Best Lines of the Week (June 25-July 1): ‘I’ll Wear the Pants of the Cargo’
This week on TV gave us some hilarious moments we won’t soon forget! Tuca & Bertie showed us the dark side of bros, and Jan Brady got a whole new look on Dragging the Classics: The Brady Bunch, while Jojo Siwa revealed the competitive spirit of her family.
Plus, The Late Late Show with James Corden returned from hiatus, and the Tour de France got off to a bumpy start.
Scroll down for some of TV’s best lines this week!
Tour de France 2021 (NBCSN)
“Oh my goodness me! It was the sign the rider in front hit, and that is the result.”
—Commentator Phil Liggett identifies the cause of a massive bike pile-up on Day 1 of the tour: a French woman holding out a sign that read, “Go grandpa-grandma.”
Martha Gets Down and Dirty (Discovery+)
Mike: “That’s got to be hard on your stomach-”
Martha Stewart: “No, she … I don’t think she has a stomach.”
—Martha Stewart gets the hottest hot sauce, explaining to the shop’s owner that her daughter loves hot sauce and can consume a whole bottle of Tabasco a week.
Rick and Morty (Adult Swim)
“Sure, guys. Rick can make secret decoys of the family and place them all around the country, but f**k me if I have questions about the starfish man in a target suit.”
—Jerry (Chris Parnell) gets annoyed when everyone freaks out at him for asking about Rick’s (Justin Roiland) latest creation, Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted.
Dragging the Classics: The Brady Bunch (Paramount +)
“Well Jan, your friends like you the way you are. It’s the family who hates you.”
—Bianca Del Rio riffs as Carol Brady in an outtake from the drag queen remake of The Brady Bunch episode, Will the Real Jan Brady Please Stand Up?
The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS)
James Corden: “What about you, Karms? What’s Karms up to?”
Ian Karmel: “Putting the weight back on.”
—James Corden asks the crew what they will be during the summer.
Tuca & Bertie (Adult Swim)
“I must make a simple choice to become someone who says noice. I’ll wear the pants of the cargo. I’ll be a bird who is a…”
—Bertie (Ali Wong) succumbs to the pressure of the bro community and especially the bro version of herself, Kyle, who encourages her to sneak bro spit into Pastry Pete’s batter.
Hell's Kitchen: Young Guns (FOX)
“Chef Ramsay does not seem like the person to text. I’m definitely expecting some ‘special characters’ to bleep out some, uh, certain words that Chef Ramsay would use.”
— Contestant Payton remarks on Gordon Ramsay’s penchant for swearing as the chefs prepare to compete in an emoji-themed challenge.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert (CBS)
“You look at some faces and you’re like, ‘You know what, you should probably stick with a mask.’”
—Comedian Jim Gaffigan tells Stephen Colbert how weird it is seeing people without masks everywhere.
Dave (FX)
“No, it’s OK. I’m just peeing sitting down, no poop.”
—Dave (Dave Burd) gets walked in on in the bathroom by Ally (Taylor Misiak) after he sleeps over at her place.
Celebrity Family Feud (ABC)
“That’s what the Commodores wore in 1974.”
—Steve Harvey praises the fashion of teen pop sensation, Jojo Siwa, who swept the board against the TikTok famous D’Amelio family.
