If TV Characters Had OKCupid Dating Profiles ...

Ashley Moran

Your Perfect Match?

Ever wonder how some of your favorite TV characters would fare in the online dating world? We picked a few (mostly) unattached singletons and created some profiles (with character quotes) that mimic popular dating sites. No doubt these men and women look attractive, but do they sound attractive? We'll let you decide which of these lovelorn characters should get a chance at love and long-term relationship, for Valentine's Day (and beyond).

The Mindy Project, Mindy Kaling

John P. Fleenor/Hulu

Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project)

Occupation
The hottest OB/GYN in NYC

My self-summary
I am a hot, smart woman with an ass that doesn’t quit! I’m also a warrior, and my warrior name is Beyoncé Pad Thai. I am not picky. I just have standards. If you’re a serial killer, I’m not interested.

What I’m doing with my life
I do the elliptical for 5 minutes, 4 times a week. It’s like my life is buffering.

I’m really good at
Being hot. I’m one of those few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. I figured, if I’m going to be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess, right?

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m a great role model. It’s so weird being my own role model. You know I recommend it.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
God, I want a donut.

Something I could not live without
I have the right to life, liberty, and chicken wings.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
The Real Housewives and getting celeb clients for the Lahiri Fertility clinic

Walking Dead, Norman Reeds

Gene Page/AMC

Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead)

Occupation
Zombie slayer

My self-summary
You want to know what I was before all this? I was nobody. Nothing. But hell, I could hit a turkey between the eyes from any distance.

What I’m doing with my life
Surviving.

I’m really good at
Shooting geeks with my crossbow, riding my motorcycle, skinning squirrels, making walker ear necklaces

The first things people usually notice about me
The line is pretty clear, zero tolerance for walkers.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
Who has time for this stuff?

Something I could not live without
My crossbow

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Staying alive. Killing zombies.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rachel Bloom

Smallz & Raskind/The CW

Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

Occupation
Lawyer

My self-summary
I am not crazy. I just sometimes need some change in my life!

What I’m doing with my life
Oh, you know, left a job at a great law firm in NYC and moved to West Covina, CA for no particular reason at all. Just wanted to chillax. Live the "SoCal" life.

I’m really good at
Arguing. The whole lawyer thing and just talking in general (I'm very good at talking). Spontaneously singing and dancing.

The first things people usually notice about me
That I’m not a California native, which is weird because I just love the beach. That’s why I moved here!

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
"The Sexy Getting Ready Song" and fondue (for two)

Something I could not live without
That warm feeling like glitter is exploding inside of you.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Josh. I mean, the beach. You know it’s only 2 hours away...4 with traffic.

Empire, Jussie Smollett

Christopher Fragapane/FOX

Jamal Lyon (Empire)

Occupation
Singer-songwriter/Former CEO of Empire Enterprises

My self-summary
I’m gay and I’m an artist. But that don’t make me a gay artist. Don’t ever underestimate me.

What I’m doing with my life
I’m going after Empire Entertainment. Imma take it.

I’m really good at
Performing my music

The first things people usually notice about me
I am a man. You can keep that song, and your money. My obedience is not for sale.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
My favorite music is my own. I write my own. I told my father, “All the songs I’m writing will only further prove that I’m you but on steroids.”

Something I could not live without
My family, except my dad

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Empire

Scandal, Kerry Washington

Bob D'Amico/ABC

Olivia Pope (Scandal)

Occupation
Political fixer

My self-summary
I'm a gladiator in a suit, and my white hat is bigger than your white hat. I am many things, but stupid is not one of them. Also, I am brilliant. You’d be lucky to have me.

What I’m doing with my life
Handling other people's problems except my own. My gut tells me everything I need to know.

I’m really good at
Fixing messes. I don’t perform miracles or the impossible. I make cold calculations about difficult decisions.

The first things people usually notice about me
I have a talented and loyal posse that would go over a cliff for me.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
Dinner is popcorn.

Something I could not live without
A Bordeaux that would bring tears to the eyes.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
The White House

New Girl, Jake Johnson

Brian Bowen Smith/FOX

Nick Miller (New Girl)

Occupation
Bartender

My self-summary
I’m 30 years old and I don’t have health insurance. I’m not a successful adult. I hate doors. I'm definitely sexually attracted to ladybugs. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself. I've done things. I wrote half a book about zombies. I’m good at being that guy that you find yourself spending more and more time with until you meet your husband.

What I’m doing with my life
Running Clyde's Bar. Getting better at True American.

I’m really good at
Pouring some brews. Drinking. Moon walking. Running away from confrontation.

The first things people usually notice about me
My skinny fat guy body. Also, whether or not I’m drunk.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
Beer beer beer beer beer

Something I could not live without
Pink robes. They are my catnip.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Getting older. I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.

Girls, Lena Dunham

HBO

Hannah Horvath (Girls)

Occupation
Aspiring writer

My self-summary
I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me. If anything, I think I'm just too smart and too sensitive and too, like, not crazy. So that I'm feeling all these big feelings and containing all this stuff for everybody else.

What I'm doing with my life
I am busy, trying to become who I am.

I’m really good at
Writing. I don’t want to freak you out, but I think that I may be the voice of my generation.

The first things people usually notice about me
I'm an individual, and I feel how I feel when I feel it.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
Really, really raw steak. Chips. Cupcakes. Pizza. Ice cream. Yogurt.

Something I could not live without
My notebook. It’s not a journal, it’s a notebook. It’s notes for a book.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
EVERYTHING. I realize I'm not different. I want what everyone wants. I want what they all want. I want all the things. I just want to be happy.

Shameless, Jeremy Allen White

Brian Bowen Smith/SHOWTIME

Philip “Lip” Gallagher (Shameless)

Occupation
Student

My self-summary
I’m the only thing that passes for a responsible adult that you’re gonna find.

What I’m doing with my life
Getting a diploma and high paying job so I can buy houses and s--t.

I’m really good at
Thinking for myself. Robotics. I’d like to hang with C-3PO in my lifetime.

The first things people usually notice about me
That I’m that extra special Gallagher, kind of f--ked up.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, or food
I believe the answer to this question is the answer to most questions: "f-you" :)

Something I could not live without
Marlboros

I spend a lot of time thinking about
My education. To master the art of the book report you just take any novel, no matter when it was written, and you argue that the main character is a latent homosexual. I don’t want to sit in a lecture that teaches me how to modify algorithms instead of thinking for myself. Great things don’t happen in tiny little increments; they happen when someone thinks completely differently, and all you geniuses...you’re just modifying algorithms.

< >