'The Big Bang Theory': Sheldon Cooper's Nerdiest Quotes

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies “for you no charge."

"You remember you how you explained to met that the Kardashians aren’t real celebrities. Well, geology is the Kardashians of science."

"My fists are not up here because I’m milking a giant invisible cow!"

"What exactly does that expression mean: 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?"

"Well, well, well, if it isn’t Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox! "

"Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And, as it always has, rock crushes scissors."

"No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and HALO 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapons systems."

"Ah, gravity – thou art a heartless b*tch."

"Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic."

"For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested."