Best Lines of the Week (May 29-June 4): 'Offensive & Out of Date, Just Like You'

TV Best Lines Insecure Agents of SHIELD Quiz
HBO/Anne Marie Fox; ABC/Matthias Clamer; AMC/ITV

This week in TV, we laughed with Hasan Minhaj on Patriot Act, Issa Rae on Insecure, and Matt LeBlanc on Man With A Plan. Plus, we heard a hilarious take on the Iowa Primary on Late Night With Seth Meyers.

Investigations began to brew on Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich and Quiz, while Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Snowpiercer featured intellectual comebacks and witty comments.

'Space Force's Steve Carell & Greg Daniels on the High Stakes of the Workplace ComedySee Also

'Space Force's Steve Carell & Greg Daniels on the High Stakes of the Workplace Comedy

Air Force general Naird must oversee the U.S.'s outer space defense program in this workplace comedy.

 

See below for some lines on TV this week that stood out.

Snowpiercer Katie McGuinness Josie
TNT/Justina Mintz

Snowpiercer (TNT)

“You’d think, with all we’ve lost, defeat would break us. But the only reason we’re here is because we refuse to die in the first place. We’re as persistent as the cold, forever trapped beneath the ice. We keep our eyes on the floor, dig our nails in, and prepare to brace.”

— Josie (Katie McGuinness), a poor woman who spends her days on the train caring for her ill-stricken husband and her son

Man With A Plan Matt LeBlanc Adam
CBS

Man With A Plan (CBS)

“I’m just gonna take the test now, Arthur. And yes, I WILL be taking the survey after!”

— Adam (Matt LeBlanc) gets forceful with a very rude DMV employee as he prepares to retake the written driver’s exam for the first time in decades.

Late Night With Seth Meyers Host June 3
NBC

Late Night With Seth Meyers (NBC)

“Republican congressman and white supremacist Steve King lost his race in yesterday’s Iowa Primary, which is tough for King, because his race is like his favorite thing.”

Seth Meyers during his opening monologue for the June 3 Late Night episode

Jeffrey Epstein Filthy Rich Netflix
Netflix

Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich (Netflix)

“We were frustrated that, while some people were cooperative, most victims did not want to prosecute for fear of Jeffrey Epstein.”

– Michael Reiter, the former chief of police of Palm Beach, Florida who led early investigations into Jeffrey Epstein

Sweet Magnolias Heather Headley Helen Decatur
Netflix/Eliza Morse

Sweet Magnolias (Netflix)

“That was the most magnificent thing I’ve seen you do since you ate that lizard in kindergarten.”

— Attorney Helen Decatur (Heather Headley) comforting her client and friend Maddie Townsend (JoAnna Garcia Swisher)

Space Force Steve Carrell Mark Naird
Netflix/Aaron Epstein

Space Force (Netflix)

“Gender roles: offensive and out of date, just like you.”

— Mark Naird (Steve Carell) stands up to his arch-nemesis, Kick Grabaston (Noah Emmerich), after becoming a four-star general.

Patriot Act Hasan Minaj Netflix
Netflix/Cara Howe

Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj (Netflix)

“And all the articles are like, ‘Hey, we are living through history!’ But you know what? Living through history blows. Reading history is awesome, because you know how everything ends.” 

— Hasan Minhaj discusses the surrealism of the events that everyone in the world today is living through

Quiz Mark Bonnar Paul Smith
AMC/ITV

Quiz (AMC)

“It’s not a game show. It’s a quiz. That’s the joy of it. People love a good pub quiz. A uniquely British invention, combining our two greatest loves, drinking and being right.”

– Paul (Mark Bonnar) analyzes a game show pitch that he would like to redesign.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Jemma Simons Elizabeth Henstridge
ABC/Matthias Clamer

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)

“I’m a biochemist, not a bird.”

—Agent Jemma Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) retaliates against a sexist comment made during their time in 1931 while being the smartest person in the room.

Insecure Issa Rae HBO
HBO/Anne Marie Fox

Insecure (HBO)

“It almost killed me, but I did that s***!”

– Issa (Issa Rae) shares her feelings with Lawrence (Jay Ellis) about the process of independently planning her Los Angeles block party.