Best Lines of the Week: (Oct. 13-20): ‘I Don’t Feel So Good. My Butt Keeps Throwing Up.’

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Best Lines of the Week - October 13
The Mayor - BERNARD DAVID JONES
Tony Rivetti/ABC

The Mayor

Jermaine: “Home girl’s wardrobe is horrible. It’s bumming us all out.”
T.K.: “It’s the shoes, man.”

– Courtney Rose (Brand Michael Hall)’s buddies (Bernard David Jones and Marcel Spears) discuss issues with his political advisor, Val (Lea Michelle).

American Horror Story - Billy Eichner, Leslie Grossman
Frank Ockenfels/FX

American Horror Story

Harrison: “Oh, now you wanna talk about protecting our wives?”
Ivy: “I just drove my wife crazy, I didn’t get her killed!”

– Harrison (Billy Eichner) tries to defend not caring about Meadow (Leslie Grossman) killing herself, but that doesn’t really help his case since he gets murdered by the girls shortly after.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Rachel Bloom
Greg Gayne/The CW

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Rebecca: “I’m going to mail him my poop but pretend it is cupcakes.”

– Rebecca Bunch (Rachel Bloom) is back with not only a darker hair color but a darker sense of revenge. Her plans to get back at Josh (Vincent Rodriguez III) not only involve some unsafe cupcakes, she also decides to create a fake sextape of them.

GHOSTED: Amber Stevens West
Kevin Estrada/FOX

Ghosted

Annie: “Who would leave Hawaii to go to Florida? People live in Florida because they don’t know about Hawaii.”

– Annie (Amber Stevens West) provides a very accurate piece of insight before Leroy (Craig Robinson) and Max (Adam Scott) head off on their next mission to Hawaii.

Real Housewives of Orange County - shannon beador, peggy sulahian
Bravo

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Shannon: “What kind of pot are you trying to stir?”
Peggy: “My feeling pot!”

– Shannon Beador confronts Peggy Sulahian try to have a discussion about some built up drama, which of course ends in tears and lots of hurt feelings.

Jane The Virgin - Justina Machado, Jaime Camil
Robert Voets/The CW

Jane the Virgin

Darcy: “I can’t believe you broadcast my cervix to the entire world.”
Rogelio: “It was an accident. And it wasn’t the whole world; only 3 million people watch my feed. Oh, 4.5 million.”

– In true telenovela style, Rogelio (Jaime Camil) storms to another missed ultrasound that Darci (Justina Machado) tried to keep him out of but ends up broadcasting her live on Instagram – awkward!

Madam Secretary - Tea Leoni
Jeff Neumann/CBS

Madam Secretary

Russel: “You’re not some random envoy, Elizabeth. If anything happens to you, we won’t just be sad, it’d be an act of war!.”

– Elizabeth McCord (Téa Leoni) is on a mission to help the underprivileged at a refugee camp but even Russel Jackson (Zeljko Ivanek) has to remind her, as Secretary of State her safety is top priority to saving anyone.

THIS IS US - Justin Hartley
Ron Batzdorff/NBC

This Is Us

Kevin: “It’s been 20-years later, I’ve been working my ass off and I am finally on the brink of something special and real and fulfilling. And I will be damned if I let this stupid knee destroy another one of my dreams.”

– Kevin (Justin Hartley) reacts to the news that he has to have surgery to fix the tear in his knee. He reflects on how his fractured knee basically ruined his football career years ago and chooses to just push through the pain.

THE MICK- Jack Stanton
Patrick McElhenney/FOX

The Mick

Ben: “I don’t feel so good. My butt keeps throwing up.”

– In their Halloween special, Ben Pemberton (Jack Stanton) truly delivered the scariest line of all.

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