‘Married to Medicine’: Dr. Contessa Metcalfe on ‘Messy’ Season 12 & Challenges

Dr. Contessa Metcalfe has gone all in on Season 12 of Married to Medicine. She and her husband Dr. Scott pulled from their investments and savings for a medical venture and new building. This puts pressure on their own relationship, as well as the family. 

Metcalfe also weathers through the complex dynamic made of the big personalities of her friend group. Among them Dr. Jackie Walters, Dr. Simone Whitmore, Quad Webb, Toya Bush Harris, Dr. Mimi Sanders, and Dr. Heavenly Kimes. The latter which she hasn’t always gotten along with over the years, especially last season when things broke down. 

 Before the November 30 premiere of the Bravo reality series, Metcalfe opens up about what’s to come. 

What would you say you learned about yourself last season after everything that went down between you and Heavenly? Did you go in with a fresh perspective? 

Dr. Contessa Metcalfe: I did. Being a “friend” or main character, they don’t cut you any breaks. They aren’t like, “oh you’re just a friend, so we won’t get into your mess or business. No, no, no. If you’re on Married to Medicine, sit at the table, you are fodder. You are here for that stuff. That’s one thing I learned. That if you’re part of the group, you’re part of the group. Those designations don’t really matter because we are all family. When it comes down to it, we’re there for one another. The other thing I learned from one season to another, something that seems huge like the Heavenly and my situation. This year was just tough. 

She had a tough year. I would say it was tough for me emotionally. It was tough for me financially. Scott went through a lot. We had a lot going on, but from a mental health perspective I was kind of in a better place. That made it easier for me to move forward with Heavenly. I also saw she did need some support. We were able to navigate where we needed to be right now and let last year be. It still is what it is. She still said and did some terrible things. She is not being absolved from those things she did, but you know how to move forward. You know who people are and how to move in a way that makes more sense. Ultimately, in this group we know how to put the mess to the side if people are struggling and need some support. 

Pictured: (l-r) Dr. Scott Metcalfe, Dr. Contessa Metcalfe — (Photo by: Michael Serine/Bravo)

It’s sad what happened with her son’s arrest, but would you say it brought you two closer together? 

For sure. I mean I’m an empath and have three kids. My kids are young right now. My oldest is a junior in high school and my younger one just started middle school. I don’t even know what it’s like. I can’t even imagine what it would be like when my kids are grown where I try to figure out how to be a mother and be what my role is and what that looks like. I do know when I’m going through it with my family, I need the support of my friends. Everybody can’t be on the outs all the time. I just had nothing but empathy there. I just want everything to be better and for us to be able to move to a place of better stability. That’s what I saw. I saw that this was a time she needed support. If we’ve ever been friends, why would you not be there for someone who is at a low point in their lives and think about what they would need in that situation. 

What did you make of the drama between Quad and Simone and how that carried over from last season’s reunion? 

I’m so confused. My head is in a washing machine when it comes to those two. I don’t even know. It’s like they’ve been fighting ever since I’ve met them. Then I have moments of lucidity, but it can pop off immediately. What I’ve learned is to sit back and watch it and know that even when they make up, I know it’s very temporary until the next time. It’s like to be continued. That’s what it will be with their relationship until they can come together with a level of understanding of what is really going on with them. 

Talk about what you’re going through this season. You and Scott are putting a lot on the line for this business. 

I held it together for my friends so I could fall apart at home. Even with the kids, I knew it was a big risk. It was like how much do I like my kids? It was borrow from Peter to pay Paul, but that’s what I did. It was a lot of savings and investments where I just said, “it’s kind of now or never.” I’m 49. I’ve been working so long and such an avid saver, but what am I saving for? Leave it to someone else? I like them, but we also have to ultimately blaze our own path. I owe them to be a great example. I do want to leave a legacy to them. I think believing in myself and investing in myself and this business is going to probably be 10 fold manifest better than any investment I used to make, but it took me a long time to come to that because I was always operating in a place of fear. But I kept thinking about now or never. 

This is the last year of my 40s. I had all these things I wanted to accomplish that for some reason I kept putting to the side. I always put everybody’s happiness and well-being ahead of my own. I also realize that nobody is going to look out for me. Nobody is going to do it for me. It may seem selfish, but I really thought it was messing with my mental health. I had to sit down and really register what was important to me and what I wanted to accomplish in this life of mine. One of those things was to invest in myself. That’s what you’ll see this season, but it is a crapshoot. Only time will tell. I want to teach my kids too that you have to depend on yourself. The work you’ve done on yourself, you have to know you’re enough. I’m testing out that theory. If I fail, guess what? I have 10 fingers and toes. I can make it back, but it’s now or never. 

With you and Scott going through this together, how does that impact your relationship dynamic? 

We’ve been married for 20 years. Some years are better than others. I think we needed to have this opportunity for him to see me put my foot down and say this is what I need. It’s kind of the same conversation, I do put the needs of others ahead of my own. But what that does sometimes, it teaches people you’re less valuable. I always say I created that monster. I taught him how to treat me. I could throw him all the hints in the world, but he’s just not going to do it. I have to realize that I have to take what I want, take what I need. It did cause some conflict. Sometimes it does end up being if we’re successful, he’d be like we did it. If we fail, he’d blame me. I’m predicting that right now. I always knew that. It has always been that way, so what is the risk there? I had to do this for myself. I had to put myself to the front. 

What can you tell us about the girls’ trips? 

We’re taking a couple of trips. I was actually in charge of a girls trip. I will say that I think universally said I did a great job. Arguably, I’ve been selected to hold the crown for the best planner of girls trips. I’m sure Toya and Simone will battle me for that title, but I think I did pretty darn good. I’m a giver. I’m a middle child. You know us middle children like to invest in other people. I got to show what I was capable of this year. I think the girls trip will show you too the rage for a lot of us is right under the surface. As much as I tried to make it about sisterhood and camaraderie, there is still a lot of mess. But we figured out a way to come back together. 

Pictured: (l-r) Dr. Mimi Sanders, Toya Bush-Harris, Dr. Contessa Metcalfe, Brandi Milton, Angel Davis — (Photo by: Jik-Reuben Pringle/Bravo)

Quad and Simone brought friends along. What do you make of Angel and Brandi and how do they fit into the mix? 

They did a great job. They came in with their own personalities and their own wonderful families and wonderful stories that were just wow, so heavy. So much that we won’t get through all of those personal stories this whole season. It’s almost like an onion. Every time we’re together, you learn more and more about people. They were really good choices. They seamlessly fit into this group. One thing I will become an error people will make is they will come into a mess with someone they are feuding with as a friend.

I don’t think it’s a good idea because if you watch Simone and Quad for instance have a fight and 10 minutes later they are hugging and braiding each other’s hair. You don’t want to get into their dynamic because you’ll be the odd man out. What I’ve learned from watching these two ladies is they’ve been able to navigate getting to know people or themselves. I think all the new ladies can stand on their own perfectly fine. They don’ t need a friend. I think they were all able to navigate this circle without the luxury of having built-in backup. They were just fine and can stand on their own six-inch stilettos. 

What do you want to tease about this season? What stood out? 

I think everyone’s family was going through a lot this season. You may not want to share, but if the cameras catch it, they’ll catch it. The cameras don’t like it. Everybody shared a lot of their personal stories. I think in the past where people were able to skate sometimes and were able to benefit from that filming happened in a time where life was a little more peaceful. It just so happens cameras came up during a time where a lot was going on in peoples’ personal lives.

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The other things that happened organically, because we don’t exclude the men, the men jump in front of the camera. The men are not plus ones. I think they need to have their own white coats for the main title turning around and doing their photoshoot. The men are messy, messy, messy. They are not afraid to jump into the mess. I think that’s a good thing because we have a lot of male viewers. A lot of women pull their husbands or significant others in when they’re watching the shows. We also have a lot of men who watch it who will tell me no matter the demographic, they think the show highlights, because it is the most underrated show on Bravo but the best show, the real true things going on people’s lives. We’re not afraid to talk about them and share them with everybody. I don’t know if any other reality show does it as well. 

So you need a spinoff focusing on the guys? 

I just think the men are going to take over Married to Medicine and make us be friends. After this season, I feel Andy [Cohen] is going to start the reunion out with the men sitting on the couch and we’ll be able to come on in Episode 2. They were crazy. I was almost like a lord, so we had to shut them up. They were a lot. They were in it, but that’s a good thing because our families are not just one dimensional. I think the show highlights the opportunities for us to show the full family. I think that’s what we did this season. 

Married to Medicine, Season 12 premiere, November 30, 9/8c, Bravo (Next Day Peacock)