‘Succession’: All of the Best Lines From Season 3
Succession delivered some more quotable dialogue in its third season at HBO.
Since its debut, the series following the Roy family has given viewers such gems as “you can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Greggs” or patriarch Logan’s (Brian Cox) favorite phrase of “f**k off,” among many others. Season 3 has proven to be just as strong with familial tensions at an all-time high.
Below, we’re rounding up some of the best lines from Season 3 as we eagerly await the arrival of Season 4.
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Succession, Season 4 Premiere, TBA, HBO
Episode 1
“No comment.”
— Cousin Greg (Nicholas Braun) can’t seem to help but repeat the common phrase as he and Kendall (Jeremy Strong) are bombarded by reporters after the explosive Season 2 press conference. It isn’t necessarily the line that’s so funny, but the serious manner in which Greg delivers it.
Episode 1
“I’m gonna grind his f**kin’ bones to make my bread.”
— Logan tells Kendall’s assistant Jess (Juliana Canfield) over the phone. As far as threats go, Logan’s never seemed more menacing than after Kendall’s attempt to take him down.
Episode 1
“Everything’s high risk if you’re a p***y.”
— Roman (Kieran Culkin) tells Shiv (Sarah Snook) when they discuss the risks Waystar faces following Kendall’s allegations against the company. While Logan wonders whether they should cooperate with the government, Shiv is reluctant to do anything but cooperate. Roman isn’t on the same page as his sister.
Episode 1
“Good meme-age.”
— Greg tells Kendall when he asks about his current “cultural temperature” on social media. And although Greg does say “the negative stuff does tend to stick in the mind,” he boosts Kendall’s confidence with the “meme-age” mention.
Episode 1
“This is like O.J. … I mean, except if O.J. never killed anyone.”
— Greg exclaims this upon learning that Kendall’s been denied access to the Waystar building.
“Who said I never killed anyone?”
— Kendall responds, hinting at his Season 1 car accident that left a civilian dead.
Episode 1
“It’s war, f**k off!”
— Logan tells his Waystar team as they organize their defense against Kendall’s allegations.
Episode 1
“Karl, if your hands are clean, it’s only because your whorehouse also does manicures.”
— Logan tells Karl (David Rasche) after he suggests himself for the CEO position.
Episode 1
“On a dumb level, I’d like my Twitter to be off the hook.”
— Kendall tells a pair of communication experts as he strategizes his next moves.
Episode 1
“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly.”
— Roman tells Gerri (J. Smith-Cameron) as they wait for news regarding Waystar’s next CEO in a hotel room.
“Can I remind you Roman, that so far as I’m concerned, nothing has ever happened between us other than of a professional nature.”
— Gerri responds to Roman, setting her boundaries with the loose cannon COO.
Episode 1
“Your friend doesn’t like you boo-hoo, boo-hoo and dad wants to fire you woo-hoo, woo-hoo.”
—Roman sings to Shiv after learning that Gerri has been named Waystar’s sitting CEO after his sister missed out on securing Lisa Arthur (Sanaa Lathan) for their legal team.
Episode 1
“We’ll f**kin’ beast ’em. We’ll go full f**king beast!”
— Logan shouts in exasperation as the brewing Roy family civil war begins.
Episode 2
“Logan is gonna fire a million poisonous spiders down your dickey.”
— Tom (Matthew Macfadyen) says to Greg over the phone as he tries to ascertain where the nervous relative’s loyalties lay.
Episode 2
“There he is, the little man who started this big war.”
— Shiv says to Kendall upon coming face-to-face with her brother for the first time since he hurled allegations of wrongdoing towards their father and Waystar Royco.
Episode 2
“The world is wobbling here. Does no one understand what the f**k is happening? I’m losing juice.”
— Logan yells at his team when they question what move he’d like to make next.
Episode 2
“Oh, here he comes, the attention whore.”
— Roman to Kendall when he sees his brother for the first time since the big press conference.
Episode 2
“I just think if everyone’s showing up to battle in armor, then I feel kind of exposed here in my loincloth.”
— Greg tells his grandfather Ewan (James Cromwell) as he worries about getting the right legal counsel.
Episode 2
“I wanna offer you a ticket to the f**kin’ escape pod.”
— Kendall tells his siblings in hopes of swaying them to join his side of the brewing family battle.
Episode 2
“But then, who ends up king potato?”
— Tom asks Shiv over the phone as she discusses the possibility of teaming up with her siblings to take Logan down.
Episode 3
“I’m just really happy in my headspace, and I hope they’re happy in theirs.”
— Kendall tells a reporter over lunch regarding his relationship with his siblings.
Episode 3
“It’s a little, ‘we get it already, stop moaning about the rapes.'”
— Shiv trashing Hugo’s (Fisher Stevens) response to the company’s employees and their possible concerns regarding the ongoing chaos surrounding the allegations made by Kendall.
Episode 3
“You sold your ass for a watch?”
— Tom questions Greg after learning the reason he’s reluctant to use the Waystar lawyers because Kendall’s hooking him up with a cool watch.
Episode 3
“The game is ‘good tweet, bad tweet.'”
— Kendall announces to his fellow limo riders on his way to a gala, asking them to both praise and roast him at the same time.
Episode 3
“I’m not a suicide bomber.”
— Kendall tells Shiv when she asks him to wait to raise chaos until their upcoming shareholders’ meeting.
Episode 3
“…health, safety, compliance, a few bad apples…”
— Logan tells Shiv about what might be in the papers Kendall is using as ammo against the company.
Episode 3
“Oh, f**k no, this will make him s**t his pop-tarts.”
— Roman’s response to hearing employee-submitted questions and his dad’s potential reaction to hearing them.
Episode 3
“Bring him up in the dumbwaiter like a f**kin’ hamburger.”
— Logan’s response to the news that Kendall’s coming into the office through the freight elevators.
Episode 3
“I would like som suck-suck on my dicky dick.”
— Connor bluntly demands favors in return for Shiv’s attempt to get her brothers’ signature on a take-down letter against Kendall.
“Same, I’m feeling brutally unsucky-sucked.”
— Roman adds in, mirroring Connor’s metaphorical request.
Episode 4
“Little Lord F**kleroy.”
— Kendall announcing himself over a conference call line with the team at Waystar Royco.
Episode 4
“Wokeahontas? Using a poor’s forehead as a post-it, it’s f**king killer. “
— Roman tells Gerri about a potentially damaging story from his and Kendall’s youth which involved getting Kendall’s initials tattooed on a homeless man’s forehead.
Episode 4
“What’s it worth in terms of the me of it all?”
— Greg asks Logan what it’s worth to him if he were to join his side and get joint counsel under Waystar’s legal team.
Episode 4
“Tell dad, meep meep.”
— Kendall tells Logan’s assistant over the phone as he explains why he started heading to Josh Aaronson’s (Adrien Brody) house early.
Episode 4
“F**kin’ King Kong came out to dance for me. I’m honored.”
— Josh thanks Kendall and Logan for meeting him to talk business.
Episode 4
“I got deep into the prison blogs about toilet wine.”
— Tom tells Shiv about the horrors that could await him during a potential prison stint.
Episode 4
“You tried to assassinate dad with the sun.”
— Roman accuses Kendall of trying to harm their dad after Logan suffers from a weak spell on Josh’s island.
Episode 5
“There he is, the Panic Meister cooking up his sweaty spaghetti.”
— Kendall greets Frank over the phone as they discuss the shareholder meeting.
Episode 5
“So, the news is, tomorrow we’re all gonna try to look for jobs in the same branch of Target.”
— Roman updates his eldest brother Connor on the state of the Roy family and their precarious position with the shareholders.
Episode 5
“How do I know he’s not your meat puppet?”
— Roman asks Sandi (Hope Davis) about her father’s input and its validity considering his incapacitated state.
Episode 5
“And just how bad will the burning be?”
— Greg asks Kendall after his cousin informs him that he could be used as bait if things at the shareholder meeting go south.
Episode 5
“We are a complicated coalition and Sandy’s the angriest f**king vegetable.”
— Stewy (Arian Moayed) explains to Kendall when he calls to ask about the negotiations between Sandy and his family.
Episode 5
“That is an imaginary cat. Now could you please f**k off?”
— Roman explains one of Logan’s UTI induced delusions to Kendall.
Episode 5
“I don’t want to be your f**king incubator.”
— Shiv tells Tom after he tries to convince her they should have a baby soon, especially if he ends up going to jail.
Episode 5
“You’re going to sue Greenpeace? I like your style, Greg.”
— Tom tells Greg after learning he plans to sue the charity in response to his grandfather reallocating his inheritance to the charity.
Episode 6
“So, you’re saying the papers are bulls**t?”
—Kendall asks Lisa, after he learns the case against Logan isn’t as strong as he once thought.
Episode 6
“Hey dude. Hope ur good. Just checking in. Any update on the burning?”
—a text from Greg to Kendall reads.
Episode 6
“Some Guy with an undercut just called me ‘soy boy.’”
—Cousin Greg says, observing the kind of demographic that’s attending the Future Freedom Summit.
“Oh, don’t worry, Greg. It’s a nice safe space where you don’t have to pretend to like Hamilton.”
—Tom tries reassuring his pal.
Episode 6
“Yeah, it’s like he’s a cartoon bear and there’s always a picnic hamper nearby.”
—Roman acknowledges Vice President Boyer’s (Reed Birney) habit of licking his lips.
Episode 6
“Just wanted to let you know, new dad just dropped.”
—Roman calls to tell Kendall about their mother’s surprise engagement.
Episode 6
“Well, you’re tired. You’ll feel better about that in the morning.”
—Shiv tells Tom who continues to spiral about his prison fears.
Episode 6
“Are you asking if you can hook your bauble of corporate wrongdoing on one of my branches, Greg?”
—Tom asks Greg who hopes his friend will take the fall for both of them so he can evade prison time.
“I just thought if it won’t make much difference to you…”
—Greg tries to justify his big ask.
Episode 6
“I like Connor Roy.”
—Connor says to his family, noting his preference for presidential candidate option.
Episode 6
“Stop being a dirty, little pixie whispering swastikas in dad’s ear.”
—Shiv tells Roman to stop pushing to support a fascist-like presidential candidate.
Episode 6
“I have of late decided not to tarry too much with hope.”
—Tom tells Kendall who is trying to persuade him to change sides in the Roy family fight.
Episode 7
“She’s gonna give birth to dad’s baby while we chant a satanic mass.”
— Roman speculates about Logan’s possible affair with Kerry (Zoe Winters).
Episode 7
“Apologies, Greg. I may have gotten a little carried away, but I just popped around to say, no one is going to jail.”
—Tom tells Greg after hearing that there will be no jail time for those involved with cruises.
Episode 7
“Did you ask for mommy’s permission for the use of squatch?”
—Roman asks Kendall after he walks through a tunnel that’s meant to resemble their mother’s vagina.
Episode 7
“We’ve got people in here picturing me jerking off. So, who’s the real winner?”
—Roman asks after seeing falsified headlines about his family in a display room at Kendall’s party.
Episode 7
“Oh man, what if McCartney tweets this?”
—Connor worries about the former Beatle seeing his embarrassing headline.
Episode 7
“The Odin of codin’.”
—Kendall gives Lukas Matsson (Alexander Skarsgard) an interesting nickname.
Episode 7
“Privacy, pussy, pasta.”
—A list of things Lukas claims he needs from Kendall’s party.
Episode 7
“It just feels like an a**hole’s party.”
—Kendall complains to his PR team after feeling the good vibes of his party beginning to dissipate.
Episode 7
“Dance of the sugar plumb failure.”
—Roman takes a stab at Shiv after her dance floor meltdown.
Episode 8
“Well, no, I mean if you jump out on someone on the road in the middle of the night, hit them on the head and shout, ‘I’m not ambushing you.’ It’s still a f**king ambush.”
—Stewy clarifies that Waystar’s secret acquisition of GoJo is seen as an ambush.
Episode 8
“Don’t open Pandora’s Box. There’s just more dicks in there.”
—Roman tells Gerri after she asks him to stop sending her “dick pics.”
Episode 8
“So, what do you expect me to survive on? Macaroni and memorial services?”
—Caroline (Harriet Walter) asks Roman after he questions her choice to get married.
Episode 8
“Is there depth there?”
—Greg wonders if Comfry (Dasha Nekrasova) is his right match.
Episode 8
“Will you make me the happiest man slash most bulletproof candidate in the world?”
—Connor proposes to a surprised Willa.
Episode 8
“I should have had dogs.”
—Caroline tells Shiv, suggesting that she would have been better off not having children.
Episode 8
“Can we be civil and not pull our guts out all over the table?”
—Logan asks Kendall over a tense dinner.
Episode 8
“I’m better than you. You’re, you know, I hate to say this because I love you, but you’re kind of evil.”
—Kendall tells Logan over dinner.
Episode 8
“Sometimes I think, should I maybe listen to the things you say directly in my face when we’re at our most intimate?”
—Tom wonders if he should take Shiv’s “I don’t love you” comment to heart or not.
Episode 8
“Well, we do publish a number of popular newspapers, so yes, son. We probably invented the f**king words.”
—Logan confirming with Roman that he’s aware of what the term “dick pics” means.
Episode 9
“C’mon dick pickler, pay up.”
—Shiv tells Roman to pay rent in Monopoly, referring to his “dick pic” debacle with Gerri.
Episode 9
“Let’s go see Hans Christian Anderf**k and see if he’s been telling us f**king fairytales.”
—Logan asks Roman to join him for a trip to see Lukas Matsson and discuss the potential Waystar-GoJo merger.
Episode 9
“You’re kind of at the top of the pile. We’ll do me tomorrow.”
—Roman says in response to Kendall’s accusation that his siblings also need interventions.
Episode 9
“If Roman marries her, he’ll invade France.”
—Tom warns Greg that he needs to make his moves with one of the royal guests at Caroline’s wedding or risk losing her to Roman.
Episode 9
“I have a beef with GreenPeace.”
—Greg opens with an interesting conversation starter.
Episode 9
“I’m not a f**k-o-meter.”
—Roman tells Shiv after she questions how many times their father swore during their meeting with Matsson.
Episode 9
“Leave me here with all the feelings, thank you.”
—Roman tells Shiv after she leaves him with a broken-down Kendall to take a phone call.
“Do you want to make a deal with the devil?
—Tom asks Greg, propositioning him for a vague business deal.
“What am I gonna do with a soul anyways? Souls are boring. Boo souls.”
—Greg eagerly goes all-in on Tom’s proposal.
Hiam Abbass
Nicholas Braun
Brian Cox
Kieran Culkin
Dagmara Dominczyk
Peter Friedman
Natalie Gold
Justine Lupe
Matthew MacFadyen
Arian Moayed
David Rasche
Alan Ruck
Parker Sawyers
Alexander Skarsgård
J. Smith Cameron
Sarah Snook
Fisher Stevens
Jeremy Strong
Rob Yang
Juliana Canfield
Scott Nicholson
Harriet Walter
⨁Full Cast & Crew
Conversation4 Comments
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O
This is such an incomplete list of the great lines. This is Baskin and Robbins 31 flavors of f****. I'm about to eat d*** for three hours, yes i need a room! The pope followed you - oh, not the pope, a pope.
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B
I just think, because of my physical length, I could be the target for all kinds of misadventure. ~ Greg, 3.6
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G
Greg said he had a beef with Greenpeace, not Tom
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O
I can’t believe the “wheat field of d*cks…” line, from Tom, isn’t in this one! Best line of the episode.
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