Best Lines of the Week (March 24-31): ‘I Go By Jason Now’

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jane the virgin-jason
The CW

Jane the Virgin (The CW)

Actually, I go by Jason now, ma’am.

—Michael (Brett Dier) revealing to Jane that he has amnesia, has started a new life and now has a new name.

ap bio

A.P. Bio (NBC)

Color me surprised, but guess which recently divorced high school principal with a slight case of psoriasis was just named one of Toledo’s top 100 bachelors!

—Principal Durbin (Patton Oswalt) announcing to Jack (Glenn Howerton) and the rest of his colleagues that he has been picked as one of Toledo’s Top 100 Bachelors.

black monday

Black Monday (Showtime)

Black Monday (Showtime)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do the f—king hokey pokey.

—Blair (Andrew Rannells) swiftly ends an unpleasant conversation at his wedding with his boss Mo (Don Cheadle).


SMILF (Showtime)

Sully: Wait, I know you… You’re SMILF. Single Mom…

Bridgette: Is Losing Faith. That’s right.

Sully: Well, you restored mine.

— Bridgette’s (Frankie Shaw) response during her Old West-themed fantasy.

the other two
Comedy Central

The Other Two (Comedy Central)

Streeter: Carey, welcome to the VMAs… I think your cab driver cuts my hair.

Carey: I’m sure he does.

—Streeter (Ken Marino) recognizing Carey’s (Drew Tarver) cab driver (Richard Kind), who is also his agent, and performs lot of other odd jobs around the city.

kids are alright

The Kids Are Alright (ABC)

I’m taking your mother for her driving test, so stay off the streets and the sidewalks. In fact, just to be safe, you might want to hide indoors.

—Mike (Michael Cudlitz) announces to his sons that he is taking their mother, Peggy (Mary McCormack), to get her license, and he gives them some advice too.

madam secretary

Madam Secretary (CBS)

I met my husband the old-fashioned way — at an inaugural ball.

—Adele (Sandra Daley) telling Stevie (Wallis Currie-Wood) about how she met her husband, after she walks in on Stevie scrolling on a dating app during work.

Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker in Real Housewives of Atlanta

Real Housewives of Atlanta (BRAVO)

Todd: We’re getting it. Give me five, babe!

Kandi: No, you just leave your hand up there.

—Kandi Burruss and her husband, Todd Tucker, discussing decorations for their restaurant, Old Lady Gang.

good girls

Good Girls (NBC)

Gregg: You know what I’ve always loved about you?

Annie: Please don’t.

Gregg: Your eyebrows.

—Gregg (Zach Gilford) trying to persuade Annie (Mae Whitman) to be with him, even if it means that he has to leave his pregnant wife, Nancy (Sally Pressman).

Good Trouble

Good Trouble (Freeform)

Malika: If the truth feels like an attack, you need to check your privilege.

Davia: I didn’t know it was a privilege to have a conversation with my friend without feeling patronized or judged.

—Davia (Emma Hunton) and Malika (Zuri Adele) have an intense argument over white privilege when Malika accuses Davia of not realizing that one of her students may be homeless.

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It’s been a great week on TV, so we’ve rounded up our most favorite lines from Jane the Virgin, A.P. Bio and more!

Click through our gallery to see our favorite lines of the week!