Best Lines of the Week (June 25-July 1): ‘I’ll Wear the Pants of the Cargo’

Tuca & Bertie 203 How to Be a Bro
Adult Swim

This week on TV gave us some hilarious moments we won’t soon forget! Tuca & Bertie showed us the dark side of bros, and Jan Brady got a whole new look on Dragging the Classics: The Brady Bunch, while Jojo Siwa revealed the competitive spirit of her family.

Plus, The Late Late Show with James Corden returned from hiatus, and the Tour de France got off to a bumpy start.

7 Reasons We're Excited 'Tuca & Bertie' Was Saved by Adult SwimSee Also

7 Reasons We're Excited 'Tuca & Bertie' Was Saved by Adult Swim

From casting to the relationships, here's why we're excited it got a second chance to spread its wings.

Scroll down for some of TV’s best lines this week!

Tour de France Day One Bike Pile Up
NBCSN

Tour de France 2021 (NBCSN)

“Oh my goodness me! It was the sign the rider in front hit, and that is the result.”

—Commentator Phil Liggett identifies the cause of a massive bike pile-up on Day 1 of the tour: a French woman holding out a sign that read, “Go grandpa-grandma.”

 

Martha Gets Down and Dirty 102 Martha Stewart
Discovery+

Martha Gets Down and Dirty (Discovery+)

Mike: “That’s got to be hard on your stomach-”

Martha Stewart: “No, she … I don’t think she has a stomach.”

Martha Stewart gets the hottest hot sauce, explaining to the shop’s owner that her daughter loves hot sauce and can consume a whole bottle of Tabasco a week.

Rick and Morty 502 Jerry Scaled
Adult Swim

Rick and Morty (Adult Swim)

“Sure, guys. Rick can make secret decoys of the family and place them all around the country, but f**k me if I have questions about the starfish man in a target suit.”

—Jerry (Chris Parnell) gets annoyed when everyone freaks out at him for asking about Rick’s (Justin Roiland) latest creation, Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted.

Dragging The Classics The Brady Bunch Bianca Del Rio Barry Williams
Paramount+

Dragging the Classics: The Brady Bunch (Paramount +)

“Well Jan, your friends like you the way you are. It’s the family who hates you.”

—Bianca Del Rio riffs as Carol Brady in an outtake from the drag queen remake of The Brady Bunch episode, Will the Real Jan Brady Please Stand Up?

The Late Late Show With James Corden Season 6 Episode 145
CBS

The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS)

James Corden: “What about you, Karms? What’s Karms up to?”

Ian Karmel: “Putting the weight back on.”

James Corden asks the crew what they will be during the summer.

Tuca & Bertie 203 How to Be a Bro
Adult Swim

Tuca & Bertie (Adult Swim)

“I must make a simple choice to become someone who says noice. I’ll wear the pants of the cargo. I’ll be a bird who is a…”

—Bertie (Ali Wong) succumbs to the pressure of the bro community and especially the bro version of herself, Kyle, who encourages her to sneak bro spit into Pastry Pete’s batter.

Hell's Kitchen 205 Payton Scaled
FOX

Hell's Kitchen: Young Guns (FOX)

“Chef Ramsay does not seem like the person to text. I’m definitely expecting some ‘special characters’ to bleep out some, uh, certain words that Chef Ramsay would use.”

— Contestant Payton remarks on Gordon Ramsay’s penchant for swearing as the chefs prepare to compete in an emoji-themed challenge.

Late Show With Stephen Colbert 0791 Jim Gaffigan Scaled
CBS

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert (CBS)

“You look at some faces and you’re like, ‘You know what, you should probably stick with a mask.’”

—Comedian Jim Gaffigan tells Stephen Colbert how weird it is seeing people without masks everywhere.

Dave 204
FX

Dave (FX)

“No, it’s OK. I’m just peeing sitting down, no poop.”

—Dave (Dave Burd) gets walked in on in the bathroom by Ally (Taylor Misiak) after he sleeps over at her place.

Celebrity Family Feud 704 Jojo Siwa Chari D'Amelio
ABC

Celebrity Family Feud (ABC)

“That’s what the Commodores wore in 1974.”

Steve Harvey praises the fashion of teen pop sensation, Jojo Siwa, who swept the board against the TikTok famous D’Amelio family.