Best Lines on TV This Week: Hey God, Are You There or What?

Comedy Central
Natasha Leggero "Lillian's Birthday" July 28, 2015 Photo Credit:

Another Period

“Dear God, please free me. And if you have time, make me really famous. And while you’re at it, God, would you mind killing all my enemies in a fire? Ooh, but hopefully after they bathe, so their hair’s still wet and the fire takes longer to cook them!”

— Lillian (Natasha Leggero) praying for one or two simple requests.


“Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys do something!”

— Farnsworth (Kath Soucie) hoping one of the spiritual leaders will help him.


“God has better thing to do than punish you.”

— Leila (Moran Atias) putting God’s priorities into perspective.

Mr. Robot

“I remember when I was a kid, I got into web design by ripping off sites I liked. All you had to do was view source on your browser and there it was. The code. You could copy-paste it, modify it a little, put your name on it, and like that, it was your site. View source. What if we had that for people? Would people really wanna see?”

— Elliot (Rami Malek) pondering the outcomes of people using computer tricks.


“I need like a Men in Black brain wipe.”

— Noah (John Karna) wishing for the helpful memory-loss device from the famous alien flick.


Mike: “Jessica, no, you can’t make me work with that man.”
Jessica: “Oh, I can make you work with the goddamn window washers if I want to. And if you don’t do this, you might find yourself dangling 50 stories above the ground.”

— Jessica (Gina Torres) reminding Mike (Patrick J. Adams) who’s really in control.

Pretty Little Liars

“Nobody wants to put on a ballgown and then get splinters in their butt.”

— Emily Fields (Shay Mitchell) rejecting the idea of nature and formal attire mixing together.

Chasing Life

“This is all I needa room full of men.”

— Emma (Rebecca Schull) enjoying some eye candy.