‘All’s Fair’: Can Allura Survive a Scorpion Attack & a Deadly Thanksgiving?

After a first season filled with messy divorces, bitter betrayals, and plenty of backstabbing, the ladies of All’s Fair are back for more legal battles, personal drama, and a full brief of bad behavior. With Dina’s (Glenn Close) legal troubles behind her, Carr (Sarah Paulson) still stirring up trouble, and the firm moving forward without her, the women have plenty of unfinished business. But this season, things are about to get a whole lot more dangerous as old enemies resurface, new romances heat up, and someone appears to have murder on their mind. Warning: Spoilers ahead for All’s Fair Episodes 1 – 3

The first episode, “The Scorpion Ball,” kicks off with a quick reminder of just how wealthy Allura Grant (Kim Kardashian) is as she gets ready for bed in her massive mansion. But things take a creepy turn when she catches a glimpse of a mysterious face. Later, with the gals at Grant, Ronson & Greene, Dina urges her to beef up her security.

We quickly learn that Dina is out of prison thanks to a bulletproof alibi. In a conversation with Carrington “Carr” Lane, we learn that while in prison, she opted to choose for peace and end their war. She forgives Carr, which pisses Carr off. She admits to planting the dementia drugs, and Dina still forgives her. After insulting her ability to be an actual mother, Dina slaps her.

The firm decides to move on from Carr. Along with newly-minted attorney Milan (Teyana Taylor), they turn their attention to the Scorpion Ball, originally thrown by Grace Kelly, now in the hands of Allura and featuring Bruno Mars and Adele.

To perk up Dina, Allura gets her a reading with medium Loni Everlane (Real Housewives of New York City alum Dorinda Medley), who says she will fall in love and have a new act in life, and mistakes from her past will come back to haunt her.

Disney/Gilles Mingasson

Client of the week is a former model, Aphrodite Lovesong (Robin Givens), who was dumped by her media mogul husband, Ray Royale (Marcuis Harris), and wants to fight an ironclad prenuptial agreement that she never signed. Witness signatures belong to two notaries, and the same two notaries were used in several publication acquisitions, and now they are both dead. What are they missing? Did her signature disappear?

Emerald discovers she used thymolphthalein, a disappearing ink. It’s perjury. They can lose their licences.

The judge finds the agreement null and void, which pisses off Ray. As he leaves, Aphrodite taunts him about all the money she is going to take and how she will start her own magazine, Limp D**k Quarterly. Privately, she admits she used the ink on Liberty and Emerald.

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Emerald Green (Niecy Nash) wants to bring her triple Scorpio family and their partners to the Scorpion Ball, offering to pay for their gowns and giving them a tour of her wig closet. In the tour, she gives a lesson about the importance of taking up space. “We are going for Black excellence.”

Liberty Ronson has a date to get over her broken engagement, but she is taking it slow. She meets Jamie Stevenson (Angela Zhou), a lovely woman.

With a blood-red Monte Carlo theme and a strict no-phones policy, the women are ready to party. Dina gets hit on by a waiter, Carr and Allura spar in front of a fountain, and Liberty comes out as a lesbian, much to Carr’s dismay. Carr is still with Chase Munroe (Matthew Noszka), but that doesn’t stop him from hitting on Milan the minute he sees her.

Disney/Ser Baffo

Things take a turn for the worse when Carr insults Emerald’s sons, sparking a fistfight between Carr, Milan, and Emerald that ends with the women flopping into the fountain to the tune of “Hot in Herre,” ruining Allura’s glamorous night. The whole spectacle brings back some traumatic memories from Adele’s all-girls school days, prompting her to make a quick exit.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, a furious Allura faints, collapsing onto the black marble floor. She was bitten by the scorpions that scatter out of her purse.

Episode 2, “Going Down,” kicks off with the case of the week as the Kellers settle their divorce, splitting a $35 million ranch and four Picassos equally. But with Carr on the other side of the table, Liberty’s client (Denise Richards) isn’t getting off that easily. Carr demands full custody of Herbert the Goldendoodle for her client (Grant Show), alleging that his wife is having sexual relations with the dog. Carr even brings up Liberty’s sexual orientation during the argument. The meeting ends with joint custody.

It’s a new low, even for Carr. Carr wants the Picassos, and Liberty wants proof.

Back at the office, Allura is still detoxing from the scorpion venom, and the suspects have been narrowed down to the 300 guests at the ball. Meanwhile, Dina wants to scatter Doug’s ashes at Martha’s Vineyard and invite Carr as a peace offering after she helped during Doug’s demise. The others aren’t thrilled, but Dina wants to end the Fatwa.

Disney/Ser Baffo

Allura also hires some new security in the form of Raul Ortiz (Cauã Reymond), who plans to live with her and find out who wants her dead. An awkward hug with Dina prompts Raul to strip down and show off his abs, pretty much sealing the deal.

On the private jet, Carr is forced to apologize to “whom it may concern” for her actions at the Scorpion Ball. So, an apology without an apology. She’s also a terrible flyer, claiming she almost died on 9/11, despite having missed her flight. “And to this day, I feel like I am living on borrowed time.” Oh, and Amelia Earhart is apparently her great-grandmother.

Disney/Ser Baffo

Liberty eventually drugs Carr to calm her down, and the ladies bond over drinks and Uno. That is, until the plane starts belching black smoke, loses both engines, and begins falling from the sky.

With death seemingly imminent, the women confess their regrets. Allura hates Emerald’s hats, Emerald never held space for her dreams, and Liberty regrets waiting so long to be herself. Carr admits she doesn’t like people because her parents didn’t like her and that she wants to be free like Liberty. She finally apologizes for how she’s treated everyone and regrets never trying scissoring. Dina, meanwhile, is at peace with dying and reveals she’s dating the 20-something waiter from the Scorpion Ball.

Just when all hope seems lost, Raul restores power, saving everyone.

Back at the office, Liberty and Carr return to the Goldendoodle case, only to learn Herbert died in traffic. Now their clients are fighting over his ashes. After their near-death experience, the lawyers tell them to split the ashes and the Picassos before firing them both. Life’s too short for bickering.

Later, Liberty reveals Jamie dumped her for being “too intense,” and Carr offers some encouragement. Before you know it, the two have a date to see Brandi Carlile. Interesting.

Meanwhile, Dina enjoys a romantic dinner with Brody (Noah Fearnley), the young waiter, and plans to pursue things with “curiosity and an open heart.”

Allura goes over her list of possible enemies with Raul, including Marcus Weller (Maury Sterling), who lost his fortune and children thanks to her and once tried to attack her during mediation. And with the revelation that the plane was sabotaged, Allura decides on 24-hour security.

Of course, having Raul stationed outside her bedroom door isn’t exactly helping the growing chemistry between them.

In “Thanksgiving Part One,” we’re taken back one year, when food writer Gloria Bloom (Margo Martindale) visits Liberty and Emerald to discuss her “recipe for disaster” marriage to Winston (Kurt Fuller). Once a housewife, Gloria became a new woman after opening her own organic food shop, much to her husband’s dismay. On Thanksgiving, Winston demanded a “traditional” meal from a can, so she made two dinners: one gourmet and one canned. But when her husband and sons mocked her efforts, she threw cranberries in Winston’s face and left the bastard.

Disney/Ser Baffo

Now, Winston wants half of everything Gloria built, including her art collection and New York apartment. He also wants her tuna noodle casserole recipe. “I’d rather die.” She’s told him the recipe 100 times, but he never listened. If they don’t settle today, the case will drag into Thanksgiving.

Meanwhile, Emerald learns her sons won’t be joining her for the holiday, and she couldn’t be more thrilled. Milan and Chase are also fighting over Thanksgiving custody of their daughter, Capricorn. Dina settles the matter with a coin toss, giving Chase Christmas instead. But once he’s gone, Milan admits he still haunts her.

On Thanksgiving, Gloria caters dinner for the women, while Carr contributes her Pretzel Jell-O Loaf Surprise, made with booze, surprise, and pretzels, a recipe from her childhood with an alcoholic mom. Liberty takes a bite and declares it “Yum-my!” The others are shocked, for numerous reasons.

Another surprise? Brody is working the dinner, much to Dina’s dismay. He wants to meet Gloria because he dreams of becoming a chef, but promises Dina he’ll leave if she wants him to.

At dinner, Emerald notices Liberty and Carr cozying up, while Allura and Raul are getting pretty cute themselves. But there’s still business to settle. Gloria refuses to give Winston her recipe, but agrees to a lifetime supply of tuna noodle casserole instead.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Marcus Weller arrives dressed as a caterer with a box of “goodies.” When security refuses to let him upstairs, Marcus shoots the guard and heads up anyway.

With Raul throwing up after eating Carr’s Jell-O and Emerald stepping outside for a mysterious call, Carr and Liberty share a vulnerable moment about Milan and Chase. Emerald whispers something to Dina, leaving Allura, Gloria, and Brody in the room as Marcus arrives with a gun.

Allura watches as Dina falls to her knees and Marcus aims his gun at her. “Allura Grant, this is the last Thanksgiving you’ll ever have on Earth.”

All’s Fair, Wednesdays, Hulu