Game of Thrones: Good Week for Daughters, Bad Week for Soldiers

Game of Thrones
Helen Sloan/HBO
Game of Thrones

This fourth episode of Season 5 of Game of Thrones, “The Sons of the Harpy,” brought us much knowledge. We learned for Ser Jorah is taking Tyrion to the real Queen—Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, etc., etc.—and that Cersei has completely lost her damn mind. She’s given the High Sparrow his own military force by arming the Faith Militant, who promptly run around the city beating people and chucking them in prison and breaking things. Also, Ellaria Sand is definitely going to use the Sand Snakes, Oberyn’s bastard daughters, to start yet another war, to avenge her dead lover. Here’s who the gods smiled upon, and who had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

A Good Week For…

Jon Snow

Jon got to touch Melisandre’s boob! Of course, he’s still in love with (dead) Ygritte, and he’s Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, so that’s as far as things go. (Except, really, all the oath says is, “I shall take no wife…father no children,” not, “I shall never experience carnal love.”) Melisandre’s interest is interesting, itself. Jon does have king’s blood in him, we suppose, since his half-brother Robb was, however briefly, King in the North, so perhaps that explains her trying to jump his bones and keep him close.

Shireen Baratheon

Shireen got a hug from her dad Stannis! If you don’t know why this is a big deal, you’ve clearly been skipping all the Middle Baratheon Brother scenes. Shireen is such a sweet girl, and despite being royalty, she hasn’t had an easy go of things (see: the greyscale on her face, her shrieking nightmare of a mother). To see her soften Stannis up is about as heartwarming as it gets on this show.

Jaime Lannister

Jaime killed a guy! Not only that, but he wasn’t even wearing any kind of armor in the fight. This is the first time he’s seen real life-or-death action since he lost his sword-hand, and Bronn’s training has done wonders. He calls his victory “luck,” which is a more humble Jaime than we’ve ever seen, but he should give himself some credit for using his gold hand for something other than waving in an amusing manner.

A Bad Week For…

Loras Tyrell

The Faith Militant are not down with Ser Loras’ sexuality, so he ends up locked away in a filthy cell, along with Seven knows how many others. It’s clearly the reason Cersei gave those fanatics weapons in the first place, to strike a blow against Queen Margaery through her brother. It’s almost too ironic a move from someone who’s been sleeping with her own brother for most of her life.

Tommen Baratheon

Being dressed down by your wife for something you didn’t do (imprison her brother) is highly unpleasant. Having to hear yourself called “an abomination” by your subjects in public while you’re just trying to get your brother-in-law released is even worse.

Ser Barristan Selmy and Grey Worm

The Sons of the Harpy—the KKK of Essos—appear to have killed Ser Barristan and Grey Worm in a huge, nasty fight that left just about everyone involved dead. There is a possibility Grey Worm might still be alive, however slim, and that’s what we’ll hold onto until next week. Big, gut-wrenching deaths are par for the Thrones course, but at least leave us something, Benioff and Weiss. Is there a Law of Conservation of Counselors at work? Jorah and Tyrion are on their way to Dany, so Barristan and Grey Worm can be disposed of?