dating, like, 14 other guys at the same time," he says with a smile. Well good, Peter, because that part is non-negotiable.

"I would love to be your girlfriend," Hannah replies. You guys!!!!

Hannah and Peter.

While Hannah and Peter are busy making googly eyes at one another, the Luke P. drama continues with the rest of the house. Mike confronts him for his behavior on the rugby field and — shocker — he doesn't take it well. The conversation goes a little something like this:

Mike: You kneed Luke S. in the face. Hannah's unhappy and everybody hates you.

Luke P: Well, I'm rubber and you're glue. Also, the sky isn't red, it's blue.

Mike then refers to Luke P. as a psychopath and Luke P. LOOKS UP THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD PSYCHOPATH to prove that he is, in fact, not a psychopath. Seems like psychopathic behavior if you ask me.

 

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From here, there's a lot of back and forth between the Lukes and Hannah. This is exhausting. Here's what you need to know:

  1. Luke P. tells Hannah that Luke S. is only here for his "brand" (we knew this part already, but it comes up again and this is a very thorough recap).
  2. Hannah talks with Luke S. and seems to be a bit unsure about who to trust. WTF, Hannah??
  3. Luke P. admits to the group that he knows Luke S. isn't just on the show to promote his non existent tequila brand. He says that he'll tell Hannah that he lied.
  4. Luke P. talks with Hannah and LIES AGAIN and says Luke S. asked him to put in a "good word" for him.
  5. Hannah organizes a Luke-on-Luke conversation to find out who's telling the truth.
  6. I'm legitimately afraid.
  7. ABC (the television network) hits us with the first To Be Continued of the season.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK, guys...

The Bachelorette, Mondays, 8/7c, ABC