Best Lines of the Week (April 20-26): ‘You Had Sex With Her, and Then You Broke up With Her?’

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Best Lines
Jack Rowand/The CW, Comedy Central, Food Network
Bill Inoshita/CBS

Young Sheldon

Mary: “Why else would a dead squirrel be in my living room?”
Brenda: “I don’t know what kind of house you keep.”
– The Cooper and Sparks families find themselves at odds when Mary Cooper (Zoe Perry) accuses the Sparks of their dog having left a dead squirrel in their living room.

Vanderpump Rules - Katie Maloney-Schwartz
Tommy Garcia/Bravo

Vanderpump Rules

Katie: “You had sex with her, and then you broke up with her? That was the last douche bag move that you pull in her life.”
– Katie Maloney-Schwartz judges Jax Taylor for the way he chose to break up with Brittany.

Good Girls - Christina Hendricks, Beth Boland, Mae Whitman
Steve Dietl/NBC

Good Girls

Beth: “You’d so be the Joe Pesci.”
Annie: “What? Cause I’m short?”
– Beth (Christina Hendricks) and Annie (Mae Whitman) joke about which male actor each of the girls are most similar to.

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Comedy Central

Full Frontal With Samantha Bee

Samantha: “Pompeo is also a friend of Frank Gaffney, a professional Islamophobe and judging by his facial hair, an escaped Westworld robot.”
– Samantha Bee didn’t hold back at all about the current political happenings, likening them to robots from the HBO hit show.

Worst Cooks In America -La Toya Jackson
Food Network

Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition

Tyler: “Pop that lemon then give it a good squeeze.”
LaToya: “How do I do that?”
– LaToya Jackson proves cooking is not her forte when she struggles with how to squeeze a lemon correctly.

The 100 -Eliza Taylor
Jack Rowand/The CW

The 100

Clarke: “You think you can kill me? Have at it.”
– Two months after Praimfaya swept across Earth, Clarke refuses to give in to the deadly conditions.

Ink Masters - Josh Payne

Ink Masters

Josh: “It kind of sucks that no one got to see the fun side of me, but if they ever meet me in person, they’ll realize I’m not that way unless I’m in a competition setting.”
– Finalist Josh Payne discusses his likeability, or lack thereof, during this season.


Bob’s Burgers

Linda: “What? Did we do anything fun?”
Bob: “I mean, we ate a lot of cheese.”
– When the kids go on a trip for school, Bob (H. Jon Benjamin) and Linda (John Roberts) attempt to enjoy their kid-free time, but they have a hard time leaving the comfort of their couch.

Randy Holmes/ABC

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy: “You lost it on the second hole or in the second hole?”
– Jimmy Kimmel pokes fun at Mark Ruffalo’s story of how he lost his virginity on the second hole of a golf course.

Daniel Tosh
Comedy Central


Daniel: “Lady, quit filming and use your phone as a stopwatch! This could be a new track record.”
– Daniel delivers humorous remarks about a girl riding a horse that won’t stop.

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From the return of The CW’s The 100 to the never-ending fun of Bob’s Burgers, this week had entertainment for any audience.

Click through the gallery above to see our 10 favorite lines on TV this week!

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