‘Alaskan Bush People’: ‘Bush Code’ (RECAP)
In the Alaskan Bush People episode “Bush Code” (Aug. 9), the Brown children face a critical decision as they part ways with the family’s Alaskan homestead, Ami braces for her upcoming cancer treatments in California and the wolfpack finds new ways to keep spirits high.
The Bushido code, or “way of the warrior,” refers to a complex set of Japanese samurai values stressing honor and loyalty to country and family above all else.
In contrast, the Alaskan Bush People episode “Bush Code” is a pointless and tedious hour of television.
Let’s get this over with.
We find the Brownton Abbey mop-up crew of Bear, Rain and Bird enjoying one last blast of the cannon before packing it up. I guess I will never get to see cannon vs. trebuchet in a shootin’ match.
The unfortunate and horrifying task of cleaning up Noah’s crap falls on Bear, who has to dispose of various old electronics and animal parts preserved in jars. Bear says that Noah left an “exaggerative EXXXXTREME amount of stuff behind.” Bear has never been one to exaggerate anything, ever.
“Bear, Bird and Rain are left to sort through a lifetime of belongings before leaving the Bush for good,” says Our Dear Narrator, Asa. A lifetime of belongings? Didn’t they LOSE EVERYTHING about three times in the past five years? Blah.
Bear releases the family’s mechanical bull back into the wild. I wonder if they ever tried to mate it with Sabrina.
In California, Billy and Ami are at UCLA’s Manoukian Medical Building awaiting Ami’s chemo and radiation treatment options. Dr. Ann Raldow, a radiation oncologist who is just now discovering what an awful show this is, tries to ease Ami and Billy’s anxieties. Dr. Raldow explains that some patients “grow to like” their treatments because it becomes part of their routine. I’ve been covering this show routinely for over four years. It never gets easier. Ami undergoes a CT scan to locate the cancer and determine where to place the tattoo markings that will help align and focus her radiation treatments.
Looks like we’re in for yet another Bear-intensive episode. Bear wants to drag the wind turbine to the Integrity, because he’s an idiot. Bear actually falls on his face, and I enjoyed that. It seems that Billy’s old buddy Trapper is coming in four days to take the Integrity and all the junk on it to Juneau, where the junk will then be shipped to whatever godforsaken land the Browns turn into their next home.
While Bear does the heavy lifting, Birdy and Rainy are busy fulfilling Ami’s request for devil’s club, which sounds like it could be the name of a biker bar, but it’s not. It’s just a plant. Oplopanax horridus is said to have medicinal properties, and it’s also used “to ward off evil,” so let’s see if it keeps Billy away.
Being in Brownton Abbey while her mom is sick in California gives Birdy feelings of sadness, which she fights by having feelings of anger. I guess you don’t develop emotional maturity or fashion sense by talking to animals.
Speaking of immaturity, Matt has his sit-down with Billy to discuss that whole explosion thing. Matt’s head is still sore, but it’s his pride that hurts most. Billy says the staples in Matt’s head are “cool.” Matt says he “Frankened” himself.
“You were close, you know that?” Billy tells Matt. “Could’ve killed you. You could’ve had brain damage, could’ve had an excuse for being like you are.” ZING! Then Billy offers some great fatherly advice: “Like I say, ‘Duh.’ Like, be a man.” Got any other wisdom, Billy?
Trapper arrives on the shore of Brownton Abbey, explaining that he’s got a friend who knows a family that wants a boat, and they’d be willing to negotiate on buying the Integrity. A really important decision now rests on the family’s three least qualified members. Birdy’s really attached to the Integrity because it’s like a part of the family, just like every squirrel, mouse, deer, cow, stray cat, sea cucumber or Skaflestad she runs into. In reality, the Browns didn’t even own the boat, and it was put up for sale in Hoonah and later sold.
Bear’s emptying out all his “special treasures” from his treehouse, including a propane tank, his Batman leather jacket and an ugly, gross pillow. Bear says that the forest will “reclaim” his treehouse. I said the same thing about that old dehumidifier I threw out on the side of the road.
In L.A., Matt is bored out of his busted-up skull, and then he gets philosophical about why he survived blowing himself up. “The Good Lord really knows what He’s doing,” Matt says.
Matt’s trying to keep busy doing things that he can be proud of later, such as making a half-assed repair on a wood fence.
Or making a homemade tattoo gun. In an effort to show solidarity with his mom, Matt gets ink done on himself using a method perfected by many a prison inmate. He’s got a small electric motor, a cellphone battery, a little plastic disc, a needle and some other random parts to make his own tattoo gun. The hardest part is transforming the motor’s spinning action into “poking action.” Matt’s also got a bunch of soot from the stove that he’s going to mix with baby oil to make his own ink. He tattoos a little dot somewhere on his torso. He doesn’t know if it will cheer his mom up, but it might give her a laugh. Or it might make her even more depressed that her firstborn son is a loser.
There’s a scene in which Bear runs around on the beach scaring bears away, but it’s much too dull to recap. Instead, I’ll regale you with the colorful account of the family’s “cherished antique cannon,” and how three Browns were able to hoist it into the Integrity all by themselves. According to the Bureau of Bush Weights and Measures, the cannon weighs in at 400 pounds, significantly lighter than those 600-pound oil drums that were completely empty. For old time’s sake, we get some Magically Appearing Bad Weather and Unnecessary Drama. Bear is very happy that wherever their new home will be, it will have the wind turbine and the cannon, two symbols of Brownton Abbey’s pretense. Also making the journey is Rope, with whom Bear has had an on-again, off-again love affair.
The homemade tattoo gun didn’t land Matt back in the hospital. Let’s see if he has better luck playing with knives. Matt and Bam play a game of Bush tic-tac-toe by stabbing knives (yes, the screwdriver counts) into a wood table. The rules and strategy are unclear, but Bam is the winner. Matt tells Bam that he’s really bored, and that he just walks around trying to kill time. Bam suggests that they take Ami somewhere among nature to remind her that her family will go on and have a future — except Matt, who will be lucky to get to age 40.
The prospective buyers of the Integrity arrive in Brownton Abbey. It’s a family of five with father Chris, mother Lisa, and young sons Logan, Jacob and Gage. They’re looking to escape mainstream society, lured by the Alaskan Bush’s promise of ultimate freedom and reality TV stardom. After some discussion, Bear informs Chris that they no longer want to sell the Integrity … they want to GIVE IT AWAY! And YOU get an Integrity and YOU get an Integrity and YOU get an Integrity! Chris and Lisa are very happy with this deal, even though it means they will have to haul the Browns’ precious junk to Juneau. “When you have something that can be given away, you shouldn’t sell it,” Bear says, citing the Bush Code. And if you have something that can’t be given away, the Browns will just swipe it from you.
Billy, unaware that his numbskull son just gave his boat away for free, is pestering Ami with his new homestead nonsense. Billy tells Ami that “it’s the beginning of one of the best adventures we’ve ever been on.” Easy for him to say. He’s not the one getting zapped and pumped up with drugs. “I looked at the map about four times,” Billy tells her. Wow, FOUR whole times? Birdy can’t get here fast enough with that devil’s club.
In the interstitial, we find Bear playing around with those bells that Noah had Kenny cut and weld out of scrapped propane tanks. We never did get to hear any music played on the bells, and I wish it could’ve remained that way. Bear whacks away at them with a branch, EXXXXTREME style! I hope the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra is watching!
Conversation42 Comments
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I was amused at Bear Browns run in with the brown bear . I wondered who was behind him with a 300 Winchester magnum rifle as he ran towards the bear. Being highly unpredictable that bear could have turned him into a sloppy joe in 15 seconds. Bear is truly a nit-wit. So how does all there memorable junk follow them to there new dwellings wherever that will be or is it headed to junkyard? Did I miss the part on what will happen to the new skiff they obtained does it go with the boat or back to the owner? I just don't see how this show can go on much longer since the Alaskan Bush is out of the plot and Ami's health should be put above continuing. I know Billy would want to go on matter how sick his wife is but out of compassion for Ami Brown Discovery should stop this nonsense.
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They're supposedly going to film another season soon, but I don't know why/how, considering Gabe, Noah and Bam want nothing to do with it. Good question on the new skiff. (In reality, it was probably just leased and returned.) Maybe we'll see what they do with it in tonight's episode.
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The skiff that just magically appeared at the end to whisk them away forever?
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So I went into my local Porsche dealership the other day and told them, pointing to a new 911, that when you have something that can be given away you shouldn't sell it. I'm still driving my 9 year old SUV. I fell asleep halfway through this show again but it looks like I didn't miss much. I'm thinking it may have been easier if Hoonah had just taken over Browntown and turned it into the Hoonah dump satellite location. Jeez surprised the EPA didn't have to come out there and do testing to make it was safe. Bear falling flat on his face was EXXXXTREMELY satisfying! Anyway great recap considering the content you had to work with. You truly made something out of nothing!
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If they won't give you a free Porsche, would they accept a barter of salmon, firewood or labor?
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Down here mud bugs aka crawfish are our salmon equivalent. I tried those and putting my children in servitude to them for the rest of their lives but no go. They were pretty firm about only batering for cash.
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Same points as I made on Reality Observers recap, but they are still quite valid, I think.
Just saw the episode. We all know, Discovery never really tried to make this anything but a shitshow, but damn, it’s like some producer had “bring your retarded kid to work”-day, and just put the kid in charge!
I don’t know where to start really, but heres a couple of points that really grinds my gears ;
– the integrity is all Billy ever wanted. Just that? Not a Browntown or anything? Okaaay…
– the three amigos who share a brain have to pack a lifetime of possessions. Wait, I thought they lost all those when the old boat sank..
– billy talking to matt about “accident”:”you know what I say: DUH!” What the hell?? And matt apparently almost died. But let’s not make a big fuss about it.
– bear collecting noahs metal crap. “Gotta get rid of all the trash that doesn’t belong in the forest “. Ouch. Amazing backhanded diss to Noah.
– the gun will only scare a bear away for so long. Yet they ALWAYS pack heat when bears “attack”.
– kids are in California for “support”, yet we never see them with Ami. They are just there whining about being there with nothing to do, and in the same sentence waxing on about they are there to support her. So that’s nothing.
-how many times do we hear them say variations of “sell the boat??” And just to give it away for free. So they “hauled” so many important cargos, and “worked” so many crucial jobs, yet they can readily just give away their boat. Granted the integrity probably isn’t worth shit anyway, but still.
– they sure are quickly convinced, that that new family is a real bush family. Didn’t take them two minutes, before bear was quite sure. Then again, how would he know a bush family?
– why don’t they just give the new bush family their Browntown dump?
And I would seriously pay to see Tackleberry the Bear viciously maul Bear.
The look on his face, when he realised that no amount of howling like a moron or climbing trees would save him, would be priceless. 😂😂
Great recap as ever. At least this one didnt have as many flashbacks. Thank God. ☺️
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The Browntown land is actually owned by a church and was leased by the Discovery Channel. Shocking, I know, since they preached endlessly about making it their forever home with the grandkids.
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I still haven't heard an explanation of why they would scrap the Great Dream of developing Browntown as a community for future generations of Browns (perish the thought!).
Ami could pull through or not. Either way they could have left five of the "kids" to continue developing Brownton Abbey, or line up some work to help with medical expenses. If Ami recovers they would all go back to continue the Dream.
I guess it makes as much sense as having a nice cabin built for the Browns by kindly townsfolk, only to immediately abandon it and drive away upon hearing two (possible) gunshots in the night.
Oops! Silly me! The entire show is fake, so none of this matters! Chalk it up to lousy writing and non-existent continuity.
If Ami is really sick, I hope she recovers, as many do.
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That show was so bad I fell asleep. Boring......with the money they are making Billy can not barter or pay a dentist to fix his daughters missing teeth in front no less. Can not believe she wore a black lace dress and no glasses and then opens her mouth with no front teeth.
I loved the show b just interviewing Matt And Bear, by the way bear and all need haircuts and shaves. Your in real world.Nothing we don't know already has been said about poor Am I. Prayers for her, she will be surprised at closing Integrity and al stuff in house but they ever turbine and cannon, goolee.
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Ryan, your recaps are always better than this show. Sometimes, I don't even watch the episode. I just read your recap.
This show doesn't even try anymore. At the same time we are supposed to believe 1. They have lived isolated for 30 years. 2. Matt is just learning how to do a makeshift tattoo. So how did all of them get so many tattoos?
If they are so bored. Why not do something useful like getting a job. That idea is probably expecting to much from anyone raised by Billy the scammer. After all, he is the guy who said it took him 30 years to give Ami her dreamhouse(wait a minute..I thought he built alot of houses) but in those 30 years, he never thought to get a job to buy or build a house. These people live their lives like a 4th grader on summer vacation. Nothing useful or productive, just bumming around.
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You forget ...he's been a come racial fisherman most of those 30 yrs
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Nothing says home like a rusty turbine motor and a blue cannon.
During the Billy/Matt conversation they, once again, skirted around the cause of the explosion, so what really happened remains a mystery. However, it was clear that Matt was lying on the porch to the main house in Brown Town.
Just who was that family that supposedly got the Integrity? Anyone know?
Back to Matt and his boredom: I just wanted to scream at the TV: GET A JOB!!! Snapping a thin board in two and shoving half of it into the fence does not a repair make.
I was interested to see Rain at the hospital with Ami and simultaneously in Browntown---quite a feat.
Ryan, you had me LOL with your spot on description of Bird's attachment to anything and everything, "...just like every squirrel, mouse, deer, cow, stray cat, sea cucumber or Skaflestad she runs into."
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That was some jarring editing with Rainy being two places at once. There was no need to even have her in the hospital scene.
Ah, but acting like an ass on TV IS Matt's job! 😜
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Apparently, Matt's "job" does not take up enough time to keep him from being bored....because even when he is "working" he says he is bored. 🙂
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LMAO...Good recap. I'm still trying to figure out how they can afford to rent a house in LA since bartering with salmon and used crap doesn't go very far in the renters' market there...oh, that's right....The Discovery channel is paying for all of it.
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Seriously flabbergasted by the new lows in quality from Porkslop and everyone involved. They are gonna have to outsource this crap to a callcenter in India to account for all this phoning it in. 😂
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It's astounding that they're going to film a new season. This show has been living on borrowed time for three years.
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Ryan, Thank God for your recaps. Without them, I would be calling Discumery and cancelling this channel. There is so much wrong with this show, from editing and so on, that I can't bring myself to go there. I will stick with your recaps and must ask if you review any other shows? For me
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I think that TV producers of this program are way to greedy to come up with B.S. programming like this just to get viewers! The first episode seemed interesting, but from that point on, you could easily see that this was a bunch of B.S.,. Personally speaking, I think they are all a bunch of idiots; but TV loves this because they know that stupid drama is what gathers viewers! But life is all about money and since I'm not the one making the 60,000 dollars a season, what is my opinion...right?!!!!!
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Not a season each show, and the other 7 make it also.
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I think the so-called "producers" should be taken deeper into the woods on Chichagof Island, along with the cast and crew, each with a spawned out salmon tied to them, so they couldn't remove it, and left there...By doing this, we will NEVER have to worry about them making up any more fake bullshit about Alaska, featuring a family of grifters, thieves, and piss-poor con men, where they all will become bear shit, and never heard from again.....That's what this "Territorial Alaskan" wants.....AND I ain't alone...
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I read (true or not?) that some cancers and other diseases can be caused by poor dental hygiene. If this is the case, and Ami is any example, the Browns need to make a collective trip to the dentist, PRONTO! She refused timely dental care when her teeth were rotting out of her head.
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Naw, nothing like that. Apparently, Ami smoked.
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I've read (true or not?) that bad dental hygiene can lead to some cancers and other diseases. If this is the case, the Browns need to take a collective trip to the dentist, PRONTO! Ami clearly did not care about dental hygiene, even when her teeth were rotting out of her head she wouldn't get timely dental care.
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So my comment is pending. Again. No racial slurs or f-bombs or anything. Annoying
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Ryan, have no idea where all the = signs came from. You can delete post if you want as post like show was basically meaningless.
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Ha! I like the = signs! They shall remain.
The Browns are on the move again from L.A. to Colorado. I don't know what this means for Ami's treatments. Sounds like they're actually going to film another season, even though half the family doesn't want to be in it.
I do not recap any other shows at this time, but I am always on the lookout for a new show that might be as terrible as ABP. I'm open to suggestions.
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Best of luck finding anything as terrible as "Alaskan Bush Whackers!"
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Dumbest show
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What happen to the cow
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Bear Brunch!
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.I don't know who wrote this story, but u were out of line u seem to be making light of Ami's cancer. I have lung and breast cancer so if u are not informed on what they do when they do radiation it is exactly like they said on the show they put marks on u so they know exactly where the radiation will go. As for chemo I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I think.the Browns were really caught of guard when this happened to Ami I agree the kids act a little strange but I love the show and have watched it from day one. And by the way I have 4 girls my oldest is 53 and my youngest is 38 and I still call them my kids.
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Where, specifically, have I ever made light of Ami's cancer?
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Easy there fanny, simmer down neh!
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If u don't like the show then don't watch it. Fanless
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I have sat through chemo with a dear friend that has breast cancer and long cancer. I fell apart when I got home. She lost all her teeth, her hair, her immune system is gone, she had part of her lung removed and suffered a heart attack. I have a real problem with the Browns and this fake crap!!!! Do your research. These people are scam artist. There is a special place for them. It is not Brown town or any other adventure. They disgust me and so does the Discovery Channel that allows this to continue!!! Do a show on my friends journey to survive cancer. She has 3 adult children and 5 grands!!! She wants to live!!! You
Stupid freaks!!!!
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Exactly!
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Well said . Your right Shell about Lee.
I don't believe you Lee . You dont seem the type to sit with a friend who has cancer because of your attitude towards Ami . To knock the discover channel is very unfair. They have many good and interesting shows. If you find the discovery channel so disqusting why are you watching it?. PEOPLE LIKE YOU DISGUST ME.
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I watch because I enjoy watching the show - it's entertaining, even though much of it is obviously fake. If you watch regularly you'll spot many contradictions.
My wife LOVES the Browns, so we watch together and I keep my mouth shut! But even she has started to see some of the ridiculousness. She believes that Bear is "learning disabled." I believe that he is either a total idiot, or is just playing the fool for the camera.
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Frances, did you have a pack of Marlboros on your lap when you were wheeled in to the hospital?
Did it take 5 days to get the biopsy results? Did it take weeks and weeks to come up with a treatment plan?
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I worked in several hospitals, and oncologists waste no time in starting treatment, adjusting modalities and doseage as they progress... a few days might mean the difference between life and death.
And Ami's lying in bed for 8 weeks before treatment??? Ha! Not likely! Well, as long as it meets Discovery's scheduling needs!
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