Best Lines of the Week (October 28-November 3): ‘I Left a Lame Excuse in the Oven!’

Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin
Fox

Going into a new month means even more new TV!

This week we were lucky enough to binge a whole bunch of new series and seasons, including the highly-anticipated The White Lotus. In the new season, we find ourselves in a new country (Italy) and with a completely new cast (except for the comedy icon Jennifer Coolidge).

The newest season of Big Mouth also premiered this week with a funny yet uncomfortable list of new shenanigans that the crew gets into, starting off with Nick (Nick Kroll) setting up a ‘hookup house’ for his friends to use for some… privacy. Blockbuster also dropped (finally!), and it was well worth the wait, using edgy comedy to showcase the downfall of the company.

Want to know which lines we loved this week? Keep reading to find out!

Melissa
ABC

Abbott Elementary (ABC)

Melissa: “A parent said something that almost triggered my fight-or-fight response.”

Gregory: “You mean fight or flight?”

Melissa: “No, I’m not a flippin’ bird, Gregory.”

— After a harmful commercial about their school, the teachers (Lisa Ann Walter and Tyler James Williams) discuss how the parents have said hurtful things to them.

 

Mads, Judd
HBO

Avenue 5 (HBO)

“Can you take a photograph of me signing an official Judd NDA? I’m so honored”

— Mads (Adam Pålsson) is overwhelmed with joy signing an NDA.

Andrew Glouberman, Nick Birch
Netflix

Big Mouth (Netflix)

Nick: “Are you a local child looking for hot action?”

Andrew: “But you live at home with your father who wants to remove your penis?”

— In a commercial advertised to students in their school, Nick (Kroll) and Andrew (John Mulaney) pitch a hookup house for all of their friends to use.

Timmy, Eliza
Netflix

Blockbuster (Netflix)

“A block party? That’s your idea? No, I like it. I just thought it would be better. I’m sorry, I meant smarter. Thought it’d be good. Keep going.”

— Timmy (Randall Park) isn’t impressed with his coworker Eliza’s (Melissa Fumero) plan to keep their Blockbuster store going.

Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin
Fox

Family Guy (Fox)

“Um, Peter, I-I need to go downstairs, I… I left a lame excuse on the stove”

— After finding out that Peter (Seth MacFarlane) has been replaced by a hologram, Lois (Alex Borstein) panics.

Marge Simpson
Fox

The Simpsons (Fox)

“Stay back, you overdressed hat demon! I know you feed on my repressed resentment towards my family, but I can swallow feelings like a python eating a baby goat!”

—In this spooky Halloween episode, Marge (Julie Kavner) and Maggie (Nancy Cartwright) find themselves opponents against a sophisticated demon who was released from a bedtime storybook.

Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian
Hulu

The Kardashians (Hulu)

“Kim, you tailor your underwear.”

Kim Kardashian is worried about not fitting into Marylin Monroe’s dress for the MET Gala.

Daphne, Cameron
HBO

The White Lotus (HBO)

“Cameron really likes to watch macho reality TV. The guys are really ugly.”

— Daphne (Meghann Fahy) makes fun of her husband’s (Theo James) taste in TV.

Meg, John
The CW

The Winchesters (The CW)

“Am I interrupting whatever hetero mating ritual this is?”

—Carlos (Jojo Fleites) catches Mary (Meg Donnelly) training John (Drake Rodger) for fighting demons at a particularly intense moment.

Simon
Netflix

Young Royals (Netflix)

“You could sit in the front at least. I’m not a taxi.”

— Marcus (Tommy Wättring) rushed to Simon’s (Omar Rudberg) rescue by giving him a ride to check on his sister.