9 Reasons We Can't Stop Watching the 'Real Housewives Of New York' Season 9 Trailer

Damian Holbrook
Patrick Ecclesine/Bravo

Pictured: (l-r) The Real Housewives of NYC's Tinsley Mortimer, Sonja Morgan, Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer, Dorinda Medley, Luann de Lesseps, Carole Radziwill

Start spreading the news: The Real Housewives of New York City are coming back, and in addition to new cast member Tinsley Mortimer, the ladies are bringing their patented brand of Big Apple cray with them. (As if they'd pack anything else!) In the just-released trailer for Season 9, there's a plethora of reasons to set your DVR, so we've sliced this gem into nine give-them-to-us-NOW moments for ya!

1. Sonja Morgan in a kabuki-style facial mask explaining why one of her romances left a bad taste in her mouth. "I think I was allergic to his sperm."
The Real Housewives of New York City

2. Ramona Singer telling Carole Radziwill that her leather-and-lace ensemble will incite male diners to order off the menu. "They're all going to be wanting to eat you and not their dinner."

3. Sonja, the Mae West of the Upper West Side, apparently bragging that she plays by Hooker Rules. "We made love but we did not kiss."

Bethenny Frankel Lists Soho Condo for $5.25M (PHOTOS)

Bethenny Frankel Lists Soho Condo for $5.25M (PHOTOS)

The 'Real Housewives of New York' star purchased the home after her separation from estranged ex-husband Jason Hoppy.


4. Bethenny Frankel backing up that idea by praising Sonja for her pimp skills. "You're like a curator...of cock."

5. JILL ZARIN!!
The Real Housewives of New York City

6. Dorinda Medley's reaction to newbie Mortimer's mug-shot admission. She made it nice for us!
The Real Housewives of New York City

7. Ramona, Carole and Bethenny all upping the drama over Luann de Lesseps' marriage to shady Tom.

8. Bethenny butt!
The Real Housewives of New York City

9. Everything after the 1:49 mark. The screaming. The drinking. The finger-pointing. Dorinda calling Sonja's vagina the Holland Tunnel.

Honestly, it can't get here fast enough. And just think: If these are the highlights, what are the low points gonna be? Does Sonja get new interns for no reason whatsoever? How long will Jill stick around? And why is she back in the first place? Will anyone miss Jules? (No.) And how bananas is it gonna get when the women all take their turns guesting on Watch What Happens Live?! The mind reels as fast as our shame at loving this rises.

 

The Real Housewives of New York City, Season Premiere, Wednesday, April 5, 9/8c, Bravo