Kelly Clarkson Reveals She Was ‘Incredibly Sad Deep Inside’ When Talk Show First Began

The Kelly Clarkson Show
Weiss Eubanks/NBCUniversal

The Kelly Clarkson Show has been a hit with viewers since it debuted in 2019, but despite its success, Kelly Clarkson herself was in a bad place emotionally during the show’s first few years.

In a new interview with The Daily Beast, the former American Idol winner said the new season of her daytime talk show, which premiered Monday, October 16, will be the first season where she’s “not incredibly sad deep inside.”

The multi-time Emmy Award-winning series has moved to New York City from Los Angeles for its fifth season following Clarkson’s divorce from her music manager husband, Brandon Blackstock. The move has become something of a fresh start for the former The Voice coach and a chance to finally enjoy herself on set.

“It’s interesting: I did a really good job of smiling and showing up for work and compartmentalizing my personal life for a few years. Because I was really unhappy,” Clarkson explained. “It was really hard. I just was never fully present.”

She continued, “If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know that I was ever really fully present even from Season 1, because the struggle happens, obviously, before you end up getting divorced. There’s stuff happening before you make that announcement.”

Clarkson and Blackstock, the son of Narvel Blackstock and stepson of Reba McEntire, met in 2006, got engaged in 2012, and officially tied the knot in 2013. They welcome two children during their marriage, daughter River Rose and son Remington Alexander. Clarkson filed for divorce in 2020, which was finalized in 2022 after a tumultuous battle.

The messy divorce wasn’t the only issue that affected those early years of The Kelly Clarkson Show. Those early episodes were up against Donald Trump‘s impeachment trial, which preempted the show on numerous occasions. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and, more recently, the writer’s strike brought the show to a halt.

But now Clarkson is back and ready to fully embrace the show for the first time from a truly happy place. “This will be the first season I’m fully present and not incredibly sad deep inside,” she shared. “That’s going to be new for me: showing up and actually meaning it when I smile.”

The Kelly Clarkson Show, Weekdays, Check your local listings