Best Lines on TV This Week: Hey God, Are You There or What?

Another Period

“Dear God, please free me. And if you have time, make me really famous. And while you’re at it, God, would you mind killing all my enemies in a fire? Ooh, but hopefully after they bathe, so their hair’s still wet and the fire takes longer to cook them!”

— Lillian (Natasha Leggero) praying for one or two simple requests.

Futurama

“Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys do something!”

— Farnsworth (Kath Soucie) hoping one of the spiritual leaders will help him.

Tyrant

“God has better thing to do than punish you.”

— Leila (Moran Atias) putting God’s priorities into perspective.

Mr. Robot

“I remember when I was a kid, I got into web design by ripping off sites I liked. All you had to do was view source on your browser and there it was. The code. You could copy-paste it, modify it a little, put your name on it, and like that, it was your site. View source. What if we had that for people? Would people really wanna see?”

— Elliot (Rami Malek) pondering the outcomes of people using computer tricks.

Scream

“I need like a Men in Black brain wipe.”

— Noah (John Karna) wishing for the helpful memory-loss device from the famous alien flick.

Suits

Mike: “Jessica, no, you can’t make me work with that man.”
Jessica: “Oh, I can make you work with the goddamn window washers if I want to. And if you don’t do this, you might find yourself dangling 50 stories above the ground.”

— Jessica (Gina Torres) reminding Mike (Patrick J. Adams) who’s really in control.

Pretty Little Liars

“Nobody wants to put on a ballgown and then get splinters in their butt.”

— Emily Fields (Shay Mitchell) rejecting the idea of nature and formal attire mixing together.

Chasing Life

“This is all I need…a room full of men.”

— Emma (Rebecca Schull) enjoying some eye candy.