Best Lines of the Week (October 15-21): ‘What a Terrific God-Damned Finale This Is Going to Be’

Martin Short as Oliver in Only Murders in the BUilding
Hulu

This week on television, viewers said both their hellos and goodbyes. The entirety of Locke and Key Season 2 dropped on Netflix, while the first episode of season 3 of Succession premiered over on HBO. Meanwhile, Only Murders in the Building bid farewell with the Season 1 finale.

Over on NBC, Rami Malek made his hosting debut on Saturday Night Live and Jimmy Fallon wrote out his weekly thank-you notes on The Tonight Show.

See below for the standout lines on television this week.

Kendall and Jess receive a phone call from Logan in the car in Succession
HBO Max

Succession (HBO Max)

“What did he say … Any actual legal or physical threats? You know what, I don’t need that in my head. Just put it in an email and send it yourself in case it comes up.”

–Kendall (Jeremy Strong) after hearing some harsh words from Logan (Brian Cox) on a phone call that provided insight into their feud.

Rami Malek performs his opening monologue on Saturday Night Live
Will Heath/NBC

Saturday Night Live (NBC)

“My brother’s a teacher, my sister’s an ER doctor. They are truly incredible people and they’ve devoted their lives to helping others. But I have an Oscar, so…”

Rami Malek introduces his siblings, who were in the live audience, during his opening monologue.

Lou Reed in The Velvet Underground documentary by Todd Haynes
Apple TV+

The Velvet Underground (Apple TV+)

“I thought, ‘That’s what I wanna do, except with a drum and guitar.’”

– Lou Reed discussing the influence of the writings of Alan Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, and more on his musical explorations.

Penn Badgley as Joe Goldberg in You
Netflix

You (Netflix)

“Me, a boy and his mom, who is usually great but occasionally murders people with her bare hands. What could go wrong?”

– Joe (Penn Badgley) narrates about his son and his murderous wife, Love (Victoria Pedretti).

locke and key bode
Netflix

Locke and Key (Netflix)

Tyler: “It’s not likely.”

Bode: “Really? Is it any less likely than moving into a house filled with magical keys?”

–Bodie (Jackson Robert Scott) tries to make Tyler (Connor Jessup) realize that nothing is out of the question at Keyhouse Manor.

Martin Short as Oliver in Only Murders in the Building
Hulu

Only Murders in the Building (Hulu)

“What a terrific god-damned finale this is going to be.”

– Oliver (Martin Short) delivers a meta line about the show’s season finale when he and Mabel (Selena Gomez) identify the building’s killer.

tonight show starring jimmy fallon
NBC

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC)

“Thank you, people who leave out a bowl of candy on Halloween, for basically saying I’m sure you look funny or scary or whatever. Just take a Twix and get off my property.”

Jimmy Fallon calls out people who don’t come to the door for trick or treaters in his weekly thank you note.

 

Jennifer Anniston as Alex Levy in The Morning Show
Apple TV+

The Morning Show (Apple TV+)

Alex: “You spoke to Mitch? Did he tell you that?”

Maggie: “I did. Briefly. All off the record. I can quote him to you. He said, ‘F*ck off.’”

– Alex (Jennifer Aniston) confronts Maggie Brener (Marcia Gay Harden) in her hotel room and asks if Mitch (Steve Carell) confirmed the rumor about their sexual affair.

Lizzie Logan in What Happened, Brittany Murphy
HBO Max

What Happened, Brittany Murphy? (HBO Max)

“Put it in the Criterion Collection. Put in the Hall of Fame. This is one of the greatest movies ever made and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees.”

– Writer Lizzie Logan talks about Clueless, one of Brittany Murphy’s most iconic films.

late show stephen colbert nick offerman
CBS

The Late Show (CBS)

“I hike. And I also chafe, so not very far, please.”

Stephen Colbert invites himself to go hiking with Nick Offerman and his friends.