Best Lines of the Week (September 17-23): ‘Women Who Knock Rarely Make History’

Only Murders in the Building Hulu Mabel Charles

From skillfully comedic monologues by Jennifer Coolidge to delicious line deliveries by Reese Witherspoon, women on TV dominated in terms of this week’s finest dialogue. Nevertheless, the comic genius of so many actors and actresses demands our full appreciation.

Also giving us laughs this week was Hasan Minhaj on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Ariana Grande on The Voice. Over on Dancing with the Stars, host Tyra Banks welcomed viewers back to the ballroom on the first episode of the 30th season.

Scroll down for the lines we laughed out loud at this week!

Jennifer Coolidge Presenting Best Actor at Emmy Awards

73rd Primetime Emmy Awards (CBS)

“I want you all to know, nominees, that you have overcome the incredible handicap of this business…of being men. Bravo, gentleman, wherever you are.”

Jennifer Coolidge delivers a hilariously dramatic speech when presenting the Best Actor Award.

Only Murders in the Building 106 Selena Gomez and Steve Martin

Only Murders in the Building (Hulu)

“Women who knock rarely make history.”

—Mabel (Selena Gomez) after Charles (Steve Martin) chastises her for walking into his apartment unannounced

Reese Witherspoon as Bradley and Billy Crudup as Cory in The Morning Show
Apple TV+

The Morning Show (Apple TV+)

“You know what? F**k you, my ball’s about to drop.”

—Bradley (Reese Witherspoon) angrily confronts Cory (Billy Crudup) before the Times Square Ball drops.


Hasan Minhaj on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC)

“We all know sneezing at the office is the new farting at the office you can’t do it.”

Hasan Minhaj gives life advice to an anonymous submitter asking how many sneezes is too many to bless.

Mallory Jansen as Monica, Scott Foley as Nick in The Big Leap
Sandy Morris/FOX

The Big Leap (FOX)

“We should go with Career Ending Diaper Fire.”

— Monica (Mallory Jansen) offers her choice for the name of their show-within-the-show.

Ariana Grande on The Voice

The Voice (NBC)

I know that you and Kelly have a baby, but I will have a baby for you to be on my team.”

—Ariana Grande trying to lure contestant Katie Rae on her team after Kelly Clarkson tried to bond over having kids

Bronson Webb as Jeremy and Brendan Hunt as Coach Beard in Ted Lasso Season 2
(Apple TV+)

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)

“You did it. You did what Cher couldn’t do.”

—Jeremy (Bronson Webb) to Coach Beard (Brendan Hunt) after they sneak their way into an exclusive, members-only club

Tyra Banks DWTS Season 30 Premiere
ABC/Eric McCandless

Dancing With the Stars (ABC)

“We’re making some history in this ballroom, baby. You better believe it!”

—Host Tyra Banks in the season premiere’s introduction

star wars visions karre

Star Wars: Visions (Disney+)

“Really… so you have a bad feeling about this?”

—Karre (Neil Patrick Harris) to his droid R-DUO during their escape attempt from the Star Destroyer— yet another variation of “I have a bad feeling about this” that continues the running gag in the Star Wars universe

jenny slate late night with seth myers

Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC)

“I was like, ‘just don’t do anything. Just sit next to Alanis and just don’t do anything. Just say your lines.’ And so I went in there, I sat next to Alanis, and I was like, ‘I love you so much! Would you take a picture with me?’”

Jenny Slate on how she tried and failed to keep her cool while meeting Alanis Morissette