‘Married at First Sight’: Nicole & Chris Talk What They’d Change About Season 16 & Tease Reunion
Q&A
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Married at First Sight Season 16 brought viewers to Nashville where they were introduced to five matches, one of which has remained strong throughout the social experiment. Nicole and Chris have remained a beacon of hope for the viewers and fans who wish to see matches find happiness together over the eight-week experiment; it culminates in the all-important Decision Day, when couples decide if they’ll stay married or get divorced after saying “I do” at the beginning of the season.
Throughout the process, Nicole and Chris continuously chose each other and remain a strong pair heading into the highly-anticipated reunion for Season 16. Below, find out what the couple had to say about the lessons they’ve learned from marriage, from each other, and from the other participants, along with what fans can expect from the upcoming reunion.
(Credit: Lifetime)
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from this experience?
Nicole: Being vulnerable shows strength and courage, not weakness. The only way for your partner to learn who you are down to your core is to open up and let them in. Going through this experience forced me to let my wall down from the start and show my vulnerability right away. Doing so made me feel empowered instead of scared, and having such an amazing partner made me feel safer than hiding behind an emotional wall ever did.
Chris: The importance of communication and even if you don’t always see eye to eye on things, it is important to always fully talk things through and make sure each other feels heard. Marriage is about compromise and coming together to work towards building a life together. It is about give and take when you are not on the same page and it cannot be one-sided. As long as both people are willing to communicate, you will always be able to come to a solution and have someone willing to work with you.
What’s something you learned from each other?
Nicole: It’s perfectly acceptable for marriage to not always be a 50-50 partnership. There are times when I’m really struggling and can only give 20 percent to our marriage, but Chris is there to pick up the other 80 percent. There are also times when the roles are reversed and I need to carry more of our marriage. Chris taught me that as long as we’re always there for each other and trust that we can lean on each other, our marriage will always be at 100 percent.
(Credit: Lifetime)
Chris: I truly have a great partner in Nicole. I learned that it is OK to be vulnerable with her and that she will have my back no matter what and not judge me. Nicole and I were very open and vulnerable with each other throughout this experience — sometimes a little too vulnerable — but it helped us really get to know each other and what we have been through, and I thank her for not having a wall up as that would have made this process exponentially tougher.
What’s something you’ve learned from the other participants this season?
Nicole: A particular conversation I had with the ladies changed how I view my marriage and all the other relationships in my life. They pointed out that sometimes it’s more important to focus on the intention of someone’s actions rather than their execution. There have been times when I expected something to happen a certain way and was disappointed when it happened differently. The gals taught me that something might not look how I expected it to but that doesn’t mean any less thought or effort was put into it. This mindset has allowed me to fully appreciate all the amazing things Chris does for me and also to focus less on how I do things and more on why I do them.
Chris: It is OK to ask for advice and help when you are not sure what to do. If I was experiencing something that I was not fully able to understand, the others were there to bounce things off of and help in giving advice or viewpoints I may not have thought of. I learned I wasn’t alone in this process as I had other great people in this with me going through some of the same things who could help offer guidance. For example, one of the guys told me to do the little things to make my wife’s day. It could be as simple as leaving a nice handwritten note for her or as grand as saying, “Hey, here is some money and go treat yourself to a spa day because you deserve it!” It’s the thoughtfulness that really makes something grand or not.
(Credit: Lifetime)
How much of these marriages do you think are made up of hard work and how much is made up of luck?
Nicole: I think these marriages are 75 percent hard work and 25 percent luck. “Traditional” couples have time to work through the harder parts of marriage, such as having difficult and vulnerable conversations, planning a future together, and figuring out if your partner is aligned with your ideals and values. All of that becomes much harder when you factor in that you’re doing all of this on a time crunch with a stranger. You both have to be committed to fully diving right into the process and putting in the work in order to have a good enough sense of each other by decision day and beyond. Although a lot of hard work goes into making these marriages work, if you’re lucky enough to be matched with someone who you’re automatically compatible with, the hard work becomes a little bit easier. Luck was involved in bringing Chris and I together, but we still had to, and continue to, put in the hard work to make our marriage successful.
Chris: I honestly think it is a combination of both luck and hard work. We all really put our futures and relationships in the hands of the experts, and no matter how thorough you were in filling everything out for the process, it ultimately was up to the experts to find you a match. You could be a great match on paper, but if you’re not willing to put in the work it probably won’t work out. So to me, finding the person is somewhat lucky, but getting the marriage to actually work is where the hard work comes into play.
Is there anything you’d change about your approach to the marriage at the beginning?
Nicole: I wouldn’t… but I would love to go back and change my mindset. I was determined to learn everything I could about Chris and share everything I could about myself before Decision Day and I lost sight of what was happening in the present. I focused on big future milestones from day 1 instead of celebrating the tiny milestones that we were hitting every day. If I had a different mindset from the beginning, I wouldn’t have needed as much validation throughout the process. I wouldn’t have needed to ask Chris about his Decision Day answer all the time if I stopped to focus on what his daily actions were showing me. Spoiler alert: All his actions pointed to a yes to Decision Day and forever with me.
Chris: I would have focused more on positive good experiences in my life than just the vulnerable and tough times. I felt that the more vulnerable I was, the better it will really allow my wife to know what I have been through so I can be clear on what I don’t want and what I do want… But at times that got really heavy so balancing that all out with the great positive things that happened in my life would be a welcomed change if I could do this all over again.
What can fans expect from the reunion?
Nicole: Fans can expect to see one very happily married couple, a lot of great friendships, and a ton of overall growth at the reunion. Although marriage didn’t work out for the rest of the cast, we all had tremendous personal growth and have turned from strangers to friends to the unique family we now see ourselves as. We’re not a dramatic bunch (sorry, folks), but the reunion offers some clarity on unresolved lingering questions that fans might have. If we’re really lucky, the reunion will show Chris and I having (and me winning) an epic lightsaber battle that truly represents all the fun and joy that fills our marriage.
Chris: Fans can expect to get some great updates from me and Nicole as well as the rest of the cast. You will get to see how everyone is processing what we all went through and how close we all are from going through this process together. You will also get an update on all the dogs as well as an answer from Nicole’s Dad if I in fact truly do have BDE or not?!
Married at First Sight, Season 16, Wednesdays, 8/7c, Lifetime
