Best Lines of the Week (March 27-April 2): ‘You’re a Terrible Bowler’

arrow - left
arrow - right
best-lines-april-3
Starz; Chuck Hodes/Fox; Netflix
Antonia Thomas and Nicholas Gonzalez in 'The Good Doctor'
ABC/Jack Rowand

The Good Doctor (ABC)

Melendez: “You’re a terrible bowler, maybe the worst I’ve ever seen.”

Claire: “And I wanted to tell you I hate your tattoo. Way too much antler. I love you.”

Melendez: “I love you too.”

– Dr. Neil Melendez (Nicholas Gonzalez) exchanges final words of love and teasing on his deathbed with Dr. Claire Browne (Antonia Thomas).

Elton John iHeart Living Room Concert
Fox

The iHeartRadio Living Room Concert for America (Fox)

“Those doctors, nurses, and scientists on the frontline, they’re living proof that most superheroes don’t wear capes.”

– Sir Elton John hosts and performs in a star-studded fundraiser for Coronavirus relief.

Duncan Lacroix in 'Outlander'
Starz

Outlander (Starz)

“Doesn’t hurt a bit to die.”

– Murtagh (Duncan Lacroix) meets his end at the Battle of Alamance.

Eric Stonestreet, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Aubrey Emmons in 'Modern Family'
ABC/Bonnie Osborne

Modern Family (ABC)

Mitchell: “Our son!”

Cam: “He’s beautiful!”

Lily: “We got this.”

– The Tucker-Pritchett family meets their new bundle of joy two weeks early.

The Judges of 'The Voice.'
Trae Patton/NBC

The Voice (NBC)

“Blake Shelton knowing a Lizzo song just really makes me happy. I know he secretly jams to that.”

– Kelly Clarkson comments on Team Blake’s choice to perform “Good As Hell” by Lizzo in this week’s battle.

Retta, Mae Whitman and Christina Hendricks in 'Good Girls'
Jordin Althaus/NBC

Good Girls (NBC)

Max: “I don’t want to go to the cops.”

Beth: “Okay, good.”

Max: “I want to kill him.”

– Max (Wesam Keesh) seeks revenge on Rio (Manny Montana) for his girlfriend Lucy’s (Charlyne Yi) murder.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
NBC

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC)

“Some business news: as of Friday, the video conferencing company Zoom has valued at more than $40 billion, or roughly as much as Uber, which makes sense because they’re both places where users have no idea how to mute themselves.”

– Jimmy Fallon jokes about Zoom’s booming business in his opening monologue.

Taraji P. Henson as Cookie in Empire
Chuck Hodes/FOX

Empire (Fox)

“If I see you at Andre’s wedding, I’m going to beat your ass in front of the preacher in the name of Jesus.”

– Cookie (Taraji P. Henson) gives her sister Candace (Vivica A. Fox) a warning.

Matt Walsh, Nicole Byer and Jacques Torres in 'Nailed It!'
Netflix

Nailed It! (Netflix)

“Do you ever find it ironic that you are a highly decorated, well-respected pastry chef and you have to eat trash every day for money?”

– Nicole Byer teases her co-host Jacques Torres about tasting the amateur contestants’ creations as they begin Season 4.

The Real Housewives of New York City - Season 12
Heidi Gutman/Bravo

Real Housewives of New York (Bravo)

“Dorinda looks like the snake from Beetlejuice, except even scarier and meaner.”

– New cast member Leah McSweeney is put off by her fellow housewives’ fighting.

The Cast of 'Schitt's Creek'
Pop TV

Schitt's Creek

“You take that ember of independence and you keep it burning because you, my darling, are destined to be on fire.”

– Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara) bids an inspiring farewell to Alexis (Annie Murphy).

1 of

This week, television grappled with tragedy, onscreen and off: Celebrities and musicians united to provide relief and aid for Coronavirus, while fictional deaths rocked Outlander and The Good Doctor.

There were also moments of uplift and levity, like a new arrival on Modern Family and a brand new season of Nailed It! Plus, drama and intrigue reign as usual on EmpireGood Girls, and a new season of Real Housewives of New York.

Click through the gallery to see the best lines TV had to offer this week!