Best Lines of the Week (October 12-19): 'What If the Person Who Died Was the One That Cooked?'

arrow - left
arrow - right
best-lines
Let's Work It Out
Sonja Flemming/CBS

Happy Together (CBS)

Cooper (Felix Mallard): “I get it. You know, back when I was Fat Cooper, I threw a tizzy when my parents polly-wogged my Tim Tams in the bin”

Jake (Damon Wayans Jr.): “I don’t know what you just said”

— Things get dramatic for Jake when Cooper throws away his junk food in attempt to help him eat healthier

BobsBurgers_809_Tweentrepreneurs_08_11-1_hires2
FOX

Bob’s Burgers (Fox)

“And then everybody was staring like they’d never seen three kids holding a crying man down, shoving money in his pants”

— Louise (Kristen Schaal) recalling a hilarious “off-screen” moment with Teddy (Larry Murphy) after convincing him not to invest in their business scheme

The Good Place - Season 3

The Good Place (NBC)

“I’m gonna eat all this chili… and/or die trying”

— Chidi (William Jackson Harper) prepares a gross bowl of chili for his students as he goes through a crisis

TY BURRELL, REID EWING
ABC/Ron Tom

Modern Family (ABC)

Phil: “She’s ghosting you?”

Dylan: “For an older dude, you always
kept up with the lingo”

Phil: “Word”

— Phil impressing daughter Haley’s boyfriend with his modern millennial lingo

SARA GILBERT, EMMA KENNEY
ABC/Eric McCandless

The Conners (ABC)

Harris (Emma Kenney): “What if the person who died was the only one that cooked?”

Dan (John Goodman): “Then we keep telling people we’re grieving until we figure out to feed ourselves”

— the Conner family grieving the loss of matriarch Roseanne while living off of an influx of consolation casseroles

This Is Us - Season 3
Ron Batzdorff/NBC

This Is Us (NBC)

“I wonder if everything would make more sense if you looked at things in reverse? Like if you started at the end, and moved backward and tried to figure out how you got there”

— Jack’s little brother Nicky (Michael Angarano) sharing his woes, and alluding to the show’s habit of jumping timelines

#MurphyToo
David Giesbrecht/CBS

Murphy Brown (CBS)

“I’m kind of known as the, uh, Tweet Raider … Like Tomb Raider, but with tweets!”

— Pat Patel (Nik Dodani) promising to dig up Ed Shannon’s old tweets

vicki-rhoc
Bravo video still

Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo)

“I think I’m allergic to Jamaica”

— Vicky Gunvalson, after breaking out in numerous rashes during the girl gang’s trip to Jamaica

big-mouth-quote
Netflix

Big Mouth (Netflix)

“My dad is not a man, he is a one-star Yelp review come to life”

— Andrew Glouberman (John Mulaney) telling his classmates about his father, Marty (Richard Kind)

blackish

Black-ish (ABC)

Junior (Marcus Scribner): “For the record, Malia Obama took a gap year”

Dre (Anthony Anderson): “You are not Malia Obama, fool!”

— Dre and Junior argue over whether Junior should take a gap year before starting college

1 of

From a sassy line about Roseanne in the Conners premiere to Chidi's full meltdown on The Good Place, click through to see a round-up of the best moments on TV this week!

'The Conners' Premiere: Roseanne's Death, Barr Speaks Out & a Ratings UpdateSee Also

'The Conners' Premiere: Roseanne's Death, Barr Speaks Out & a Ratings Update

See what viewers are saying about the spinoff's first episode