Game of Thrones: Good Week for Nepotism, Bad Week for Loyalty

Jaqen H’gar is back! In Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones, our favorite Faceless Man reemerged to bring Arya into the House of Black and White in Braavos. Plus, we finally saw Dorne and met the grieving Prince Doran Martell, brother of Oberyn. His sadness wasn’t satisfying Oberyn’s lover, Ellaria, or his daughters, the three ruthless Sand Snakes, whose grief takes and angrier edge. In a character-packed episode, here’s who the gods smiled upon, and who had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

A Good Week For …

Lord Mace Tyrell

Queen Margaery’s dumb dad gets to be Master of Coin in addition to Master of Ships! Nice to see that even in a fantasy world like Westeros, the concept of “failing upward” exists. Though there’s no way stacking the Small Council with total duffers isn’t going to bite Cersei in the ass somewhere down the line.

Gilly

Princess Shireen Baratheon is teaching Gilly to read! How lovely! This is exactly the kind of women-helping-women attitude that’ll put the rest of the Seven Kingdoms on the right track to at least pull even with Dorne on the equality front.

Jon Snow

Stannis offers Jon Snow everything he’s ever wanted: To be legitimized as Jon Stark, and to be named Lord of Winterfell! It’s a tempting proposition, but the fact that Jon swore a vow to hold no lands, father no children, etc., makes this decision a particularly sticky wicket. He refuses the offer—perhaps unwisely—but as a consolation prize, he wins the election for Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.

A Bad Week For …

Brienne of Tarth

Brienne just cannot catch a break. She again randomly stumbles across a Stark daughter—Sansa, in the company of Littlefinger—and attempts to swear her allegiance/get the girl away from her clearly dangerous companion, and once again is rebuffed. Who’s a woman got to slay to get some damn honor around here?

One of the Knights of the Vale

This guy got a sword through the throat courtesy of Brienne. Yes, we’d be pretty pissed, too, if the only person who could restore our honor had just refused our service. But that wasn’t Knight of the Vale’s fault–he was just following his liege lord’s orders when chasing after Brienne and Podrick.

Unnamed Little Person

We can’t say definitively that this particular little person never did anyone harm, but getting his head chopped off because Cersei couldn’t be bothered to make some flyers with Tyrion’s likeness seems like a pretty raw deal.