Best Lines of the Week (March 24-30): ‘We’re Not at a Shake Shack’

Succession - Zoe Winters

Time marches on as March turns to April. Yet, TV is always there for us.

Succession is back, baby! The fourth and final season premiered March 26 with Kendall (Jeremy Strong), Roman (Kieran Culkin), and Shiv (Sarah Snook) taking on their father Logan (Brian Cox) and the whole of Waystar Royco. Ambition certainly runs in the family. We also saw the return of Yellowjackets, where there is a lot of winter but little wonderland in the wilderness. Riverdale also kicked off its final season, and the gang is trapped in the ’50s.

Apple TV+’s Shrinking ended its first season with Jimmy (Jason Segal) officiating Brian’s (Michael Urie) wedding. Love was certainly in the air because it seems Gaby (Jessica Williams) has caught feelings for Jimmy! There might have also been a murder. Season 2, anyone?

Stay right there because we have other shows with some of our favorite lines of the week below!

Kristian Flores and Kiara Pichardo in School Spirits

School Spirits (Paramount+)

“What? It’s called psychological torture. Her penetrating gaze watches over us, especially Claire. If you really got something to hide, her eyes follow you.”

— Simon (Kristian Flores) tells Nicole (Kiara Pichardo) his plan to put Maddie’s (Peyton List) picture up at homecoming as a way of finding out who murdered her.

So Help Me Todd - Skylar Astin

So Help Me Todd (CBS)

Todd: “We need to talk to these jurors. All 12 of them. I mean nine. One is dead. I mean, nine is dead. The number nine. And three is accused of killing nine.”

Lyle: “Or maybe seven ate nine.”

— Lyle (Tristen J. Winger) makes a pun as Todd (Skylar Astin) theorizes what to do on a case involving a juror killing another juror in a roundabout way involving too many numbers.

Apple TV+

Shrinking (Apple TV+)

“Are you afraid you’re gonna be like Sandra Bullock from The Blind Side? Hmm? Everywhere you go, people are gonna look at you and go, ‘Look at that Blind Side-a** lady. Look at her, look at her.’”

— As a way to lighten the mood, Gaby (Jessica Williams) tells Liz (Christa Miller) she should let Sean (Luke Tennie) know she wants to be a partner in his business venture.


Station 19 (ABC)

“You need to be the person that you present online. Be authentic. Forget your damn phone and start having some respect for the people’s lives that are trying to save yours!”

— Travis (Jay Hayden) admonishes social media star Stella for caring more about livestreaming her rescue than ensuring the safety of herself and the team saving her.

Cole Sprouse as Jughead in Riverdale - Season 7, Episode 1
The CW

Riverdale (The CW)

Jughead: “I have an idea. Now, it’s a crazy one, but it might work. So, short of waiting for Bailey’s Comet to return, the other way that we could break through the space-time barrier is by getting Archie and Betty to make out on top of Archie’s bed. And then we blow up a bomb underneath them.”

Archie: “Alright Jug, that’s enough, man. Let’s go for a walk.”

Jughead: “You’re not gonna beat me up, are you? Because you’re really violent in the future.”

— Jughead (Cole Sprouse) offers a comedic, chaotic way out of the group’s messy situation.

Succession - Zoe Winters

Succession (HBO)

“We’re not at a f**king Shake Shack, Greg.”

— Kerry (Zoë Winters) scolds Greg (Nicholas Braun) for bringing a random girl as his plus one to a birthday party, specifically one at Logan’s home.

Yellowjackets cookie

Yellowjackets (Showtime)

“The only thing you should ever say to the police is ‘I want my lawyer.’ That’s why I put it on the cookie.”

— Adult Misty (Christina Ricci) preps adult Shauna (Melanie Lynskey) for a police interrogation using an unorthodox (but delicious) method.

Season 6, episode 6 of 'American Idol' on ABC

American Idol (ABC)

Katy Perry: “Dad, if you can get any words out, what does this mean?”

Mike Brown: “I’ve been fortunate enough to see all my children be born. It’s like I’m watching her be born again, so this is everything.”

— Mikenley Brown’s father gets emotional watching his daughter, who survived an eating disorder and being bullied, get through to Hollywood Week.


The Voice (NBC)

“I didn’t sleep a wink last night because of this. Because I’ve been on a show like this, and I know exactly how it feels to stand there and know that your future is in the hands of someone else.”

— Coach Niall Horan has to decide which contestant, Gina Miles or Kala Banham, wins the Voice Battle.


The Masked Singer (FOX)

“Let’s go have a beer!”

Cheers star George Wendt is revealed to be the Moose on The Masked Singer.


The Bachelor (ABC)

“You’re the only one I want in my life. I want to spend life with you. You truly are my world, and you are my best friend. I love you, Kaity Lane. I love you so much. So, Kaity, will you marry me?”

Zach Shallcross proposes to Kaity Biggar.