Best Lines on TV This Week (September 15-21): ‘Adulthood Is the Ability to Be Totally Bored and Remain Standing’

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DANCING WITH THE STARS - TOM BERGERON, VICTORIA ARLEN, VALENTIN CHMERKOVSKIY
Eric McCandless/ABC

Dancing With The Stars

Victoria Arlen: “About a year and a half ago I just started walking after spending the last 10 years in a wheelchair.
I’m here, I lived, and I’m ready to dance!”

– Not a dry eye in sight as paralympic swimmer and now ESPN host, Victoria Arlen, gives the emotional details of her life in a wheelchair, 4 years of which she was in a vegetative state. Her positivity is tremendously inspirational.

69th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Stephen Colbert
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

The 69th Primetime Emmy Awards

Stephen Colbert: “Just a reminder, if you do win, don’t forget to thank everyone who helped you get up here, mainly Game of Thrones for not being eligible this year.”

– Even if you don’t watch GoT, you know it’s true.

The Vietnam War
Eddie Adams/AP/PBS

The Vietnam War

Voiceover: “It’s like living in a family with an alcoholic father — ‘Sssh, we don’t talk about that.”

– One commentator in Ken Burns’s latest documentary series tries to find the best words to describe how Americans approach discussing the Vietnam War.

Jerry Before Seinfeld
Netflix

Jerry Before Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld: “Adulthood is the ability to be totally bored and remain standing.”

– The comedian brings back his classic musings on the oddities of daily life while looking back on his career.

The Real Housewives of Dallas - Carey Deuber
Michael Larsen/Bravo

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Mark: “Everything she doesn’t eat, you’re gonna eat.”

– Mark Deuber becomes frustrated with his wife, Cary, when their four year-old daughter wants desserts for dinner.

Teen Mom 2 - Jenelle - Season 2 (Eps 1)
MTV

Teen Mom 2

David: “It takes one of the lowest, most selfish pieces of s–t in the world to do what she does.”

– David Eason talking about his future mother-in law after his fiance, Jenelle Evans, loses custody of her son, Jace.

AMERICAN HORROR STOR - Sarah Paulson
Frank Ockenfels/FX

American Horror Story: Cult

Ally: “Look, I know that I’m supposed to be responsible for all the positive and negative energies that come into my life…”
Dr. Vincent: “Who told you that?”
Ally: “I don’t know — Instagram?”

– Ally (Sarah Paulson) discusses with her therapist Dr.Vincent (Cheyenne Jackson) what her next steps should be after shooting her employee on her front porch and becoming the most hated person in her town.

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