Two and a Half Men

Sunday, August 31

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Season 7 • Episode 9

Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair.

Sunday, August 31

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Season 7 • Episode 10

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

Sunday, August 31

Warning, It's Dirty

Season 7 • Episode 11

Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Sunday, August 31

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Season 7 • Episode 12

Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship.

Sunday, August 31

Yay, No Polyps!

Season 7 • Episode 13

Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents.

Sunday, August 31

Crude and Uncalled For

Season 7 • Episode 14

A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested someone else.

Sunday, August 31

Aye, Aye, Captain

Season 7 • Episode 15

When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help.

Sunday, August 31

Tinkle Like a Princess

Season 7 • Episode 16

Charlie returns from Las Vegas with the woman he married there, who is not Chelsea.

Sunday, August 31

I Found Your Mustache

Season 7 • Episode 17

Charlie and Chelsea get together for one night, despite having ended their relationship.

Tuesday, September 2

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Season 5 • Episode 6

Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.

Tuesday, September 2

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Season 11 • Episode 4

Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.

Tuesday, September 2

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Season 11 • Episode 5

Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue acting.

Tuesday, September 2

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Season 11 • Episode 6

Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her.

Tuesday, September 2

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Season 11 • Episode 7

Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.

Tuesday, September 2

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

Season 2 • Episode 13

When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.

Tuesday, September 2

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

Season 2 • Episode 14

Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.

Tuesday, September 2

Smell the Umbrella Stand

Season 2 • Episode 15

Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.

Tuesday, September 2

Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

Season 2 • Episode 16

Alan and Charlie spend an eye-opening week caring for Jake.

Tuesday, September 2

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Season 4 • Episode 18

Alan tries to bond with Jake; Kandi's new career.

Tuesday, September 2

Smooth as a Ken Doll

Season 4 • Episode 19

Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.

Tuesday, September 2

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Season 4 • Episode 20

Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.

Tuesday, September 2

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Season 4 • Episode 21

Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts him to re-examine his sexual identity.

Tuesday, September 2

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Season 4 • Episode 22

Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Tuesday, September 2

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Season 4 • Episode 23

Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.

Tuesday, September 2

Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 4 • Episode 24

Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.

Tuesday, September 2

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Season 5 • Episode 1

Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.

Wednesday, September 3

Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe

Season 11 • Episode 14

Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.

Wednesday, September 3

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Season 5 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.

Wednesday, September 3

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

Season 2 • Episode 19

Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.

Wednesday, September 3

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room

Season 11 • Episode 8

When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's help.

Wednesday, September 3

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Season 11 • Episode 9

Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising information.

Wednesday, September 3

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

Season 11 • Episode 11

Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice.

Wednesday, September 3

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Season 11 • Episode 12

Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.

Wednesday, September 3

Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

Season 2 • Episode 17

Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor.

Wednesday, September 3

It Was Mame, Mom

Season 2 • Episode 18

Charlie and Alan pose as a gay couple in order to impress a gay ad executive.

Wednesday, September 3

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

Season 2 • Episode 19

Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends on a date.

Wednesday, September 3

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Season 2 • Episode 23

Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.

Wednesday, September 3

City of Great Racks

Season 5 • Episode 4

Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.

Wednesday, September 3

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Season 5 • Episode 5

Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.

Wednesday, September 3

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Season 5 • Episode 6

Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.

Wednesday, September 3

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Season 5 • Episode 7

Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house.

Wednesday, September 3

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Wednesday, September 3

Tight's Good

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Wednesday, September 3

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Season 5 • Episode 10

Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.

Wednesday, September 3

Meander to Your Dander

Season 5 • Episode 11

Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.

Thursday, September 4

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Season 11 • Episode 16

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister.

Thursday, September 4

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Thursday, September 4

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Season 2 • Episode 20

Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.

Thursday, September 4

Bite Me, Supreme Court

Season 11 • Episode 13

Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.

Thursday, September 4

Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe

Season 11 • Episode 14

Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.

Thursday, September 4

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Season 11 • Episode 15

Alan asks Lyndsey to make a choice; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.

Thursday, September 4

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Season 11 • Episode 16

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister.

Thursday, September 4

Does This Smell Funny to You?

Season 2 • Episode 24

Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.

Thursday, September 4

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 3 • Episode 1

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.

Thursday, September 4

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Season 3 • Episode 2

Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.

Thursday, September 4

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Season 3 • Episode 3

Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.

Thursday, September 4

Winky-Dink Time

Season 5 • Episode 14

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.

Thursday, September 4

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Thursday, September 4

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Season 5 • Episode 16

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.

Thursday, September 4

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Thursday, September 4

If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 • Episode 18

Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight.

Thursday, September 4

Waiting for the Right Snapper

Season 5 • Episode 19

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating.

Thursday, September 4

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 6 • Episode 1

Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.

Thursday, September 4

Pie Hole, Herb

Season 6 • Episode 2

Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.

Friday, September 5

West Side Story

Season 11 • Episode 18

Walden's ex invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

Friday, September 5

Tight's Good

Season 5 • Episode 9

Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister.

Friday, September 5

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

Season 2 • Episode 21

Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died.

Friday, September 5

Welcome Home, Jake

Season 11 • Episode 17

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden wants Barry to find his own place.

Friday, September 5

West Side Story

Season 11 • Episode 18

Walden's ex invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

Friday, September 5

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Season 11 • Episode 19

Walden reconnects with Kate and becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets Vivian.

Friday, September 5

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Season 11 • Episode 20

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

Friday, September 5

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Season 3 • Episode 4

Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.

Friday, September 5

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Season 3 • Episode 5

Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.

Friday, September 5

Hi, Mr. Horned One

Season 3 • Episode 6

Charlie likes dating Isabella, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Friday, September 5

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Season 3 • Episode 7

Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.

Saturday, September 6

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Season 5 • Episode 10

Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.

Saturday, September 6

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Season 2 • Episode 22

After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her.

Saturday, September 6

The Squat and the Hover

Season 9 • Episode 6

Depressed Walden cheers up when he meets a woman who looks very similar to Bridget.

Saturday, September 6

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Season 9 • Episode 7

Jake has feelings for his chemistry tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.

Saturday, September 6

Thank You for the Intercourse

Season 9 • Episode 8

Alan becomes extremely emotional when Walden redecorates the beach house.

Saturday, September 6

Frodo's Headshots

Season 9 • Episode 9

After being released from the hospital, Alan faces challenges that test his mental stability.

Saturday, September 6

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Season 9 • Episode 10

Walden meets an attractive British woman but remains hesitant to start dating.

Saturday, September 6

What a Lovely Landing Strip

Season 9 • Episode 11

Bridget (Judy Greer) reappears in Walden's life as he is trying to impress a new love interest.

Saturday, September 6

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Season 9 • Episode 12

Alan develops a crush on Walden's visiting mother; a secret comes out about Walden's past.

Saturday, September 6

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Season 9 • Episode 13

When Walden's mother and ex-wife try to take over his company, he turns to Alan for help.

Saturday, September 6

A Possum on Chemo

Season 9 • Episode 14

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

Saturday, September 6

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Season 9 • Episode 15

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

Sunday, September 7

Gumby With a Pokey

Season 7 • Episode 21

Alan and Jake go on a road trip; Charlie finds himself haunted by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.

Sunday, September 7

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 7 • Episode 22

Charlie's license is suspended; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.

Sunday, September 7

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Season 8 • Episode 1

Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom.

Sunday, September 7

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Season 8 • Episode 2

When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get him to agree to it.

Sunday, September 7

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

Season 8 • Episode 3

After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

Sunday, September 7

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

Season 8 • Episode 4

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

Monday, September 8

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Monday, September 8

Pilot

Season 1 • Episode 1

Charlie discovers that a man raising a 10-year-old boy attracts the attention of women.

Monday, September 8

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Season 11 • Episode 21

Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a trip.

Monday, September 8

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 11 • Episode 22

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Monday, September 8

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Season 12 • Episode 2

Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a pre-nup.

Monday, September 8

Glamping in a Yurt

Season 12 • Episode 3

Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with a social worker.

Monday, September 8

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Season 3 • Episode 8

Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.

Monday, September 8

Madame and Her Special Friend

Season 3 • Episode 9

Alan is propositioned by one of Charlie's elderly neighbors; Charlie tries to stop Jake.

Monday, September 8

Something Salted and Twisted

Season 3 • Episode 10

Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article about him.

Monday, September 8

That Special Tug

Season 3 • Episode 12

Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.

Tuesday, September 9

Meander to Your Dander

Season 5 • Episode 11

Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.

Tuesday, September 9

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Season 2 • Episode 23

Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn.

Tuesday, September 9

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Season 12 • Episode 4

A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.

Tuesday, September 9

Oontz Oontz Oontz

Season 12 • Episode 5

Walden takes in a foster child named Louis, but they don't bond as he expected.

Tuesday, September 9

Alan Shot a Little Girl

Season 12 • Episode 6

Alan starts breaking Walden's rules so he can keep up an appearance of being cool in front of Louis.

Tuesday, September 9

Sex With an Animated Ed Asner

Season 12 • Episode 7

Walden and Alan befriend three moms, but things get complicated when Walden falls for one of them.

Tuesday, September 9

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Season 3 • Episode 13

Charlie must deal with the challenges of a committed relationship that is not based on sex.

Tuesday, September 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 9

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 9

A Jock Strap in Hell

Season 6 • Episode 5

The guys run into Jake's former teacher who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie.

Tuesday, September 9

It's Always Nazi Week

Season 6 • Episode 6

When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.

Tuesday, September 9

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Season 6 • Episode 7

Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.

Tuesday, September 9

Pinocchio's Mouth

Season 6 • Episode 8

Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.

Tuesday, September 9

The Mooch at the Boo

Season 6 • Episode 9

Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter.

Tuesday, September 9

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Season 6 • Episode 10

When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.

Tuesday, September 9

The Devil's Lube

Season 6 • Episode 11

When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.

Tuesday, September 9

Thank God for Scoliosis

Season 6 • Episode 12

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress.

Wednesday, September 10

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Season 11 • Episode 20

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

Wednesday, September 10

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Season 5 • Episode 12

Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.

Wednesday, September 10

Does This Smell Funny to You?

Season 2 • Episode 24

Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.

Wednesday, September 10

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Season 12 • Episode 9

Walden discovers how difficult it is to be with women with Louis in the house.

Wednesday, September 10

Here I Come, Pants!

Season 12 • Episode 10

Alan tries to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker makes a discovery.

Wednesday, September 10

For Whom the Booty Calls

Season 12 • Episode 11

When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he finds it to be a nice getaway from Alan.

Wednesday, September 10

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

Season 12 • Episode 12

Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.

Wednesday, September 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 10

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Season 3 • Episode 20

Alan tries to win Kandi back, and Charlie sleeps with her mom.

Wednesday, September 10

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 10

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

Season 6 • Episode 15

In an attempt to prove he has changed, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.

Wednesday, September 10

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

Season 6 • Episode 16

Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

Wednesday, September 10

The Ocu or the Pado?

Season 6 • Episode 17

When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea, her response is nothing like what he'd expected.

Wednesday, September 10

My Son's Enormous Head

Season 6 • Episode 18

Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick.

Wednesday, September 10

The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 • Episode 19

Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.

Wednesday, September 10

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 • Episode 20

Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.

Wednesday, September 10

Above Exalted Cyclops

Season 6 • Episode 21

Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.

Wednesday, September 10

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Season 6 • Episode 22

Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.

Thursday, September 11

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 11 • Episode 22

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Thursday, September 11

The Soil Is Moist

Season 5 • Episode 13

Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.

Thursday, September 11

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 3 • Episode 1

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.

Thursday, September 11

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Season 1 • Episode 7

For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.

Thursday, September 11

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1 • Episode 10

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Thursday, September 11

Camel Filters and Pheremones

Season 1 • Episode 12

The housekeeper's sexy teenage granddaughter attracts the guys' attention.

Thursday, September 11

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Season 1 • Episode 14

Charlie's accountant (Richard Lewis) tries to explain his financial woes.

Thursday, September 11

That Was Saliva, Alan

Season 1 • Episode 16

Frankie (Jenna Elfman) divulges her big secret, then falls for one of the brothers.

Thursday, September 11

An Old Flame With a New Wick

Season 1 • Episode 18

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).

Thursday, September 11

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Season 1 • Episode 19

Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.

Thursday, September 11

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Season 1 • Episode 20

After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist.

Thursday, September 11

Just Like Buffalo

Season 1 • Episode 23

Charlie tries to get Judith to let Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Thursday, September 11

Go Get Mommy's Bra

Season 2 • Episode 4

Charlie's mother borrows the Mercedes to impress a Saudi prince.

Thursday, September 11

The Salmon Under My Sweater

Season 2 • Episode 10

Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics.

Thursday, September 11

A Lungful of Alan

Season 2 • Episode 12

The brothers compete for the attentions of Alan's high-school friend.

Thursday, September 11

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

Season 2 • Episode 14

Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.

Thursday, September 11

Smell the Umbrella Stand

Season 2 • Episode 15

Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.

Thursday, September 11

Boompa Loved His Hookers

Season 12 • Episode 13

Walden fears that breaking up with Ms. McMartin will become an issue; Lyndsey asks Alan to move in.

Thursday, September 11

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

Season 12 • Episode 14

When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift.

Thursday, September 11

Of Course He's Dead -- Part One

Season 12 • Episode 15

Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.

Thursday, September 11

Of Course He's Dead -- Part Two

Season 12 • Episode 16

Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.

Thursday, September 11

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

Season 3 • Episode 22

Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.

Thursday, September 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, September 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, September 11

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Thursday, September 11

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

Season 4 • Episode 4

After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.

Thursday, September 11

Walnuts and Demerol

Season 4 • Episode 11

Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party.

Thursday, September 11

Young People Have Phlegm Too

Season 4 • Episode 16

A more mature woman helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.

Thursday, September 11

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Season 4 • Episode 22

Jake has a windfall at the track with Charlie; Alan visits the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Thursday, September 11

Prostitutes and Gelato

Season 4 • Episode 24

Evelyn's new boyfriend invites Charlie and Alan to Las Vegas.

Thursday, September 11

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Season 5 • Episode 8

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.

Thursday, September 11

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Thursday, September 11

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

Season 6 • Episode 24

Charlie begins to question his relationship with Chelsea.

Friday, September 12

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Season 7 • Episode 8

Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.

Friday, September 12

Winky-Dink Time

Season 5 • Episode 14

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets up Alan with a prostitute.

Friday, September 12

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Season 3 • Episode 2

Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew.

Friday, September 12

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Season 9 • Episode 1

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

Friday, September 12

People Who Love Peepholes

Season 9 • Episode 2

Walden's ex-wife, Bridget (Judy Greer), turns up.

Friday, September 12

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Season 9 • Episode 3

Alan helps Walden get ready for a date with Bridget; Jake decides to drop out of school.

Friday, September 12

Nine Magic Fingers

Season 9 • Episode 4

Walden searches for love; Alan encounters a chance to reconcile with Lyndsey.

Friday, September 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, September 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, September 12

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Friday, September 12

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Season 4 • Episode 5

Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.

Saturday, September 13

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Season 5 • Episode 15

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.

Saturday, September 13

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Season 3 • Episode 3

Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.

Saturday, September 13

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Season 9 • Episode 16

Conflict arises when a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day.

Saturday, September 13

Not in My Mouth!

Season 9 • Episode 17

A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship.

Saturday, September 13

The War Against Gingivitis

Season 9 • Episode 18

Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

Saturday, September 13

Palmdale, Ech

Season 9 • Episode 19

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers; Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

Saturday, September 13

Grandma's Pie

Season 9 • Episode 20

Walden tells Zoey that he will be going into business with his ex-wife.

Saturday, September 13

Mr. Hose Says Yes

Season 9 • Episode 21

Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.

Saturday, September 13

Why We Gave Up Women

Season 9 • Episode 22

When Alan has a heart attack, Charlie's ghost (Kathy Bates) visits him.

Saturday, September 13

Big Flappy Bastards

Season 1 • Episode 2

Charlie does not know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room.

Saturday, September 13

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Season 1 • Episode 3

One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Sunday, September 14

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Monday, September 15

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Season 5 • Episode 16

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.

Tuesday, September 16

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Season 3 • Episode 4

Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Tuesday, September 16

Warning, It's Dirty

Season 7 • Episode 11

Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Tuesday, September 16

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Season 7 • Episode 12

Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship.

Tuesday, September 16

Yay, No Polyps!

Season 7 • Episode 13

Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents.

Tuesday, September 16

Crude and Uncalled For

Season 7 • Episode 14

A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested someone else.

Tuesday, September 16

Aye, Aye, Captain

Season 7 • Episode 15

When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help.

Tuesday, September 16

Tinkle Like a Princess

Season 7 • Episode 16

Charlie returns from Las Vegas with the woman he married there, who is not Chelsea.

Tuesday, September 16

I Found Your Mustache

Season 7 • Episode 17

Charlie and Chelsea get together for one night, despite having ended their relationship.

Tuesday, September 16

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Season 7 • Episode 18

Charlie has a return engagement with Gail; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.

Wednesday, September 17

Glamping in a Yurt

Season 12 • Episode 3

Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with a social worker.

Wednesday, September 17

Fish in a Drawer

Season 5 • Episode 17

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.

Wednesday, September 17

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Season 3 • Episode 5

Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.

Wednesday, September 17

The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.