Stephen Colbert Can’t Believe KFC Is Moving HQ to Texas: ‘That Is Finger Licking F*****’

There has been a lot of shocking and confounding news of late, but for The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert, perhaps nothing has upset him more than the announcement that KFC is moving to Texas.

The late-night host opened Wednesday’s (February 19) show by telling viewers, “It feels like every day, we get news of yet another inexplicable, chaotic move seemingly bent on undermining everything we as Americans hold dear.”

“Today is no different,” he continued, “because KFC is moving its corporate headquarters from Kentucky to Texas. That — that is finger-licking f*****!”

Earlier this week, KFC, the iconic fast-food restaurant chain formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken, announced it will be moving its corporate headquarters from Louisville, Kentucky to Plano, Texas.

David Gibbs, the chief executive of KFC owners Yum Brands, said in a statement, “These changes position us for sustainable growth and will help us better serve our customers, employees, franchisees and shareholders.”

However, the decision has faced backlash, including from Andy Beshear, governor of the state of Kentucky, who said, “I am disappointed by this decision and believe the company’s founder would be, too. This company’s name starts with Kentucky, and it has marketed our state’s heritage and culture in the sale of its product.”

Colbert was equally incredulous, stating, “What is going on? What is happening? What’s next? Jersey Mike’s becomes Maine’s Mickey’s? Will Papa John step down as Pizza Pope? Burger King abdicates his throne to marry a common nugget?”

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“Kentucky Fried Chicken isn’t just a name,” the comedian continued. “It’s part of Kentucky history. It was founded nearly a century ago in 1930 in Corbin, Kentucky. Even now, if you purchase KFC somewhere that is not Kentucky, legally, they have to call it ‘sparkling white chicken.’”

Colbert then changed direction, saying, “Speaking of chicken, up in Washington, our government is getting spatchcocked by Elon Musk.”

Addressing the federal employee layoffs as part of Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency initiatives, Colbert said, “The federal workers are naturally experiencing anger, chaos, and confusion, which, coincidentally, are also the Secret Service codenames for Trump, Elon and Don Jr.”

You can watch Colbert’s full opening monologue in the video above and let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.