Best Lines of the Week (April 23-29): ‘I Use Newspapers to Clean My Windows’


“April showers bring May flowers” — and apparently some great lines as well! From deep realizations on Nancy Drew to witty comebacks on Kenan, this week was filled to the brim with great moments.

Kate Winslet continues to bring great lines in HBO’s new crime drama Mare of Easttown, Darrell Sheets and the gang go treasure hunting on Storage Wars, and Brenda (Melissa Peterman) copes with her divorce on Young Sheldon, while Melissa Gorga questions her husband’s sanity on Real Housewives of New Jersey when he kisses his friends butt…and not in a metaphorical way.

Click through the gallery to see the most memorable moments from this week.


The Goldbergs (ABC)

“Dude, this is our senior prank. It’s our last chance. Once we’re adults, pranks are called crimes.”

— Dave (Kenny Ridwan) explains to Adam (Sean Giambrone) that they have to go big on their senior prank and vandalize their school statue.

Melissa Gorga and her husband Joe Gorga

Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)

“Joe is like the everlasting frat boy. Like, how much longer are you going to literally kiss your friends’ asses?”

— Melissa Gorga questions when her husband, Joe Gorga, will grow up, having to kiss his friend’s butt after losing a bet while golfing.

The CW

Nancy Drew (The CW)

“You know, I have this pattern of relying on other people to make myself feel loved. And I know it’s unhealthy, but I’m just terrified of being alone.”

— Bess (Maddison Jaizani) explains to Nick (Tunji Kasim) why she is having issues with George (Leah Lewis).


Young Sheldon (CBS)

Mary: “Oh, Brenda, love the haircut!”

Brenda: “Thank you, I was always afraid to go short but I figured I already lost a husband, what’s a few inches off the top?”

— Recently divorced Brenda (Melissa Peterman) shares the inspiration behind her new ‘do with Mary Cooper (Zoe Perry).


Storage Wars (A&E)

Darrell: “We’re discussing the price of antiques. How you doing on your antiques?”

Jarrod: “You guys are the only antiques I know.”

— Jarrod Schulz has a witty response to Darrell Sheets’ question before they head into the storage center to bid on units.


Mare of Easttown (HBO)

Helen: “Yeah, that is what you do. Which is why I moved in here to help out.”

Mare: “You’re not helping out, mom. Sitting around drinking Manhattans with Dan isn’t helping.”

— Mare’s (Kate Winslet) mother, Helen (Jean Smart), tries her best to keep a watchful eye on her… which is not always too watchful.


The Circle (Netflix)

“Be careful who you trust, because there are snakes in this game, and some of them have more than one head.”

Circle contestant Khat delivers some final words of wisdom upon being blocked from The Circle, warning players of the deceit behind certain profiles.



The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Disney+)

“Look, you people have just as much power as an insane god or a misguided teenager. The question you have to ask yourself is, how are you going to use it?”

— Sam (Anthony Mackie) delivers a rousing speech under his new, and well-earned, moniker of Captain America.



Kenan (NBC)

Mika: “Well, actually, I left modeling to pursue journalism, which is what I’m doing now.”

Candi: “Oh, so precious. I use newspapers to clean my windows. Good luck!”

—Mika (Kimrie Lewis-Davis) gets caught up in an awkward encounter with a past frenemy, Candi (Alesha Renee).


Cruel Summer (Freeform)

“Haven’t you heard? I’m really good at keeping secrets.”

— Jamie (Froy Gutierrez) confronts Jeanette (Chiara Aurelia) about their short-lived relationship, which just adds more fuel to the show’s eerie mystery.