’90 Day Fiancé’ Episode 12: Two Brides and a Bribe (RECAP)

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[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for 90 Day Fiancé Season 7, Episode 12].

It may be January but it’s officially wedding season on 90 Day Fiancé. From nuptial planning to shoe shopping to a last-minute change of heart, find out which couples choose to wed and who threaten to cancel all together. Plus one bride gets bribed and a would-be groom has a surprise return. This should be interesting…

Backyard Bliss

The tens of thousands of dollars spent did seemingly pay off with Michael and Juliana’s lush backyard wedding (although we can only hope they didn’t shell out too much for the quasi-greenhouse look).

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While we saw Juliana’s international friends create a montage video of well wishes last week, her family never reached out to her. Juliana tearfully tries to get ready before walking down the aisle. “I’m not going to let this ruin my day because I’m marrying the man I love,” she says. “Today is about me and him.” And his ex-wife Sarah, who was officiating.

“Of course I’m supposed to be the bitter, resentful 42-year-old stay-at-home mom whose husband got a newer, better model, you know? But that’s not really what it is,” Sarah says convincingly. “My kids have never been happier or felt more secure in their lives.”

Shout out to Michael’s burgundy velvet bowtie because it’s far more stylish than his newsboy cap. The wedding is beautiful, Michael’s kids make a toast, and the family is complete.

Nigerian Nuptials

Back in Nigeria, Angela is wrestling with a wedding of her own. She hopes to overturn the K-1 visa denial so that she and Michael can get married in the U.S. However, Michael is pushing for a Nigerian wedding so they can instead apply for a spousal visa.

Michael’s brother interjects to suggest that Michael just find another spouse, one who preferably lives in Lagos so he can start his family immediately. Angela obviously does not take too kindly to that idea, and yet it’s quickly resolved… almost too quickly. “We all support the marriage,” Michael’s brother concludes. Um OK, what was the point of that? Angela then says she will consider a wedding in Nigeria for Michael’s family. Surprise, surprise.

Sale Cinderella

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Robert takes Anny bridal shoe shopping and Anny selects red Calvin Klein patent leather stilettos because that totally matches a white lace gown. Robert seizes the opportunity to apologize to Anny for his brother questioning her intentions the previous night. “It’s us against the world,” Robert tells Anny. “One team, one dream.”

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Syngin visits with his fellow South African friend Jhaart who lives in Pennsylvania. With only 21 days left to marry Tania, Syngin discusses his concerns. “I think Tania understands everything I gave up but I don’t think she truly feels what I gave up,” Syngin explains in a confessional. “It’s a huge commitment and I don’t think she truly grasps that.”

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And then Syngin finally addresses the bombshell from last week’s episode: Tania believes her first love was her actual soulmate. Jhaart almost laughs in disbelief when Syngin tells him. “That actually f***ed me up,” Syngin shares. “Just to hear it in itself…I’m considering going back to South Africa.”

However Syngin does believe that Tania is in fact his soulmate given their fateful way of meeting. Jhaart’s advice is right: you can’t just move on from a statement like that, though. “Is Tania really worth it?” Jhaart asks, to viewers everyone nodding in agreement.

Just Give Up Already

Jasmin spent the night at her sister’s house after a fight with Blake about his priorities. The most boring couple of the season have the most boring half conversation, half lazy interrogation in Blake’s brother’s garage.

Here’s an excerpt:

Jasmin: “Did you drink?”

Blake: “Yeah of course I drank.”

Jasmin: “How much?”

Blake: “I don’t know, I don’t keep count.”

Jasmin: “Cool.”

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Are we supposed to assume Jasmin has some history with alcohol? Are we supposed to be excited for their wedding (dear God, how are they even talking about a wedding at this point?!)? Either way, we just feel absolutely nothing for them.

A Basic Promise

Finally, finally, finally we get back to cereal hater Sasha and his emotionally captive yet still unsympathetic bride Emily. They’re beginning their wannabe influencer lives in Portland, Oregon, and Emily’s sister Betsy aka MVP supporting star of the season flies out to assist Emily before the wedding. “I still don’t think this wedding is a great idea but I’m here,” Betsy tells the camera. “We’ll see if [Sasha’s] in it for the long-haul.”

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Betsy asks Sasha the day before the wedding to promise to love Emily forever, which is basically what vows are. Sasha promises to do so while looking around and squinting at Betsy. Seems pretty legit. They shake on it half-heartedly. “I hope Sasha is a different guy here than he was in Russia,” Betsy says, almost hearing her own insanity as Emily comes out giggling behind her holding the baby.

You Can’t Bee Serious

Cut to Anna, who Emily will probably be able to relate to in T-minus two years after Sasha leaves. Anna is alone once more after Mursel officially returned to Turkey and yet somehow she is STILL waiting to hear from him! Come on lady, it’s done. He dumped you. Unless… wait, the production crew got a call saying Mursel wants to come back? How is that even legal because he left while on the visa? Someone tell us what’s going on!!

Anna says that Mursel informed her that now apparently his parents approve of their wedding. Why did he have to risk his visa and fly halfway around the world to get the answer that he’s been hoping for this whole time? And why does a 38-year-old man even care what his parents think? So many questions buzzing around.

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Oh and guess what, Mursel got his visa back immediately but the catch is that they have to get married in two days. Of course all their actual relationship problems aren’t even addressed before they blindly agree to rush into a marriage.

Can You Really Cancel a Visa?

Following his almost-breakup with Natalie, Mike meets with his immigration lawyer to discuss Natalie’s visa status. His attorney asks if he’s considering cancelling the visa request entirely since their spat, and Mike just pauses before saying that he doesn’t know yet.

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Also is it just us or is the lawyer kind of flirty with Mike? Maybe he should just marry her instead; she definitely seems friendlier than Natalie, hot off her Frozen 2 press tour.

The Belle of the Boutique

Speaking of ice queens, Tania goes bridal dress shopping with her mom, sister, and friends. The name of the boutique is Love Me Two Times which simultaneously sounds like a country song and a bedroom act, plus also nicely summarizes Tania’s latest fight with Syngin: he’s really #2 in her heart behind a mysterious first love soulmate.

Tania is looking for a black, red, or champagne wedding dress because she “likes pushing the norm,” which can also be called “having no taste.” Even Tania’s mom cringes at a black lace dress Tania tries on. “It’s Tania,” one of her so-called best friends snickers while rolling her eyes. Finally Tania’s sister encourages her to try on a white dress, to which her friends cheer.

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Tania confesses to the group that she told Syngin he’s not her soulmate. Presumably her family and friends would know this “first love” she keeps referencing but they remain silent.

Her eye roll friend has to explain to Tania that she probably “crushed him” and that she now feels bad for Syngin, speculating that maybe Tania’s hesitation to look like a traditional bride is really because she has doubts about getting married in general. Applause please for this perfect person who can finally talk some sense into Tania!

Meet the Parents

It’s the official meeting of the in-laws for Blake and Jasmin, whose parents are in town visiting from Finland. The already-doomed wedding is set to be at a park near where Blake grew up and they all meet to discuss logistics.

Blake’s mother asks Jasmin once again what her plans are post-wedding, to which Jasmin says she is not planning on working, but Blake’s mother already knew that. “I just want to focus on my inner peace and have a good mind,” Jasmin explains. Don’t we all?

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Jasmin’s parents don’t seem to mind too much either. Blake’s mother keeps trying to get her son to actually realize how much of a mistake this whole thing is, but Blake is completely oblivious.

A Should Be Runaway Bride

It’s Sasha and Emily’s wedding day, and Sasha calls his parents and eldest son to tell them how much he wishes they were there. And he means it — he says that after he receives his green card, he hopes to obtain one for his son too, even though Sasha’s ex-wife said there was no way she was going to allow that.

Sasha also strips down to his boxer briefs in front of the camera, no doubt to show off his body and get airtime for his burgeoning fitness modeling career. It’s so excessive and obvious that it’s almost sadder than the fact that this is his third wedding. Emily can still run away, right?

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Too late, she said “I do.”

Everyone Loves a Reveal

Anna finally tells her sons that Mursel is returning and their plans to wed. Her middle son Gino is glad Mursel is coming back because of how happy he makes Anna, but her eldest son Joey is still cautious. “It will be a lot different this time because he knows what to expect,” Anna tries to convince her boys. Joey might not attend the wedding but there’s not much else Anna can do.

Check, Please!

Robert and Anny meet with Robert’s son’s grandparents, Ben and Stephanie. Anny stresses how close she and Robert’s son Bryson are to assure Ben and Stephanie that their grandson is in good hands.

Instead, Ben flips it on Anny to ask if she really feels fulfilled and provided for since moving to the U.S. It’s an odd question, and eventually leads to Ben and Stephanie straight up asking her to move back to the Dominican Republic. Stephanie literally goes to write a check for Anny to buy a plane ticket. “Just tell me how much you want. $10,000? $15,000?” Stephanie condescendingly coos as Anny tells her she’s crazy for even offering that.

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Stephanie says that Anny is only here for a green card, and Robert responds by telling her that she should be thanking Anny for taking care of Bryson.

“I feel like you’re taking this the wrong way,” Ben says, and leaves the check on the table in case Anny ever wants to leave. “We offered them money out of love and I secretly think they’re both secretly ecstatic the money is there in case she wants to leave,” he tells the camera.

Previews

Next week, Angela apparently needs an American witness to her wedding in Nigeria for it to be considered valid, Blake’s mom voices her concerns about Jasmin, and Michael tells Sarah that he decided against a prenup for Juliana.

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Meanwhile Mike and Natalie continue going in circles (just break up already!), and Anna stresses about meeting the marriage deadline with Mursel. And last but definitely not least, it seems that Robert may get cold feet at the altar with Anny.

Until then, 90 Day fans!

90 Day Fiancé, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC