‘Ghosts’: Read a Page From the Season 2 Premiere Script

For Woodstone’s Select Spirits

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Last we saw living couple Samantha (Rose McIver) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar), on Ghosts they’d just fallen through the ground floor of their historic B&B. We can’t spoil whether the accident gives Jay the ability to see and hear the resident ghosts the way she can, but exec producers Joe Port and Joe Wiseman did give us a script page from the return episode, “Spies.” They even added a few insights!

The Script

INTERIOR WOODSTONE ESTATE — LIVING ROOM — DAY:
Sam addresses all the ghosts. Jay is there as well.

SAMANTHA: As you all know, our first guests—not including the ones who left after the floor collapsed — will be arriving any moment.

TREVOR: Please be young and hot. Or young, or hot.

SAMANTHA: And we really need this visit to go well. After the floor thing, the last people gave us a scathing one-star review on Yelp.

JAY: Which is a website that allows customers to rate and review businesses like our B&B.

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HETTY: The fates of industry should not be decided by commoners. Sometimes you bite into a sausage and get a worker’s thumb. Just go on with your miserable day and let the factory owners be!

SAMANTHA: Fun perspective. The point is, we need everyone on their best behavior.

JAY: That means no ghost powers. Thor, no futzing with the electricity. Alberta, please keep your creepy humming to yourself.

ALBERTA: Creepy?

SAMANTHA: I mean, I love it, but yeah, when it’s dis­connected from any visible body, it’s a little unnerving.

JAY: Especially when one is trying to moisturize. And also, guys, stay out of their room. This isn’t a peep show.

ALBERTA: Oh, come on. What do you care if we go into the guests’ room? They won’t know.

SASAPPIS: Yeah, we’ve been spying on Livings for hundreds of years. Until TV it was our only form of entertainment.

FLOWER: Yeah, honestly, Sam, if we can’t spy, why are we even opening this B&B?

SAMANTHA: To make money so we can eat.

ISAAC: Oh, someone can consume food. Must be nice.

(Credit: CBS)

The Producers Say

We are very excited to finally have the Woodstone B&B open for business (as are Jay and Sam!). We don’t want the show to turn into a Newhart guest-of-the-week situation, but we think this will give us a great avenue for stories.

Even though last season we learned he is actually a very sweet guy at heart, Trevor can’t help being Trevor!

Jay is catching on to the ghost thing, anticipating what modern concepts will bewilder them and offering answers before they even have to ask.

This is a disturbing thing to think about: What if ghosts are real and they spend all their time watching you do everything? But what if that power could be harnessed for good? This episode explores that very question.

Ghosts, Season 2 Premiere, Thursday, September 29, 8:30/7:30c, CBS