Two and a Half Men
Cast & Crew
Upcoming TV Airings
The airings below are based on a generic national schedule. Times and dates can vary by TV provider.
Tuesday, March 19
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Season 5 • Episode 10
Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.
Tuesday, March 19
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Season 3 • Episode 7
Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.
Tuesday, March 19
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Season 10 • Episode 7
Walden hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi at the beach house.
Tuesday, March 19
Something My Gynecologist Said
Season 10 • Episode 8
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him.
Tuesday, March 19
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 7 • Episode 22
Charlie's license is suspended; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.
Tuesday, March 19
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Season 8 • Episode 1
Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom.
Tuesday, March 19
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Season 8 • Episode 2
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get him to agree to it.
Tuesday, March 19
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Season 8 • Episode 3
After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
Tuesday, March 19
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Season 8 • Episode 4
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.
Tuesday, March 19
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Season 8 • Episode 5
Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
Tuesday, March 19
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Season 2 • Episode 6
Alan fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits to a nasty trick.
Tuesday, March 19
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Season 2 • Episode 7
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party.
Tuesday, March 19
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Season 2 • Episode 8
Alan meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
Tuesday, March 19
Yes, Monsignor
Season 2 • Episode 9
Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right.
Tuesday, March 19
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Season 2 • Episode 10
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics.
Tuesday, March 19
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Season 2 • Episode 11
Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
Tuesday, March 19
A Lungful of Alan
Season 2 • Episode 12
The brothers compete for the attentions of Alan's high-school friend.
Tuesday, March 19
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
Season 2 • Episode 13
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
Wednesday, March 20
Palmdale, Ech
Season 9 • Episode 19
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers; Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
Wednesday, March 20
Meander to Your Dander
Season 5 • Episode 11
Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.
Wednesday, March 20
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Season 3 • Episode 8
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
Wednesday, March 20
I Scream When I Pee
Season 10 • Episode 9
Alan's famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; Walden tries to make Berta's birthday special.
Wednesday, March 20
One Nut Johnson
Season 10 • Episode 10
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
Wednesday, March 20
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Season 8 • Episode 6
Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.
Wednesday, March 20
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Season 8 • Episode 7
Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.
Wednesday, March 20
Springtime on a Stick
Season 8 • Episode 8
Charlie and Alan try to set Evelyn up with the pharmacist, Russell.
Wednesday, March 20
A Good Time in Central Africa
Season 8 • Episode 9
Charlie falls for the woman who replaces Berta on her days off.
Wednesday, March 20
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Season 8 • Episode 10
Charlie goes on a spending spree for old fling Courtney when she is released from prison.
Wednesday, March 20
Dead From the Waist Down
Season 8 • Episode 11
Ashamed that he can't afford to buy a birthday present for Lyndsey, Alan gets creative.
Wednesday, March 20
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Season 2 • Episode 16
Alan and Charlie spend an eye-opening week caring for Jake.
Wednesday, March 20
Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
Season 2 • Episode 17
Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor.
Wednesday, March 20
It Was Mame, Mom
Season 2 • Episode 18
Charlie and Alan pose as a gay couple in order to impress a gay ad executive.
Wednesday, March 20
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Season 2 • Episode 19
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.
Wednesday, March 20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Season 2 • Episode 20
Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.
Wednesday, March 20
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Season 2 • Episode 21
Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died.
Wednesday, March 20
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Season 2 • Episode 22
After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her.
Wednesday, March 20
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Season 2 • Episode 23
Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.
Thursday, March 21
Mr. Hose Says Yes
Season 9 • Episode 21
Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.
Thursday, March 21
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Season 5 • Episode 12
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
Thursday, March 21
Madame and Her Special Friend
Season 3 • Episode 9
A wealthy, elderly woman (Cloris Leachman) sets her sights on Alan.
Thursday, March 21
Welcome to Alancrest
Season 10 • Episode 12
Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.
Thursday, March 21
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Season 10 • Episode 13
Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal his true identity.
Thursday, March 21
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Season 8 • Episode 12
Depressed after his breakup from Courtney, Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist.
Thursday, March 21
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Season 8 • Episode 13
Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.
Thursday, March 21
Looking' for Japanese Subs
Season 8 • Episode 14
Charlie stalks Rose; Eldridge and Jake begin videotaping dangerous stunts.
Thursday, March 21
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Season 8 • Episode 15
Charlie and Rose continue their affair; Alan's business becomes a Ponzi scheme.
Thursday, March 21
That Darn Priest
Season 8 • Episode 16
Rose discovers Alan's Ponzi scheme; Charlie tries to get time alone with Rose.
Thursday, March 21
Pilot
Season 1 • Episode 1
Charlie discovers that a man raising a 10-year-old boy attracts the attention of women.
Thursday, March 21
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Season 3 • Episode 2
Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.
Thursday, March 21
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Season 3 • Episode 3
Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.
Thursday, March 21
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Season 3 • Episode 4
Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.
Thursday, March 21
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Season 3 • Episode 5
Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.
Thursday, March 21
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Season 3 • Episode 6
Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
Thursday, March 21
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Season 3 • Episode 7
Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.
Thursday, March 21
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Season 3 • Episode 8
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
Thursday, March 21
Madame and Her Special Friend
Season 3 • Episode 9
A wealthy, elderly woman (Cloris Leachman) sets her sights on Alan.
Friday, March 22
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Season 9 • Episode 23
Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love he receives upon his return from the hospital.
Friday, March 22
The Soil Is Moist
Season 5 • Episode 13
Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.
Friday, March 22
Something Salted and Twisted
Season 3 • Episode 10
Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.
Friday, March 22
Run Steven Staven! Run!
Season 10 • Episode 14
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house.
Friday, March 22
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Season 10 • Episode 15
When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned.
Friday, March 22
Big Flappy Bastards
Season 1 • Episode 2
Charlie does not know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room.
Friday, March 22
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Season 1 • Episode 3
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
Friday, March 22
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Season 1 • Episode 4
Alan tries to take over the housework after his neurotic demands scare away Charlie's cleaning lady.
Friday, March 22
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Season 1 • Episode 5
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
Friday, March 22
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Season 1 • Episode 6
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up.
Friday, March 22
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Season 1 • Episode 7
For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.
Saturday, March 23
Winky-Dink Time
Season 5 • Episode 14
Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.
Saturday, March 23
Santa's Village of the Damned
Season 3 • Episode 11
Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.
Saturday, March 23
That Special Tug
Season 3 • Episode 12
Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
Saturday, March 23
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Season 3 • Episode 13
Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.
Saturday, March 23
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Season 3 • Episode 14
Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in hopes of consummating their relationship.
Saturday, March 23
My Tongue Is Meat
Season 3 • Episode 15
Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.
Saturday, March 23
Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 • Episode 16
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
Saturday, March 23
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Season 3 • Episode 17
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.
Saturday, March 23
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Season 3 • Episode 18
Paying his young girlfriend's bills financially straps Alan.
Saturday, March 23
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Season 3 • Episode 19
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house.
Saturday, March 23
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Season 3 • Episode 20
Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.
Saturday, March 23
And the Plot Moistens
Season 3 • Episode 21
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.
Saturday, March 23
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 • Episode 22
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
Sunday, March 24
Phase One, Complete
Season 1 • Episode 9
Charlie suspects a woman is using Evelyn and Jake to get to him.
Sunday, March 24
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Season 1 • Episode 11
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau.
Sunday, March 24
Camel Filters and Pheremones
Season 1 • Episode 12
The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.
Sunday, March 24
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Season 1 • Episode 13
Charlie drags his ailing brother to a men's steam room.
Sunday, March 24
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Season 1 • Episode 14
Charlie's accountant (Richard Lewis) tries to explain his financial woes.
Sunday, March 24
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Season 1 • Episode 17
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
Monday, March 25
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Season 1 • Episode 3
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
Monday, March 25
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Season 1 • Episode 4
Alan tries to take over the housework after his neurotic demands scare away Charlie's cleaning lady.
Monday, March 25
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Season 10 • Episode 17
When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together.
Monday, March 25
The 9:04 From Pemberton
Season 10 • Episode 18
After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.
Monday, March 25
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Season 1 • Episode 8
Charlie uses his ability to write jingles to produce Jake's school musical.
Monday, March 25
Phase One, Complete
Season 1 • Episode 9
Charlie suspects a woman is using Evelyn and Jake to get to him.
Monday, March 25
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Season 1 • Episode 11
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau.
Monday, March 25
Camel Filters and Pheremones
Season 1 • Episode 12
The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.
Monday, March 25
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Season 1 • Episode 13
Charlie drags his ailing brother to a men's steam room.
Monday, March 25
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Season 1 • Episode 14
Charlie's accountant (Richard Lewis) tries to explain his financial woes.
Tuesday, March 26
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Season 5 • Episode 15
Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.
Tuesday, March 26
That Special Tug
Season 3 • Episode 12
Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
Tuesday, March 26
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Season 10 • Episode 19
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.
Tuesday, March 26
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Season 10 • Episode 20
Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend with her daughter.
Tuesday, March 26
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Season 1 • Episode 15
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie (Jenna Elfman).
Tuesday, March 26
That Was Saliva, Alan
Season 1 • Episode 16
Frankie (Jenna Elfman) divulges her big secret, then falls for one of the brothers.
Tuesday, March 26
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Season 1 • Episode 17
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
Tuesday, March 26
An Old Flame With a New Wick
Season 1 • Episode 18
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
Tuesday, March 26
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Season 1 • Episode 19
Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.
Tuesday, March 26
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Season 1 • Episode 20
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist.
Tuesday, March 26
That Special Tug
Season 3 • Episode 12
Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
Tuesday, March 26
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Season 3 • Episode 13
Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.
Tuesday, March 26
My Tongue Is Meat
Season 3 • Episode 15
Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.
Tuesday, March 26
Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 • Episode 16
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
Tuesday, March 26
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Season 3 • Episode 17
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis.
Tuesday, March 26
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Season 3 • Episode 18
Paying his young girlfriend's bills financially straps Alan.
Tuesday, March 26
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Season 3 • Episode 19
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house.
Tuesday, March 26
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Season 3 • Episode 20
Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.
Wednesday, March 27
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Season 10 • Episode 1
Walden plans a surprise for Zoey's birthday.
Wednesday, March 27
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Season 5 • Episode 16
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.
Wednesday, March 27
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Season 3 • Episode 13
Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.
Wednesday, March 27
Another Night With Neil Diamond
Season 10 • Episode 21
Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.
Wednesday, March 27
My Bodacious Vidalia
Season 10 • Episode 22
With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma.
Wednesday, March 27
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Season 1 • Episode 21
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's settlement by sleeping with his attorney.
Wednesday, March 27
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Season 1 • Episode 22
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking.
Wednesday, March 27
Just Like Buffalo
Season 1 • Episode 23
Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Wednesday, March 27
Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 1 • Episode 24
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
Wednesday, March 27
Back Off Mary Poppins
Season 2 • Episode 1
Alan begs Charlie to let him join his exclusive men's group.
Wednesday, March 27
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Season 2 • Episode 2
Alan is upset that Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician.
Wednesday, March 27
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 • Episode 22
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
Wednesday, March 27
Arguments for the Quickie
Season 3 • Episode 23
Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
Wednesday, March 27
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 • Episode 24
Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
Wednesday, March 27
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Season 5 • Episode 1
Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.
Wednesday, March 27
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Season 5 • Episode 2
Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother.
Wednesday, March 27
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Season 5 • Episode 3
Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.
Wednesday, March 27
City of Great Racks
Season 5 • Episode 4
Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.
Wednesday, March 27
The Soil Is Moist
Season 5 • Episode 13
Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.
Thursday, March 28
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Season 10 • Episode 3
Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.
Thursday, March 28
Fish in a Drawer
Season 5 • Episode 17
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.
Thursday, March 28
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Season 3 • Episode 14
Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in hopes of consummating their relationship.
Thursday, March 28
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Season 10 • Episode 23
Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old, but ends up being more interested in her grandmother.
Thursday, March 28
Nangnangnangnang
Season 11 • Episode 1
Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.
Thursday, March 28
A Bag Full of Jawea
Season 2 • Episode 3
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher.
Thursday, March 28
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Season 2 • Episode 4
Charlie's mother borrows the Mercedes to impress a Saudi prince.
Thursday, March 28
Bad News From the Clinic
Season 2 • Episode 5
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
Thursday, March 28
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Season 2 • Episode 6
Alan fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits to a nasty trick.
Thursday, March 28
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Season 2 • Episode 7
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party.
Thursday, March 28
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Season 2 • Episode 8
Alan meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
Thursday, March 28
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Season 5 • Episode 7
Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.
Thursday, March 28
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Season 5 • Episode 8
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.
Thursday, March 28
Tight's Good
Season 5 • Episode 9
Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister (Jenny McCarthy).
Thursday, March 28
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Season 5 • Episode 10
Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.
Thursday, March 28
Meander to Your Dander
Season 5 • Episode 11
Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.
Thursday, March 28
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Season 5 • Episode 12
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
Thursday, March 28
Winky-Dink Time
Season 5 • Episode 14
Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.
Thursday, March 28
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Season 5 • Episode 15
Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.
Friday, March 29
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Season 10 • Episode 5
Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
Friday, March 29
If My Hole Could Talk
Season 5 • Episode 18
Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.
Friday, March 29
My Tongue Is Meat
Season 3 • Episode 15
Charlie sneaks cigars, beer and burgers behind Mia's back.
Friday, March 29
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Season 11 • Episode 2
Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (Carl Reiner).
Friday, March 29
This Unblessed Biscuit
Season 11 • Episode 3
When Berta hurts her back at work, Alan and Walden think she should retire.
Friday, March 29
Yes, Monsignor
Season 2 • Episode 9
Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right.
Friday, March 29
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Season 2 • Episode 10
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics.
Friday, March 29
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Season 2 • Episode 11
Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
Friday, March 29
A Lungful of Alan
Season 2 • Episode 12
The brothers compete for the attentions of Alan's high-school friend.
Friday, March 29
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
Season 2 • Episode 13
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
Friday, March 29
Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts
Season 2 • Episode 14
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
Saturday, March 30
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 5 • Episode 19
Charlie meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.
Saturday, March 30
Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 • Episode 16
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
Saturday, March 30
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 • Episode 24
Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
Saturday, March 30
Working for Caligula
Season 4 • Episode 1
Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.
Saturday, March 30
Who's Vod Kanockers?
Season 4 • Episode 2
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor causes trouble.
Saturday, March 30
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Season 4 • Episode 3
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
Saturday, March 30
A Pot-Smoking Monkey
Season 4 • Episode 4
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
Saturday, March 30
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Season 4 • Episode 5
Alan and Charlie try to help Herb and Jake bond.
Saturday, March 30
Apologies for the Frivolity
Season 4 • Episode 6
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
Saturday, March 30
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Season 4 • Episode 7
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter.
Saturday, March 30
Release the Dogs
Season 4 • Episode 8
Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes..
Saturday, March 30
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Season 4 • Episode 9
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
Saturday, March 30
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Season 4 • Episode 10
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper.
Sunday, March 31
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Sunday, March 31
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Sunday, March 31
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Sunday, March 31
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Sunday, March 31
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Sunday, March 31
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Season 1 • Episode 5
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
Monday, April 1
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Season 1 • Episode 6
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Monday, April 1
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Season 6 • Episode 1
Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.
Tuesday, April 2
And the Plot Moistens
Season 3 • Episode 21
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Tuesday, April 2
If My Hole Could Talk
Season 5 • Episode 18
Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.
Tuesday, April 2
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 5 • Episode 19
Charlie meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.
Tuesday, April 2
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Season 6 • Episode 1
Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.
Tuesday, April 2
Pie Hole, Herb
Season 6 • Episode 2
Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.
Tuesday, April 2
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Season 6 • Episode 3
Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.
Tuesday, April 2
The Flavin' and the Mavin
Season 6 • Episode 4
Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.
Tuesday, April 2
A Jock Strap in Hell
Season 6 • Episode 5
The guys run into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie.
Tuesday, April 2
It's Always Nazi Week
Season 6 • Episode 6
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.
Wednesday, April 3
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Season 10 • Episode 7
Walden hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi at the beach house.
Wednesday, April 3
Pie Hole, Herb
Season 6 • Episode 2
Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.
Wednesday, April 3
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 • Episode 22
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Wednesday, April 3
The Mooch at the Boo
Season 6 • Episode 9
Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter.
Wednesday, April 3
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Season 6 • Episode 10
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.
Wednesday, April 3
The Devil's Lube
Season 6 • Episode 11
When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.
Wednesday, April 3
Thank God for Scoliosis
Season 6 • Episode 12
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.
Wednesday, April 3
I Think You Offended Don
Season 6 • Episode 13
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father.
Wednesday, April 3
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Season 6 • Episode 14
Melissa thinks Alan is not appreciated by his family.
Wednesday, April 3
I'd Like to Start With the Cat
Season 6 • Episode 15
In an attempt to prove he has changed, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.
Wednesday, April 3
She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Season 6 • Episode 16
Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.
Thursday, April 4
I Scream When I Pee
Season 10 • Episode 9
Alan's famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; Walden tries to make Berta's birthday special.
Thursday, April 4
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Season 6 • Episode 3
Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.
Thursday, April 4
Arguments for the Quickie
Season 3 • Episode 23
Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Thursday, April 4
The Two Finger Rule
Season 6 • Episode 19
Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.
Thursday, April 4
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Season 6 • Episode 20
Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.
Thursday, April 4
Above Exalted Cyclops
Season 6 • Episode 21
Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.
Thursday, April 4
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Season 6 • Episode 22
Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
Thursday, April 4
Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth
Season 6 • Episode 23
When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
Thursday, April 4
Baseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 6 • Episode 24
Charlie begins to question his relationship with Chelsea.
Thursday, April 4
818-jklpuzo
Season 7 • Episode 1
Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
Thursday, April 4
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Season 7 • Episode 2
Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.
Friday, April 5
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Season 10 • Episode 11
Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.
Friday, April 5
The Flavin' and the Mavin
Season 6 • Episode 4
Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.
Friday, April 5
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 • Episode 24
Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
Friday, April 5
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.