Best Lines on TV This Week: First-Rate Films and Famous Faces

Key and Peele

Key & Peele

Key: “I do enjoy our show. You think it’s the best show ever made?”
Peele: “Pure classic. It’s us, then like Dallas, then The Twilight Zone. There’s a list out there.”
— Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele wondering what their show’s legacy will be


Buddy: “The next time you have an opportunity, you have to step up.”
Russell: “Like Channing Tatum in the Step Up trilogy—even though he wasn’t in the third one.”
— Russell (Mike Kosinski) getting a little distracted by Buddy’s (Michael Rosenbaum) choice of words

Late Night With Stephen Colbert

Bush: “So I’m going to say something that’s heretic, I guess. I don’t think Barack Obama has bad motives. I just think he’s wrong on a lot of the issues.”
Colbert: “Oh, you were so close to getting them to clap. You were thisclose! You’ve gotta pause till they clap and, then, hit them with what they don’t want to hear!”
—  Colbert pointing out that Jeb Bush almost did something impossible: getting the mostly Democratic audience to clap

The Carmichael Show

“I love seeing Matt Damon get out of sticky situations. That’s my favorite genre of movie.”
— Joe (David Alan Grier) describing his taste in movies

Playing House

“She looks just like Andie MacDowell. But warmer. More spontaneous.”
— Bruce (Brad Morris) describing one of Maggie’s (Lennon Parham) fellow officers to Emma (Jessica St. Clair)

You’re the Worst

“There comes a day when every relationship turns gross, old and boring. Like Ben Affleck and Jennifer ‘Gardener.'”
— Lindsay (Kether Donohue) explaining a relationship life cycle to Gretchen (Aya Cash) while also mispronouncing Jennifer Garner’s name

Gravity Falls

“Are you going to tell us we’re finally of age to go to wizard school? Is there an owl in this bag?!”
— Mabel Pines (Kristen Schaal) trying to guess what her Grunkle Ford is trying to tell them

Faking It

“This is all wrong. None of these revenge scenarios are practical. Arsenic poisoning could take weeks.”
— Shane (Michael J. Willet) critiquing Lauren’s (Bailey De Young) revenge board