Best Lines of the Week (September 23-29): ‘That’s Life, One Minute You’re a Fan, the Next You’re Not’

Ana Fabrega in Los Espookys
HBO

It’s been a crazy week for TV, which means plenty of memorable moments and quotes that stayed with us.

With highly anticipated shows and movies airing (House of the Dragon, Blonde) and a new season of award show’s favorite comedy (Abbott Elementary) dropping, there’s been a lot to catch up on. This week we got the inside scoop on the highs and lows (mostly lows) of Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson’s whirlwind romance on The Kardashians along with many laughs from Nick Kroll’s comedy special Little Big Boy.

Which lines grabbed our attention? Keep reading to find out!

Devan Long, John Hartman
CBS

Ghosts (CBS)

“It’s OK, Thorfinn an acquired taste, like sour ram’s testicle.”

—Intense Viking Thorfinn (Devan Long) has a self-aware moment when accepting Nigel’s (John Hartman) apology.

Angela Bassett
Fox

9-1-1 (Fox)

“I promised myself that when I was old enough I was going to become a police woman, and find that girl. Tanya Kingston.”

—Athena (Angela Bassett) tells the story of the night she decided she wanted to join the police force.

 

Fabien Frankel
HBO

House of the Dragon (HBO)

“Your interest in the princeling’s training is quite unusual commander. Most men would only have that kind of devotion toward a cousin, or a brother, or a son.”

—Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel) trying to provoke Harwin Strong (Ryan Corr) by insinuating that Rhaenyra’s (Emma D’Arcy) sons are his.

Fox

The Simpsons (Fox)

“Let me tell you something, son. Every human being is born an internet rando. And then they stay internet randos until they connect over a cause. And then and only then do they achieve their full potential and become… not random.”

—Homer (Dan Castellaneta) defends his dinner guests, whom he met through an online community group.

Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti
ABC

Abbott Elementary (ABC)

“You know, in the end times, it’s just gonna be cockroaches roaming the empty streets and Janine holding up a sign that says ‘Turn that frown upside down.’”

—Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) comments on Janine’s (Quinta Brunson) earnest optimism after she stays up all night making a presentation.

Gladys Baker, Lily Fisher
Netlfix

Blonde (Netlfix)

“Actually, officer, I’d like to see hell close-up.”

—Gladys (Julianne Nicholson) to a police officer about why she is driving herself and her daughter, seven-year-old Norma Jeane (Lily Fisher), into the California forest fires in the middle of the night

 

Ana Fabrega
HBO

Los Espookys (HBO)

“Well, that’s life, one minute you’re a fan, the next you’re not.”

— Tati (Ana Fabrega) loses her job where she works as a fan to help the Priest keep cool.

 

H. John Benjamin, Kristen Schaal
Fox

Bob's Burgers (Fox)

Linda: “Ooh, we might even get one of those Michelin tires.”

Bob: “You mean stars?”

Linda: “Yeah, those, too.”

—Linda (John Roberts) fantasizes about expanding the restaurant to Bob (H. Jon Benjamin) and Teddy (Larry Murphy).

Kris Jenner, Corey Gamble
Hulu

The Kardashians (Hulu)

Corey: “Of course she wants champagne and wine right now.”

Kris: “What?”

Corey: “I was just saying you’re beautiful.”

— When they find out that her daughter, Kylie Jenner, went into labor, Kris Jenner asks in a frenzy if they need to bring wine and champagne to the hospital. Her boyfriend Corey Gamble pokes fun.

Netflix

Nick Kroll: Little Big Boy (Netflix)

“If I were, I’d be the guy at the back of the pack, who’s like, ‘Oh no, I’m gonna miss the light! Aww, I’m gonna get split up from the fellas. I was really looking forward to rumbling through a neighborhood and ruining people’s day.’”

—Nick Kroll explains why he’ll never be part of a motorcycle gang.