Two and a Half Men

Tuesday, September 30

Yes, Monsignor

Season 2 • Episode 9

Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right.

Tuesday, September 30

The Salmon Under My Sweater

Season 2 • Episode 10

Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics.

Tuesday, September 30

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

Season 2 • Episode 11

Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.

Tuesday, September 30

A Lungful of Alan

Season 2 • Episode 12

The brothers compete for the attentions of Alan's high-school friend.

Tuesday, September 30

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

Season 2 • Episode 13

When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.

Tuesday, September 30

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

Season 2 • Episode 14

Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.

Tuesday, September 30

Smell the Umbrella Stand

Season 2 • Episode 15

Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.

Tuesday, September 30

Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

Season 2 • Episode 16

Alan and Charlie spend an eye-opening week caring for Jake.

Wednesday, October 1

Of Course He's Dead -- Part One

Season 12 • Episode 15

Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.

Wednesday, October 1

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Season 6 • Episode 7

Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.

Wednesday, October 1

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Season 3 • Episode 17

Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.

Wednesday, October 1

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

Season 11 • Episode 11

Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice.

Wednesday, October 1

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Season 11 • Episode 12

Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.

Wednesday, October 1

Bite Me, Supreme Court

Season 11 • Episode 13

Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.

Wednesday, October 1

Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe

Season 11 • Episode 14

Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.

Wednesday, October 1

My Son's Enormous Head

Season 6 • Episode 18

Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick.

Wednesday, October 1

The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 • Episode 19

Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.

Wednesday, October 1

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 • Episode 20

Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.

Wednesday, October 1

Above Exalted Cyclops

Season 6 • Episode 21

Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.

Wednesday, October 1

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

Season 2 • Episode 19

Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.

Wednesday, October 1

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Season 2 • Episode 20

Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.

Wednesday, October 1

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

Season 2 • Episode 21

Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died.

Wednesday, October 1

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Season 2 • Episode 22

After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her.

Wednesday, October 1

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Season 2 • Episode 23

Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.

Wednesday, October 1

Does This Smell Funny to You?

Season 2 • Episode 24

Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.

Wednesday, October 1

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 3 • Episode 1

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.

Wednesday, October 1

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Season 3 • Episode 2

Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.

Thursday, October 2

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Season 9 • Episode 1

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

Thursday, October 2

The Mooch at the Boo

Season 6 • Episode 9

Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter.

Thursday, October 2

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Season 3 • Episode 18

Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend.

Thursday, October 2

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Season 11 • Episode 15

Alan asks Lyndsey to make a choice; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.

Thursday, October 2

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Season 11 • Episode 16

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister.

Thursday, October 2

Welcome Home, Jake

Season 11 • Episode 17

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden wants Barry to find his own place.

Thursday, October 2

West Side Story

Season 11 • Episode 18

Walden's ex invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

Thursday, October 2

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Season 6 • Episode 22

Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.

Thursday, October 2

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

Season 6 • Episode 23

When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.

Thursday, October 2

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

Season 6 • Episode 24

Charlie begins to question his relationship with Chelsea.

Thursday, October 2

818-jklpuzo

Season 7 • Episode 1

Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.

Thursday, October 2

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Season 3 • Episode 5

Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.

Thursday, October 2

Hi, Mr. Horned One

Season 3 • Episode 6

Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Thursday, October 2

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Season 3 • Episode 7

Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.

Thursday, October 2

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Season 3 • Episode 8

Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.

Thursday, October 2

Madame and Her Special Friend

Season 3 • Episode 9

Alan is propositioned by one of Charlie's elderly neighbors; Charlie tries to stop Jake.

Thursday, October 2

Something Salted and Twisted

Season 3 • Episode 10

Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.

Thursday, October 2

Santa's Village of the Damned

Season 3 • Episode 11

Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.

Thursday, October 2

That Special Tug

Season 3 • Episode 12

Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.

Friday, October 3

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Season 9 • Episode 3

Alan helps Walden get ready for a date with Bridget; Jake decides to drop out of school.

Friday, October 3

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Season 6 • Episode 10

When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.

Friday, October 3

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Season 3 • Episode 19

Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell.

Friday, October 3

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Season 11 • Episode 19

Walden reconnects with Kate and becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets Vivian.

Friday, October 3

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Season 11 • Episode 20

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

Friday, October 3

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Season 11 • Episode 21

Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a trip.

Friday, October 3

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 11 • Episode 22

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Friday, October 3

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Season 7 • Episode 2

Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.

Friday, October 3

Mmm, Fish. Yum

Season 7 • Episode 3

Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.

Friday, October 3

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Season 7 • Episode 4

Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.

Friday, October 3

For the Sake of the Child

Season 7 • Episode 5

After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.

Saturday, October 4

The Devil's Lube

Season 6 • Episode 11

When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.

Saturday, October 4

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Season 3 • Episode 20

Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.

Saturday, October 4

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

Season 2 • Episode 19

Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.

Saturday, October 4

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Season 2 • Episode 20

Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.

Saturday, October 4

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

Season 2 • Episode 21

Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died.

Saturday, October 4

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Season 2 • Episode 22

After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her.

Saturday, October 4

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Season 2 • Episode 23

Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.

Saturday, October 4

Does This Smell Funny to You?

Season 2 • Episode 24

Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.

Saturday, October 4

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 3 • Episode 1

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.

Saturday, October 4

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Season 3 • Episode 2

Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.

Saturday, October 4

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Season 3 • Episode 3

Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.

Saturday, October 4

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Season 3 • Episode 4

Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.

Saturday, October 4

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Season 3 • Episode 5

Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.

Sunday, October 5

Hi, Mr. Horned One

Season 3 • Episode 6

Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Sunday, October 5

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Season 3 • Episode 7

Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.

Sunday, October 5

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Season 3 • Episode 8

Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.

Sunday, October 5

Madame and Her Special Friend

Season 3 • Episode 9

Alan is propositioned by one of Charlie's elderly neighbors; Charlie tries to stop Jake.

Sunday, October 5

Something Salted and Twisted

Season 3 • Episode 10

Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.

Sunday, October 5

That Special Tug

Season 3 • Episode 12

Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.

Sunday, October 5

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Season 3 • Episode 13

Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.

Sunday, October 5

My Tongue Is Meat

Season 3 • Episode 15

Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.

Sunday, October 5

Ergo, the Booty Call

Season 3 • Episode 16

Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.

Sunday, October 5

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Season 3 • Episode 17

Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.

Sunday, October 5

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Season 3 • Episode 18

Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend.

Sunday, October 5

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Season 3 • Episode 19

Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell.

Sunday, October 5

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Season 3 • Episode 20

Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.

Sunday, October 5

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Season 3 • Episode 24

Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.

Sunday, October 5

Working for Caligula

Season 4 • Episode 1

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.

Sunday, October 5

Who's Vod Kanockers?

Season 4 • Episode 2

Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.

Sunday, October 5

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Season 4 • Episode 3

Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.

Sunday, October 5

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

Season 4 • Episode 4

After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.

Monday, October 6

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Season 1 • Episode 8

Charlie uses his ability to write jingles to produce Jake's school musical.

Monday, October 6

Phase One, Complete

Season 1 • Episode 9

Charlie suspects a woman is using Evelyn and Jake to get to him.

Monday, October 6

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

Season 12 • Episode 1

After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life.

Monday, October 6

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Season 12 • Episode 2

Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a pre-nup.

Monday, October 6

Glamping in a Yurt

Season 12 • Episode 3

Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with a social worker.

Monday, October 6

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Season 12 • Episode 4

A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.

Monday, October 6

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 6

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 6

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 6

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 7

Thank God for Scoliosis

Season 6 • Episode 12

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.

Tuesday, October 7

And the Plot Moistens

Season 3 • Episode 21

Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.

Tuesday, October 7

Oontz Oontz Oontz

Season 12 • Episode 5

Walden takes in a foster child named Louis, but they don't bond as he expected.

Tuesday, October 7

Alan Shot a Little Girl

Season 12 • Episode 6

Alan starts breaking Walden's rules so he can keep up an appearance of being cool in front of Louis.

Tuesday, October 7

Sex With an Animated Ed Asner

Season 12 • Episode 7

Walden and Alan befriend three moms, but things get complicated when Walden falls for one of them.

Tuesday, October 7

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Season 12 • Episode 9

Walden discovers how difficult it is to be with women with Louis in the house.

Tuesday, October 7

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 7

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 7

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 7

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 7

My Tongue Is Meat

Season 3 • Episode 15

Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.

Tuesday, October 7

Ergo, the Booty Call

Season 3 • Episode 16

Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.

Tuesday, October 7

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Season 3 • Episode 17

Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.

Tuesday, October 7

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Season 3 • Episode 18

Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend.

Tuesday, October 7

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Season 3 • Episode 19

Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell.

Tuesday, October 7

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Season 3 • Episode 20

Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.

Tuesday, October 7

And the Plot Moistens

Season 3 • Episode 21

Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.

Tuesday, October 7

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

Season 3 • Episode 22

Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.

Wednesday, October 8

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Season 9 • Episode 5

Alan tries to come to terms with Lyndsey's past; Walden throws a party at the house.

Wednesday, October 8

I Think You Offended Don

Season 6 • Episode 13

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father.

Wednesday, October 8

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

Season 3 • Episode 22

Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.

Wednesday, October 8

Here I Come, Pants!

Season 12 • Episode 10

Alan tries to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker makes a discovery.

Wednesday, October 8

For Whom the Booty Calls

Season 12 • Episode 11

When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he finds it to be a nice getaway from Alan.

Wednesday, October 8

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

Season 12 • Episode 12

Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.

Wednesday, October 8

Boompa Loved His Hookers

Season 12 • Episode 13

Walden fears that breaking up with Ms. McMartin will become an issue; Lyndsey asks Alan to move in.

Wednesday, October 8

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 8

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 8

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 8

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 8

Working for Caligula

Season 4 • Episode 1

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.

Wednesday, October 8

Who's Vod Kanockers?

Season 4 • Episode 2

Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.

Wednesday, October 8

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Season 4 • Episode 3

Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.

Wednesday, October 8

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

Season 4 • Episode 4

After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.

Wednesday, October 8

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Season 4 • Episode 5

Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.

Wednesday, October 8

Apologies for the Frivolity

Season 4 • Episode 6

Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.

Wednesday, October 8

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Season 4 • Episode 7

Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter; Alan satisfies a secret fetish.

Wednesday, October 8

Release the Dogs

Season 4 • Episode 8

Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.

Thursday, October 9

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Season 9 • Episode 7

Jake has feelings for his chemistry tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.

Thursday, October 9

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Season 6 • Episode 14

Melissa thinks Alan is not appreciated by his family.

Thursday, October 9

Arguments for the Quickie

Season 3 • Episode 23

Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.

Thursday, October 9

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

Season 12 • Episode 14

When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift.

Thursday, October 9

Of Course He's Dead -- Part One

Season 12 • Episode 15

Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.

Thursday, October 9

Of Course He's Dead -- Part Two

Season 12 • Episode 16

Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.

Thursday, October 9

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Season 9 • Episode 1

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

Thursday, October 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 9

Walnuts and Demerol

Season 4 • Episode 11

Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party.

Thursday, October 9

Castrating Sheep in Montana

Season 4 • Episode 12

Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter.

Thursday, October 9

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Season 4 • Episode 13

Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb making out.

Thursday, October 9

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Season 4 • Episode 14

Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor.

Thursday, October 9

My Damn Stalker

Season 4 • Episode 15

Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London.

Thursday, October 9

Young People Have Phlegm Too

Season 4 • Episode 16

A more mature woman helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.

Thursday, October 9

I Merely Slept With a Commie

Season 4 • Episode 17

Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.

Thursday, October 9

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Season 4 • Episode 18

Alan tries to bond with Jake; Kandi's new career.

Friday, October 10

Frodo's Headshots

Season 9 • Episode 9

After being released from the hospital, Alan faces challenges that test his mental stability.

Friday, October 10

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

Season 6 • Episode 15

In an attempt to prove he has changed, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.

Friday, October 10

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Season 3 • Episode 24

Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.

Friday, October 10

People Who Love Peepholes

Season 9 • Episode 2

Walden's ex-wife, Bridget (Judy Greer), turns up.

Friday, October 10

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Season 9 • Episode 3

Alan helps Walden get ready for a date with Bridget; Jake decides to drop out of school.

Friday, October 10

Nine Magic Fingers

Season 9 • Episode 4

Walden searches for love; Alan encounters a chance to reconcile with Lyndsey.

Friday, October 10

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Season 9 • Episode 5

Alan tries to come to terms with Lyndsey's past; Walden throws a party at the house.

Friday, October 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, October 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, October 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, October 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

Season 6 • Episode 16

Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

Saturday, October 11

Working for Caligula

Season 4 • Episode 1

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, October 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 13

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Season 1 • Episode 11

Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau.

Monday, October 13

Camel Filters and Pheremones

Season 1 • Episode 12

The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.

Monday, October 13

The Squat and the Hover

Season 9 • Episode 6

Depressed Walden cheers up when he meets a woman who looks very similar to Bridget.

Monday, October 13

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Season 9 • Episode 7

Jake has feelings for his chemistry tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.

Monday, October 13

Thank You for the Intercourse

Season 9 • Episode 8

Alan becomes extremely emotional when Walden redecorates the beach house.

Monday, October 13

Frodo's Headshots

Season 9 • Episode 9

After being released from the hospital, Alan faces challenges that test his mental stability.

Monday, October 13

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 13

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 13

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, October 13

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 14

The Ocu or the Pado?

Season 6 • Episode 17

When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea, her response is nothing like what he'd expected.

Tuesday, October 14

Who's Vod Kanockers?

Season 4 • Episode 2

Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.

Tuesday, October 14

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Season 9 • Episode 10

Walden meets an attractive British woman but remains hesitant to start dating.

Tuesday, October 14

What a Lovely Landing Strip

Season 9 • Episode 11

Bridget (Judy Greer) reappears in Walden's life as he is trying to impress a new love interest.

Tuesday, October 14

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Season 9 • Episode 13

When Walden's mother and ex-wife try to take over his company, he turns to Alan for help.

Tuesday, October 14

A Possum on Chemo

Season 9 • Episode 14

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

Tuesday, October 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, October 14

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Season 4 • Episode 21

Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.

Tuesday, October 14

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Season 4 • Episode 22

Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Tuesday, October 14

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Season 4 • Episode 23

Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.

Tuesday, October 14

Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 4 • Episode 24

Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.

Tuesday, October 14

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Season 5 • Episode 1

Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.

Tuesday, October 14

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Season 5 • Episode 2

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother.

Tuesday, October 14

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Season 5 • Episode 3

Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.

Tuesday, October 14

City of Great Racks

Season 5 • Episode 4

Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.

Wednesday, October 15

What a Lovely Landing Strip

Season 9 • Episode 11

Bridget (Judy Greer) reappears in Walden's life as he is trying to impress a new love interest.

Wednesday, October 15

My Son's Enormous Head

Season 6 • Episode 18

Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick.

Wednesday, October 15

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Season 4 • Episode 3

Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.

Wednesday, October 15

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Season 9 • Episode 15

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

Wednesday, October 15

Not in My Mouth!

Season 9 • Episode 17

A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship.

Wednesday, October 15

The War Against Gingivitis

Season 9 • Episode 18

Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

Wednesday, October 15

Palmdale, Ech

Season 9 • Episode 19

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers; Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

Wednesday, October 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, October 15

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Season 5 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.

Wednesday, October 15

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Wednesday, October 15

Tight's Good

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Wednesday, October 15

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Season 5 • Episode 10

Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.

Wednesday, October 15

Meander to Your Dander

Season 5 • Episode 11

Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.

Wednesday, October 15

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Season 5 • Episode 12

Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.

Wednesday, October 15

The Soil Is Moist

Season 5 • Episode 13

Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.

Wednesday, October 15

Winky-Dink Time

Season 5 • Episode 14

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.

Thursday, October 16

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Season 9 • Episode 13

When Walden's mother and ex-wife try to take over his company, he turns to Alan for help.

Thursday, October 16

The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 • Episode 19

Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.

Thursday, October 16

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

Season 4 • Episode 4

After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.

Thursday, October 16

Grandma's Pie

Season 9 • Episode 20

Walden tells Zoey that he will be going into business with his ex-wife.

Thursday, October 16

Mr. Hose Says Yes

Season 9 • Episode 21

Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.

Thursday, October 16

Why We Gave Up Women

Season 9 • Episode 22

When Alan has a heart attack, Charlie's ghost (Kathy Bates) visits him.

Thursday, October 16

The Straw in My Donut Hole

Season 9 • Episode 23

Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love he receives upon his return from the hospital.

Thursday, October 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, October 16

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Thursday, October 16

If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 • Episode 18

Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.

Thursday, October 16

Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season 5 • Episode 19

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.

Thursday, October 16

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 6 • Episode 1

Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.

Thursday, October 16

Pie Hole, Herb

Season 6 • Episode 2

Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.

Thursday, October 16

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Season 6 • Episode 3

Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.

Thursday, October 16

The Flavin' and the Mavin

Season 6 • Episode 4

Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.

Thursday, October 16

A Jock Strap in Hell

Season 6 • Episode 5

The guys run into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie.

Friday, October 17

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Season 9 • Episode 15

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

Friday, October 17

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 • Episode 20

Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.

Friday, October 17

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Season 4 • Episode 5

Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.

Friday, October 17

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Season 9 • Episode 24

Jake graduates and must decide what to do with his life.

Friday, October 17

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Season 10 • Episode 1

Walden plans a surprise for Zoey's birthday.

Friday, October 17

A Big Bag of Dog

Season 10 • Episode 2

Walden has a breakdown after his relationship with Zoey ends.

Friday, October 17

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

Season 10 • Episode 3

Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.

Friday, October 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, October 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, October 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, October 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Saturday, October 18

Above Exalted Cyclops

Season 6 • Episode 21

Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.

Saturday, October 18

Apologies for the Frivolity

Season 4 • Episode 6

Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.