Best Lines on TV This Week: ‘He Looks Like a Panda and a Disney Princess Had a Baby’

Superstore

“I mean, I can’t compete with these geisha features. He looks like a panda and a Disney princess had a baby.”
— Glenn (Mark McKinney) gets down about Jonah’s (Ben Feldman) cute looks

“Why would anybody be attracted to Jonah? He looks like a villain on the CW.”
— Mateo (Nico Santos) has a different take on Jonah’s attractiveness

“If you like orphans and fire-roasted peppers, you truly couldn’t make a better purchase.”
— Amy (America Ferrera) tries to get Cloud 9 customers to try salsa samples rather unsuccessfully

Doctor Who

“The Doctor: It’s a killer puzzle box designed to scare me to death, and I’m trapped inside it. Must be Christmas!”
—  The Doctor (Peter Capaldi) is excited at the prospect of a death trap more than most

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Greg: “Does this present say, ‘our mom sucks, but I’m gonna try very hard not to hold it against you’?”
Heather: “No. It says you’re old and still think kids play outside.”
— Heather (Vella Lovell) tells Greg (Santino Fontana) that he’s out of touch on what kids want

Supergirl

“Robot? Wait, what kind of robot are we talking, like a C3PO? Terminator? Roomba? DEO testing out a new toy?”
— Winn (Jeremy Jordan) gets excited upon learning Kara (Melissa Benoist) is fighting a robot

The Flash

“Since when did our lives become an Indiana Jones movie?”
—  Cisco (Carlos Valdes) wonders how Team Arrow and Team Flash’s lives just got complicated

“It’s just…the rules keep changing. One day I have to run through time, the next I’m fighting a telepathic gorilla, and now we’re what? We’re chasing down an immortal madman on a rampage against down a reincarnated warrior priestess? I just never thought I’d have superpowers and feel more powerless than I ever have in my entire life.”
— Barry (Grant Gustin) sums up his crazy life in just a few sentences

Empire

Lucious: “Are you hitting that?”
Jamal: “Look, I’m still gay, alright? So don’t get weird.”
Lucious: “She fixed you. Yeah.”
— Jamal (Jussie Smollett) clarifies things after his encounter with Skye Summers (Alicia Keys)

Quantico

“You know, before you recruited me, I took pleasure in destroying your cases in court. Then you threw me out and pissed me off. Imagine what I’ll be like now.”
— Elias (Rick Cosnett) asserts his power as a pissed-off former FBI recruit who’s now Alex’s (Priyanka Chopra) legal counsel

Black-ish

But it’s only slightly explosive soap, so…. #blackish pic.twitter.com/Xb6B3AX39q

— black-ish (@black_ishABC) December 3, 2015

The Mindy Project

Sneaky af. #MindyOnHulu pic.twitter.com/QGmeecuUPc — The Mindy Project (@TheMindyProject) December 3, 2015

The Grinder

Cliff: What matters is what the fans are saying on Twitter… Dean: The true barometer of success. 😂 #TheGrinder pic.twitter.com/CMhKX4MyiG

— The Grinder (@TheGrinderFOX) December 3, 2015

From TV Guide Magazine

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