Best Lines on TV This Week (April 28 - May 4): 'It's Like One of Those Good News/Bad News Jokes, Isn't It?'

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Chicago Fire - Miranda Rae Mayo
lizabeth Morris/NBC

Chicago Fire


Stella: “You guys really have a thing about moving in with each other.”
Hermann: “Didn’t you ask Severide to move in with you?”
Stella: “That was…different.”

– Stella (Miranda Rae Mayo) bringing up something we’ve wondered about the whole Chicago Fire crew’s living habits.

American Gods
Starz

American Gods


“It’s like one of those good news/bad news jokes, isn’t it? The good news is, we are lettin’ you out early. The bad news is, your wife’s dead.”

– A guard to Shadow Moon (Ricky Whittle) when he’s let out of prison.

Great News - Briga Heelan
Colleen Hayes/NBC

Great News


“This is Carol Wendelson we’re talking about. She knows everything about everyone. That’s why in high school they called her Deep Throat. Boy, I hope that’s why.”

– Katie (Briga Heelan) explaining to her boyfriend Trip (Tommy Dewey) why it will be hard to keep their relationship a secret from her mother.

Dear White People - Jeremy Tardy, Nia Jervier
Adam Rose/Netflix

Dear White People


Kelsey: “But after the the blackface party, I was so traumatized. I mean, racism here? I still can’t believe it.”
Joelle: “No one could have seen it coming.”
Reggie: “Yeah, I thought President Obama fixed all that.”
Kelsey: “I know!”

– Kelsey (Nia Jervier) explaining how she got a therapy dog after the blackface party.

LIVE WITH KELLY AND RYAN - KELLY RIPA, RYAN SEACREST
Pawel Kaminski/Disney/ABC Home Entertainment and TV Distribution

Live with Kelly and Ryan


“It’s funny, because I sent a text to some of my close, close friends and co-workers. I said, “I’ve got great news!” Responses were this from people who know me well: “You’re engaged!” No. “You’re having a baby!” It’s not that. “You’re coming out of the closet!” I said, “How long have you known me?” “Six years.” So, it’s none of that – it’s this! And I couldn’t be more excited to be here with you every single day, and all of you as well.”

– Ryan Seacrest describing his friends’ thoughts as to what his surprise (a.k.a. co-hosting Live with Kelly and Ryan) might be.

The Real Housewives of New York City - Sonja Morgan, Dorinda Medley
Heidi Gutman/Bravo

The Real Housewives of New York City


“There’s guys you sleep with, and there’s guys you marry. Those are two different piles.”

– Sonja Morgan describing the two men she’s juggling—Rocco and a frenchman aptly nicknamed “Frenchie.”

Veep - Anna Chlumsky
HBO

Veep


Dan: “Who’s your favorite character on Downton?”
Amy: “I don’t know. Abbey, I guess.”

– Amy (Anna Chlumsky) and Dan (Reid Scott) talking about Downton Abbey after Amy’s press conference with fiancé Buddy Calhoun (Matt Oberg).

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