Best Lines of the Week (September 25-October 1): ‘Peace Don’t Last for Long’

Fargo Bob's Burgers Celebrity Family Feud
FX; Fox; Byron Cohen/ABC

This week, TV viewers watched the “Circle of Life” in action as Carole Baskin was eliminated on Dancing With the Stars and saw what life on Mars might well look like on the season premiere of The Great British Baking Show.

Joel McHale’s appearance on Celebrity Family Feud and the latest Archer episode featured some great one-liners, while the season premiere of Fargo hooked viewers with its rich narrative.

See below for some lines on TV this week that stood out.

Carole Baskin eliminated on week 2 of Dancing with the Stars
Eric McCandless/ABC

Dancing With the Stars (ABC)

“Samba needs life, bounce and energy! She can’t just sleepwalk through a Samba.”

Bruno Tonioli giving harsh feedback to Carole Baskin and her dance partner Pasha Pashkov after a low-energy samba to “Circle of Life” from The Lion King.

Pathetic David Bowie cake from season premiere of Great British Bake Off

The Great British Baking Show (Netflix)

“Erm, that’s about as far away from David Bowie as you could get.”

— Judge Prue Leith looks pitifully at a Ziggy Stardust cake bust, one contestant’s attempt at the season’s first showstopper challenge.

Bob Belcher plays with squeezy ball in season 8 premiere

Bob's Burgers (Fox)

“I love the fact that you’re a millionaire, but your car looks like crap!”

— Bob (H. Jon Benjamin) dreams that Squeezy Ball, a ball of rubber bands lost in his broken glove compartment, is talking to him. Bob explains that he is far from a millionaire, but Squeezy Ball was too oblivious — and fake — to care.

Joel Mchale and his team on Celebrity Family Feud
Byron Cohen/ABC

Celebrity Family Feud (ABC)

“I’m playing for the Steve Harvey Mustache Maintenance Charity, where my charity will maintain Steve Harvey’s mustache until there is no more Steve Harvey.”

— Joel McHale teased Steve Harvey about his infamous mustache when asked what charity his team was playing for on the game show.

Meeting between the two Kansas City mafias in season premiere of Fargo

Fargo (FX)

“Logic dictates that in every fight there is a winner and a loser. But this is a history report, and what does history tell us? Peace don’t last for long.”

– Ethelrida Pearl Smutney (E’myri Crutchfield), acting as narrator for the season, sets the stage for her historical retelling of the gangs of Kansas City, Missouri.

Paris Hilton 2020 $ellebrity: The Go-To Girls

20/20: $ellebrity: The Go-To Girls (ABC)

“It was just like the Days of Our Lives… on crack.”

— Bonnie Fuller, former Editor-In-Chief of Us Weekly talking about the media culture surrounding Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian, and Paris Hilton in the early 2000s.

Hippolyta cowers in a corner in episode 7 of Lovecraft Country

Lovecraft Country (HBO)

“I am Hippolyta. I am Hippolyta. I am Hippolyta!”

— Hippolyta Freeman (Aunjanue Ellis) redirects her anger and grief towards self-empowerment on her journey for self-discovery in 1920s Paris

Malory Archer tests out another valet for her son, Sterling Archer

Archer (FXX)

“Sterling’s going through valets like a bullet through tropical mahogany!”

— Malory Archer (Jessica Walter) expresses frustration over her son’s disdain for every replacement valet he hires, the latest of which Archer despises because he does not know his spy history after working only one day for him.