Best Lines on TV This Week: ‘This Isn’t My First Prison Break’

TV Insider Staff February 20, 2016, 11:00 am

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Our weekly round-up of best quips, quotes and quick bits of dialogue from the latest episodes.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow

“This isn’t my first prison break.”
— Captain Cold (Wentworth Miller) tries to rescue Heat Wave (Dominic Purcell) and other teammates in a Russian prison and gets meta, because the two actors costarred on Prison Break

.@caitylotz and @RattyBurvil recap the latest DC’s #LegendsOfTomorrow. Watch it now: https://t.co/2CNMJo703g https://t.co/Xjz08hpqYv

— Legends of Tomorrow (@TheCW_Legends) February 19, 2016

You, Me, and the Apocalypse

“Are we really the future of mankind? ‘Cause it seems like we’re starting with a very shallow gene pool. More of a gene puddle, really.”
— Jamie (Matthew Baynton) assesses his post-apocalyptic company

Gravity Falls (Series Finale)

“I listen to a lot of AM Radio, so I knew what this meant: the End of the World.”
— Grunkle Stan (Alex Hirsch) explains how he knew Weirdmageddon had begun

“Is anyone going to feed me? Larry King’s disembodied wax head wants num nums.”
— Larry King makes an unexpected cameo

“I now declare you technically teenagers! Welcome to Angst and Acne forever!”
— Wendy (Linda Cardinelli) wishes the Pines Twins a happy 13th birthday

Downton Abbey

“You will be hurt again, and so will I, because being hurt is part of being alive. But that is no reason to give up on the man who is right for you.”
— Tom (Allen Leech) gives Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) some sage advice about love

Violet: “While angry, I say things some people find hard to forgive. So, I have decided to go away. I’d rather vent my rage on the desert air… and return when I’ve gained control of my tongue.”
Isobel: “Your self-knowledge is an example to us all.”
— Violet (Maggie Smith) concedes her presidency of the local hospital and is none to happy about it

Violet: “I’ll call on Miss Cruikshank before I leave.”
Isobel: “I suspect she’s quite a tough nut.”
Violet: “And I’m quite a tough nutcracker.”
— Violet prepares to do battle on Isobel’s (Penelope Wilton) behalf against Isobel’s potential daughter-in-law

Vinyl

“I had a golden ear, silver tongue, and a pair of brass balls.”
— Richie Finestra (Bobby Cannavale) recounts the audience with his former glory days as the owner of a formerly successful record label

iZombie

“Welcome to Boba Chatt, the podcast of the Dark Side. Kylo Ren. Emo brat, or supreme badass?”
— Ravi’s (Rahul Kohli) channels the Force by listening to a podcast while trying to find tainted Utopium

RELATED: Read More Best Lines on TV

The Middle

Brick: “So what goes on at the theater? Are there chairs? A conveyer belt that brings you in? As I’ve mentioned, I’ve never been to the movies.”
Mike: “Have you been to Earth?”
Brick: “Not if I have to rely on you to take me there.”
— Brick (Atticus Shafer) makes a valid point when his father Mike (Neil Flynn) questions his curiosity

Oh snap! Brick’s got jokes. https://t.co/KrAr8Y4g0U

— The Middle (@TheMiddle_ABC) February 20, 2016

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

“Is it a Chris? Hemsworth, Evans, Pratt, Pine, Brown, Cross? Is it a non Chris?”
— Jake (Andy Samberg) has a Chris-is as he tries to figure out which celeb is being talked about

Jake: “You can’t give a celebrity case to Amy. The last movie she saw was a documentary about spelling bees.”
Amy: “Wrong; it was about the font Helvetica, and it played like an action thriller.”
— Amy (Melissa Fumero) shows off her extreme nerdiness, even with movies

Amy: “What if we each agree to face one of our fears today for ourselves and for all of womenkind?”
Gina: “Ugh. That sounds terrible.”
— Gina (Chelsea Peretti) is just not on board with Amy’s rah-rah sisterhood idea

Marvel’s Agent Carter

“You have rather gone from famine to feast, vis-à-vis quality suitors. And I must say, I do not envy your position. Between Dr. Wilkes’ incandescent smile and Chief Sousa’s eyes, so warm yet so wise…”
— Jarvis (James D’Arcy) points out Peggy’s (Hayley Atwell) unexpected love triangle

The Flash

“Now, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but I can tell you that today, I… I did things that I never thought possible, because I needed to prove to my wife and to myself that I could. Now, if I can do the impossible today, so can you. I’m just Barry Allen, but you’re The Flash.”
— Earth-2 Barry Allen reveals he’s just as wise and encouraging as Earth-1 Barry (both Grant Gustin)

“It’s a work in progress, Elsa.”
— Cisco (Carlos Valdes) compares Killer Frost’s (Danielle Panabaker) icy looks to Frozen‘s Elsa

Modern Family

“The best part about taking over my dad’s company is that I am now a powerful, white male and I love it. I totally get now why we don’t want anyone else to have what we have.”
— Claire (Julie Bowen) basks in the perks of taking over her dad’s company while also manspreading during her confessional

Cam’s hospitality is pushed to the limit on tonight’s new episode of #ModernFamily. pic.twitter.com/I8ef9HUKPV

— Modern Family (@ModernFam) February 17, 2016

The Magicians

Margo: “A great way to get the things you want, is to get so miserable you don’t want them anymore.”
Quentin: “What kind of a system is that? You know, why can’t it run on love, or cocaine or something?”
— Quentin (Jason Ralph) doesn’t like his “pep talk” with Margo (Summer Bishil)

“Please tell me someone has pointed out to you that magic doesn’t come from sunshine and ice cream, for any of us.”
— Margo reiterates that magic comes from pain

“This year, we’re going to win the alumni week Hunger Games. My mentor last year was a nun. Never again.”
— Eliot (Hale Appleman) is getting ready to seize the day for a mentor

The X-Files

Agent Einstein: “Please enlighten me, Agent Mulder, how nine years of college, three degrees, and two years at Quantico has left me such a simpleton.”
Agent Mulder: “Not a simpleton. A mugwump.”
Agent Einstein: “I resent that characterization, and I don’t even know what it means.”
Agent Mulder: “It means sit down and shut up.”
— Agent Einstein (Lauren Ambrose) and Agent Mulder (David Duchovny) have a very Mulder and Scully-esque disagreement

Agent Einstein: “In the meantime, we must conduct this business with a certain delicacy where the consumption of any potentially dangerous and psychotropic hallucinogen must be undertaken outside of a laboratory.”
Agent Mulder: “You mean hide it like a couple of drug addicts.”
— Agent Einstein and Agent Mulder debate how to hide their magic mushrooms

Fresh Off the Boat

TONIGHT Phillip Goldstein is back and…what? B-?? That’s a Chinese F! @AlbertTsai on #FreshOffTheBoat tonite at 8p pic.twitter.com/iNlm7iECSw

— Forrest Wheeler (@wheeler_forrest) February 17, 2016