‘Alaskan Bush People’ New Season 12 Preview (VIDEO)
[Update: Since this story published, a wildfire ignited in the Palmer Mountain area of Okanogan County. Reportedly, the area involved includes the property used to shoot Alaskan Bush People. Our best wishes go out to the firefighters working to contain the blaze, and for the safety of residents and the Alaskan Bush People cast and crew.]
To my chagrin and to Discovery Channel’s shame, there’s going to be yet another season of Alaskan Bush People.
Check out the first look at Season 12ish from Discovery:
While facing a brutal winter that threatens the family’s progress on the ranch, the Browns are more determined than ever to protect their dream.
A new season of #AlaskanBushPeople starts Sunday, August 23rd on @Discovery. pic.twitter.com/UL1mwTRiL6
— Alaskan Bush People (@AlaskanBushPPL) July 31, 2020
After showing us a bunch of stuff from last season, we get to see what looks like a ridiculous Bush Renaissance Faire, Bear playing with his asphyxiophilia device, and Gabe drooling like a toddler and then getting his ass handed to him by an ostrich.
And howling. Always with the stupid howling.
In accordance with tradition, I recap Discovery Channel’s official press release announcing the season:
THE BROWN FAMILY BATTLES MOTHER NATURE’S EXTREME WEATHER IN BRAND-NEW SEASON OF ALASKAN BUSH PEOPLE PREMIERING AUGUST 23 ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL
(Los Angeles) – This season the Wolfpack faces the biggest challenge of their lives, in subzero temperatures, to complete the family’s dream cabin on the mountain before Spring. It’s a race against time as the Browns attempt to build the centerpiece to their growing ranch during the worst winter conditions since leaving Alaska.
Fake Urgency, Fake Construction, Billy’s Monthslong Dream Ranch, Fake EXXXXTREME Weather. Damn, this paragraph has it all! I am calling total B.S. on that subzero temperatures stuff. If you look at weather data for Loomis, Bushington, you’ll see the lowest temperature recorded last winter was 4 degrees on January 14, 2020. It was mostly in the 30s and 40s in January. Where I live, that’s beach weather.
As the family struggles to protect themselves, their animals, and critical infrastructure from the extreme freeze, a new member enters the family as brother Gabe welcomes his first child to the wilderness. The brand-new season of ALASKAN BUSH PEOPLE premieres Sunday, August 23rd at 8PM ET/PT on Discovery Channel.
The only thing the Browns’ animals need protection from is the Browns’ incompetence.
Brother Gabe and his wife Raquell have been surprisingly hush-hush on the birth of their new cast member, unlike Noah and She Who Will Not Be Named getting all up in our faces with every single detail of their child’s gestation. Perhaps Raquell, having already erred by marrying into the Brown family, doesn’t want to make another mistake by dragging their newborn daughter into this circus.
While facing a brutal winter that threatens the family’s progress on the entire ranch, the Browns are more determined than ever to protect their dream. In an effort to keep their parents in the bush amidst Billy’s health concerns, the kids join forces to complete a two-story cabin that will be home for Billy, Ami, Noah, Rhain Alisha, Eli, Gabe, Raquell, and their new baby. But with the foundation started late, the siblings must build a mega bonfire in an attempt to unfreeze the frozen ground.
Father Billy’s more determined than ever to protect his Discovery Channel meal ticket. They’re presenting this cabin as though it were something the kids are voluntarily building to help with Billy’s Billy Brown Syndrome, when it is really a scheme devised by Billy to keep his kids and their spouses under his thumb and for Park Slope to pay for more structures on his land.
I’d like to throw all things Alaskan Bush People into a mega bonfire and watch it get reduced to ash [Update: Well, not LITERALLY.] in an attempt to unfreeze my frozen heart.
Gabe grows into his role as protector as he becomes a dad and learns to ride a horse to scout the property.
The only thing he can scout is the internet for easily impressed Swedish women.
Gabe can’t care for himself much less another human being. It sounds like Raquell doesn’t have much else going on, so I’m sure she’ll be caring for the young ‘un while Gabe licks rocks or castrates goats or whatever.
Bear re-immerses himself in the wild as he struggles to cope with a devastating breakup.
If you haven’t been following the sordid saga of Bear and his baby mama Raiv3n, then you’re missing out on a gorgeous trainwreck. The parties have been locking legal horns over visitation and custody of their infant son, River. Bear’s lawyer, Blake Fulton Quackenbush Esq. (I’m NOT making that name up), recently dumped Bear as a client. Quackenbush must’ve realized no amount of money is worth wasting more time on this Cro-Magnon moron.
Meanwhile, Raiv3n went nuclear and claimed Alaskan Bush People is 90% fake. I don’t know what kind of non-disclosure agreement she signed to appear on the show, but I’m sure she violated it. No doubt some Park Slope shyster is already on the case. Unfortunately, Raiv3n didn’t disclose anything that we haven’t already known for years.
I wonder if ABP will acknowledge that Bear and Raiv3n had premarital sexytime resulting in the conception and birth of a child outside the bonds of holy wedlock. The pearl-clutching cat-fanciers who adore these clowns and their faux family values would have a conniption.
Noah gets inventive and builds the family’s first tractor snowplow and Bird takes her leather-crafting skills to a whole new level.
Noah’s already built a terrible fire engine and mutilated an old school bus to use as the Brown Star Ark wildfire evacuation transport. Now Noah’s going to half-ass fake build a plow attachment for his tractor. I don’t know why they don’t just get the guy who plowed the road last winter.
Those guys who are horny for Birdy just perked up, but I’m sure she’s not making dominatrix gear. She’s probably just making Bush baseball gloves. I wonder if they slaughtered Brutus the bull for his hide.
Battling extreme weather and new life changes, the Browns put their family bond to the test as they race to complete the cabin.
Fake EXXXXTREME Weather, Fake Urgency, Fake Construction, etc. Even the press releases are redundant. The only true “family bond” in the Brown clan is a mutual hostility and their total reliance on a domineering patriarch who is their lone source of income.
In addition to watching the series on Discovery, viewers can check out new episodes each week by visiting Discovery.com/AlaskanBushPeople or by downloading the Discovery GO app. Viewers can join the conversation on social media by using #AlaskanBushPeople and following the show on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for the latest updates.
Have you ever followed the #AlaskanBushPeople hashtag on Twitter during an episode? It’s like 50 people bashing the Browns and then one clueless dolt who genuinely enjoys the show. Now Discovery is trying to push #TheBushLife hashtag on us. I’m looking forward to hijacking that one, too.
Alaskan Bush People, Season 12 Premiere, Sunday, August 23, 8/7c, Discovery Channel
Conversation22 Comments
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Comments are closed on this story.
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R
While many know the show that shows the Browns in the Bush is just not so real. I don't understand the nastiness I just read in this article. The rule I follow is if you dont like it, ,then don't watch.
20 7
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G
Fake show. Real morons.
14 5
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O
Yes the show is fake but I watch because it’s amusing! It’s my secret pleasure to watch and laugh at the whole scenario.
7 1
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G
I used to watch this so I occasionally click the articles.... but It got so ridiculous... so I got a new guilty pleasure... sMothered lol Only room for one really trash/fake show LOL
2 1
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O
I think people should keep there nasty coments to themselves. People can choose to watch ABP if they want to or not there's no need to be snarky about it. Why are you watching it if it's not to your taste ?
13 7
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B
Excellent recap. And with that recap am I absolved of watching season 452 of the WBP. I need to wander and wonder why I need to wear a face mask and keep social distance from rattlers, scorpions and Gila monsters whilst I spend as Moses did his forty days and nights wandering. As your new neighbor and BFF, Noah, the resident herpetologist maybe he can tell you if reptiles and insects can transmit the China virus.
9 4
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O
Love ya, Bob. Hope you're well in the wastelands. My Snowbird people shall be migrating to you in due time.
2 1
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B
I am sure your peeps in this vast wasteland have been keeping you advised of the worldwide heat records we are breaking every day. Might tell your snowbird friends to hold off their visit to next April.
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R
I’m glad you’re not a ‘judge’ sitting on a bench somewhere.
10 6
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B
Oh, Lordy say it ain’t true.
"Alaskan Bush People" star Bear Brown is extremely upset over the way his family is being portrayed in the media by one individual and hauled off on social media in a long rant defending his family's honor. Bear took to Instagram late Saturday afternoon to go public with his frustration over an entertainment news reporter who Bear feels has an ax to grind with the famed reality stars.
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O
Yes, unfortunately that is a thing that happened.
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B
The show is a comedy but the browns are somehow not aware of this fact. Show should be called The Washington Hillbilly's. Ryan, you are a legend.
4 2
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C
I gave up watching this crap after season 10 it was just getting too silly
3 1
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C
My guilty pleasure watching this show these people are so fked up but I cant stop watching to what else there going to screw up, from not building shelters for these animals with good straw bedding to keep warm to no straw or shavings in the barn. Like if they dont take the Male goat or the bull out of the pens and keep them separated there going to be over run by goats and why do they need all these animals they dont eat them they don't sell them so what's the point there feeding alfalfa hay which is very expensive the most expensive hay you can buy lol. And give me a break we all know that they didn't build that barn or that windmill for water one minute they show them trying to put it together and the next minute it's done. And we all know they have a house in town where they really live so who are they fooling I was raised on a huge dairy farm my brother had chickens and ducks we raised pigs so I know what in the hell I'm talking about but hey like I said my guilty pleasure lol
4 2
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C
I like this show.
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C
I think the show should be taken off.Just bull.All liars.Be something worth watching.
3 3
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G
Kind of ironic how people question why some one who is reviewing a TV show would actually express an opinion on it instead of turning the other cheek. Perhaps the audience for this show shares the same lack of intellect as the subjects of the show.
4 4
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O
Bilky's still polishing this turd, and amazingly the spinsters still can't get enough of these dolts. People that like this show should not be able to vote or drive...
5 5
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O
I think you spent a long time writing an article that NOBODY cares about. I’m comment 12... So you’re probably just as useless as this show Ry! Ohhhhh you did it for the money? Lot of that going round.
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O
You cared enough to comment on it. And you did it for free.
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C
What the hell is wrong with you that you have to be so cruel?!?! I’d be ashamed of you if I were your mother. I feel sorry for you that you’re so insecure with yourself that you have to try and hurt other people. Wow! It’s too bad everyone isn’t perfect like you!
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O
Really glad you're not my mother.
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