Jimmy Kimmel Is Startled by Donald Trump’s Latest Hand Bruise

In the monologue for the Thursday, January 22, episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, host Jimmy Kimmel kicked off his talk about Donald Trump by referencing the president’s 21st wedding anniversary with wife Melania Trump.

“Twenty-one years ago today, Melania said ‘I do’ and a beautiful prenuptial agreement was born,” he joked. “Trump was traveling back from Europe today, but he did take time to post something sweet. He posted some random guy calling him the “greatest president in the world.’ That was it. Sorry, Melania!”

He then showed a recent photo of the president with a massive purple bruise on his left hand. He kidded that Trump will have to be “very careful during court-ordered lovemaking” on his anniversary and referred to him as “Teddy Bruisevelet.”

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“I don’t know, he may have left his makeup kit at home because, first of all, he’s two totally different colors,” Kimmel continued. “His hand’s like a marshmallow, and his face is like a Costco rotisserie chicken, or something.”

The late-night host then pointed out Trump’s bruise, and noted that the explanation that he “shakes a lot of hands” doesn’t match up with the fact that it’s on his left side. “He didn’t even try to spackle over it this time,” Kimmel continued, before concluding the segment with one final zinger: “His press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, put out a statement saying he banged his hand on the corner of a table during a signing … and then again spanking himself with that Nobel Peace Prize.”

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Kimmel went on to talk about Trump’s talk of taking over Greenland and joked, “Just like that Wall of Mexico and the caravans that are coming and ‘they’re eating the dogs and cats,’ I’m telling you, after next week, we will never hear about Greenland again.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35c, ABC